Musings of a Chicago-Born New Yorker

Pre-Emptive Marriage Counseling

Why do engaged couples go through counseling before they get married? It’s always mystified me that it’s something that has to be done if you want to get married. Well, it doesn’t have to be done. But the fiancé and I want our pastors to marry us (yes, both of them), so we have to have marriage counseling.

What is marriage counseling when you’re not even married yet? Is it supposed to teach you how to be married? Is it somehow going to magically make all your fights easily resolved and all your love perfectly expressed and all your problems go poof? I doubt it. So what’s the point?

Because we’re crazy people, the fiancé and I have decided to go through marriage counseling with both pastors. They aren’t doing counseling together, so we have to do separate sessions. My pastor is busy and is avoiding phone calls from the fiancé. That means we can’t even schedule with him. Our wedding is in 99 days. I guess we’ll get it done eventually. Maybe sometime next March (which is more than 100 days away…)

His pastor does actually answer the phone, so we’ve got our first session scheduled for next week. I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that we’re basically there to convince him that we both really love Jesus and we both really love marriage. All this depends on his opinion. I need a Convince Your Pastor You Love Jesus and Marriage for Dummies book.

Worst case scenario is that his pastor thinks we’re totally ill-equipped for marriage and should be marrying anybody but each other. That would suck, but at least there’s my pastor. He thinks we are “the most mature couple” he’s counseled in a while. We’ve only had one session with him (before he stopped taking our calls) and it went really well and he’d definitely marry us if the fiancé’s pastor back out.

I’m just tripping. I know my pastor is busy, he’s not screening us. I do have Guns N’ Roses on standby though. And the fiancé’s pastor is likely to think we’ll make a good married couple too. At least we’ll see, next week.

One response

  1. Nice blog having a lot of nice information on Pre Marriage Counseling. Marriage Counseling is vital when there are many explanations why persons are absent in matrimony. Marriage counseling Chicago can be very beneficial to the advancement of a relationship.

    March 7, 2012 at 03:07