Musings of a Chicago-Born New Yorker

“You Available?”

As I’m writing this post, I’m at the library. I’m here to help out my friend. I mentioned in a previous post that she was starting an etiquette class and that I’d offered to help. I rode with her down here and helped bring everything upstairs.

We had to take several escalators up to the level where the room she reserved was located. On the way up the last escalator, there was a man coming down the other side.

He looks at my friend and goes, “you available?”. She didn’t understand him at first so he had to repeat himself. As he spoke louder, his voice reverberated off the tile on the really high ceiling.

She responded, “No. I’m married.” He said okay and we all kept going on our escalators.

I was flabbergasted. I’ve never had anyone approach me in that way. When I said that, she was surprised. I told her that there was only one explanation as to why he talked to her like that.

It was her fault.

She asked was it wrong to smile at strangers. Now my friend is not a smiler by nature. She’s a happy person, but people have told her throughout her life that she doesn’t smile enough. So my question is why is she smiling at random leery strangers?

We had a good laugh about the whole thing because she isn’t married or even close to it but telling an inappropriate stranger that you’re married really is the easiest way to get rid of them.

And yes, she could smile at strangers less and that might help. But even if she fixes her part in it, it probably wouldn’t keep it from ever happening again because guys like that dude run amongst the rest of us normal people. I really think that man should know better.

I mean, has he ever gotten a response other than rejection when he approaches someone that way? How lazy and noncommittal can one get?

Ugh, if you want to approach a complete stranger, and you feel compelled to do it at a library, don’t do it in passing. Approach someone who’s already there. That way you can do some research.

Do they look approachable? When you do a drive-by approach, you don’t even consider that. Do they look available? Looking for a ring saves you a lot of time.

Seriously, I still can’t believe he did that. I find it hilarious and disturbing, disrespectful and odd, and absurd and inappropriate all at once.

Did I mention that he was carrying a box of snickers bars? You know, the kind you carry when you’re selling them for a fundraiser? Perhaps for your kids? That doesn’t make someone more likely to want to talk to you.

Have you ever been approached by a creeper? What’s the worst pickup line you’ve ever heard?

2 responses

  1. I’ve been approached by creeper’s many times, from a young age and luckily until just recently it’s gotten better. (It helps now having a ring now, I think). I seem to attract them, and I am NOT friendly to guys at all, I’m rather defensive, so I don’t get why it happens. Some guys just don’t have a clue and are such creepers!

    December 22, 2011 at 11:37

    • Oh no! Yeah, some guys just can’t take a hint. You’ve got to switch from defensive to offensive. It may not stop the very worst ones, but trust that if you have a look on your face like you’ll fuck someone up just for talking to you, they’re far less likely to talk to you.

      December 22, 2011 at 22:35