Musings of a Chicago-Born New Yorker

Marriage Counseling

We had our counseling session. It wasn’t so bad. In fact it went pretty well. And just like our first session with my pastor, the fiancé’s pastor called up his mom to talk about how delightful a couple we were and how mature we were.

It’s hard to hear that praise and not think you’re pretty awesome. Just because we’ve already discussed the things they want us to talk about and we have managed to build a pretty solid foundation doesn’t mean we’re exempt from marital problems. But we still feel pretty awesome that our pastors seemed so impressed with us as a couple.

After going through these first couple of sessions, I feel that I’ve learned a bit about us as a couple.

1) We’re teenagers. We both laughed at the exact same moment when we happened upon the phrase “good sex” in our counseling packet. Yup, we’re 13 and a half years old.

2) Pre-marital counseling makes us feel waay better about our relationship. Talking about our foundations, our values, and why we feel we fit well together makes us feel all happy and content. We were in a fight on our way to counseling, yet we left holding hands and singing kumbaya and shit.

3) We have no problem talking out our problems. As long as he can remember not to bullshit me and I can remember not to get angry before we’ve tried discussing things as adults, there’s nothing we can’t work out.

4) We really really wish we could just elope. There’s so many damn steps between now and actually being married. It’d be nice to just be done. After we moved into together, we were living there for a week before we remembered we still weren’t married yet.

5) Maintaining a happy relationship takes work. We can’t let any one part slack. Staying happy doesn’t just happen once you’ve been together for more than 6 months. Feeling like a honeymoon all the time is well and good, but it takes prioritizing the things that matter to you as a couple.

We have date night and that’s awesome. We get “us” time in and it keeps us fresh. It’s like watering a plant, or replacing the batteries in a vibrator or taking down your Christmas decorations before March. A little effort goes a long way in the end result.

2 responses

  1. This is pretty funny: “We were in a fight on our way to counseling, yet we left holding hands and singing kumbaya and shit.” I think that the marriage counseling sounded like it went great! I say ditto on just wanting to elope, I’d totally do that myself but he has to have his mom with him, and if he has his mom then my mom wants to be there, etc, etc.

    November 14, 2011 at 08:32

    • If we had eloped, we would have had hell to pay with both our mothers. And fathers. And all the grandparents. And siblings. And on and on. It was in our best interest to just have a real wedding, ha ha.

      November 14, 2011 at 15:02