Musings of a Chicago-Born New Yorker

Changing My Name Is A Bitch

Seriously, why do I have to change my name? I mean, I want to, that’s not the issue.

The issue is why do I have to? Can’t I just start going by a new name? I went to this service at this website called and there were so many steps. I paid them money and the asked me 20 questions and filled in all the forms for me.

And even that felt arduous. I had no idea I had to change my name on my SSN card before anything else. This website saved me a lot of wasted driving around the city. It’s just so much though.

What does the husband have to do? Nothing, that’s what!

In my next life, I’m gonna live in a culture where women keep their names.

Speaking of keeping your name, I know in some Latin cultures, they have two last names. The first is the father’s last name, and the second is the mother’s last name.

That was always confusing for me because which name of your parent do you take if they already each have two? Turns out, you take the first name. So only the man is passed on from generation to generation. If you are a female with two names, your kids gets your first last name as their second last name, which will be dropped when either the boys have kids or the girls get married. So as a woman, your family’s name disappears after a generation.

Big whoop that you hold on a name for an extra 30 years. I just feel some kind of way when I get a condescending look because I don’t use my mother’s maiden name. It would disappear anyway when my kids get my husband’s name and my father’s name as their two last names.

Okay, I hope that wasn’t too confusing, and I’m done with my rant. I will be a happier person in one month when all the processing on my name changes at the post office and the IRS and the bank and the social security office and the passport office are done.

2 responses

  1. I admire you for changing your name. IMO, it represents that you and your husband have formed a new family. I’ll be changing my last name eventually so thanks for letting me know a little bit about the process! 🙂

    February 27, 2012 at 11:25

    • I can only share what happens in Illinois. Based on what it took to get my wedding license, I think they make things slightly more complicated (and more expensive) here in IL.

      February 28, 2012 at 05:58