Adventures of a Midwest Transplant

Diet My Ass

I had my bridesmaids over last night. These are ladies I’ve been friends with for years, at least a decade with each and two decades with one. We all grew up in the same church, but that has no bearing on how much fun we have together. And between the 132 of us (that’s only a slight exaggeration, my wedding party is huge), we have a huge range of make-up capabilities.

I have a friend who sells Mary Kay, so I had her come over and do a skin care party for my girls. This is the first of three parties. Next is makeup and then finally a color palette especially designed for each of us for the wedding day. It’s the like the grown-up version of playing dress up. But this post isn’t about make-up, it’s about my ladies eating me out of house and home.

When they walked in, they were discussing the importance of fitting into the bridesmaid dresses and being more healthy in general. I had cooked a really delicious dinner for the fiancé, like really delicious. I made chicken drumsticks as if they were hot wings. I deep fried them, then slathered them in a fantastic sauce.

I need to talk about this sauce and why it was so irresistible. It had BBQ sauce, hot sauce, honey, honey mustard, red cider vinegar, and Corona beer. At first, they decided to not gorge on fried food. Three of them shared one drumstick. Then about 3 hours later, there were only 3 drumsticks left.

In between that time, we decided to order spinach pizza. Thin crust pizza with spinach was about as healthy as we could go. I figured since they were all dieting, we’d order a large and there’d be some leftover for me to have lunch the next day. They ate the entire pizza.

I also had a lot of juice in the house. Originally, they were against juice because it has too many calories. But uh…. yeah the juice was all gone when they left too.

My girls are some of my favorite people in the world. And it’s really no trouble to replace everything they ate and drank. But it’s just crazy because I was under the impression they were dieting.

Diet my ass.

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2 responses

  1. I deal with this every day at my work. Every girl is ‘dieting’ but if you put some homemade cookies in front of them, or some ordered in food for lunch that the managers got us, or anything else, they are off that bandwagon! They will fight it like your girls, but concede within a few hours in eating everything that is out there.

    November 9, 2011 at 00:25

  2. silverneurotic

    Haha, that sounds exactly what happens when my sister comes home from college. She came home last weekend and like always, as soon as she walks in the door instead of saying hi to anyone she goes straight for the fridge and starts eating, and eating, and eating. The worst part? She’s like a size 0!

    November 9, 2011 at 20:37