Musings of a Chicago-Born New Yorker

Planting A Seed of Trust

There’s this metaphor I came up with on Sunday. I think of re-building the trust is my relationship as planting a seed and watching it grow into a tree.

The fiancé and I discussed how hard it is for me to just magically start trusting him again. My new natural instinct had been to question everything he said, if not aloud then at least in my mind. I couldn’t think of anything that he’d said in the preceding several days that I just believed.

I’m not a cynical or distrustful person by nature, so I was feeling very uncomfortable in this new stage of my relationship and not sure how to move forward. Then, the fiancé said, “you trusted my strength, and you believed me when I said I pick you over lying.”

I had a powerful paradigm shift right at the moment. I realized he was right. When we discussed how his strenght pulled us through that rough patch, I never doubted it. I believed him when he said he’d be strong for the both of us. I knew he was telling the truth and I knew I could count on him.

Out of all this tumult, we emerged feeling closer and more intimate than ever. We are able freely discuss all our emotions, which is totally new for me. Being emotionally vulnerable all the time, never having to put on a strong front has done magnificent things for our mental, emotional, and spiritual connection as a couple.

I realized that the trust I have in him to be strong for both of us was a starting point. It was a metaphorical seed I could plant and nurture into a strong tree. I felt immensely better almost immediately. Knowing I had something he’d said and done that I just instinctively believed and trusted gave me a feeling of peace.

I stopped worrying about how long it would take to heal our rift. I knew it would take time, but I knew we could do it. All I needed was a starting point to go from, and I had that!

The foundation of our relationship is love, trust, and communication. We talk about those three a lot, but I don’t think I’ve ever really focused on one at a time in my own time to think about it. Writing things out in this blog has become a way for me to process and sort through my logic, emotions, etc., so I think I’m going to do blog posts about it.

Back to this seed. I think sunlight, water, and plant food ought to do the trick. Metaphorically I think that’s keeping up our emotional connection, keeping up our mental connection, and taking specific note of new situations that build trust.

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  1. Pingback: The Trust Tree « Chicago-Style Hot Girl