Musings of a Chicago-Born New Yorker

A Newer, Less Destructive Me

I poke fun at the husband often about how harsh he is on phones, but I used to be like him. I would wreak havoc on  a Samsung, reduce a Palm Treo to tears. Don’t even get me started on what I did with a cup of hot chocolate and my first BlackBerry. It was dirty, and it ended in a sticky mess.

But I have mended my evil ways. Also, I upgraded to a much more brick-like BlackBerry. My current one is even lined on the edges with metal. In my quest to prove to myself just how far I’ve come, my latest phone has a touch screen. Yeah, I ain’t scurred. Branching out even furter into the touchscreen abyss, I decide to try out the new Kindle Touch.

Yes, perhaps my older Kindle had to be replaced because I, ahem, broke the screen. But that was the old me. The new me is less destructive. The new me is careful not to press hard. The new me has realized that the damn phone and Kindle makers actually make touchscreens harder to destroy than phone with buttons.

Don’t get me wrong, I love me some buttons. My current Blackberry has both a touchscreen and a keyboard. Boo-yah! I love my qwerty, and I’m not switching over ever if I can help it. And so life in my new touchscreen world is doing okay. Kindle is still intact and the Blackberry is surviving life in pockets with keys, rogue makeup, and even the occasionl hairpin. It’s a badass.

I’m starting to see this less destructive me showing up in non-technology related palced as well. Like in my marriage. I thought that the well-known fact that men don’t listen was exaggerated. But it wasn’t. I just happened to date really good listeners. Enter my husband. The man who rarely listens. Unless I’m talking about food, sex, music, or sports, he doesn’t listen. Unless of course the topic could obviously lead to him getting less of any of the four.

Throughout the course of our relationship, I’ve tried various tatics to get him to listen more. When I talk less, it frustrates him because he hates it when I don’t share things with him. That’s right, the man who doesn’t listen wants me to share everything. Go figure.

I’ve tried yelling. He really does listen when I yell. But I don’t like yelling at him and he hates being yelled at. When we realized how the yelling was negatively impacting our relationship, we knew we ahd to try something else. But it was literally the only thing that worked. So the husband decided to just try on his own to listen better.

He still sucks, but he’s getting better. Noticeable improvement. Except for one glaring thing. He can’t keep a secret. I mean he can keep a secret, but not the it’s-not-officially-a-black-box-secret-but-don’t-you-ever-be-the-one-to-bring-it-up-because-you-don’t-have-a-subtle-bone-in-your-body type of secret. When I get around to finishing my story and telling how he proposed, you’ll see what I mean.

I pride myself on being a loyal friend/family member. But I never want to keep secrets from my husband. So there’s this weird conundrum I’m still sorting out. His behavior is starting to ruffle a few feathers for those who’s secrets he’s spilled with nothing to say for himself besides, “my bad, I didn’t realize when you said tell nobody, nobody included [fill in main person they didn’t want to know].”

But I didn’t yell, I didn’t pout, and I didn’t stop sharing. The husband noticed and mentioned that he really appreciated and is working on his blabbermouthiness. So in my new world of touchscreen and sharing with my husband, it seems that I can be less destructive.

What type of self-improvement have you been engaging in recently?

4 responses

  1. silverneurotic

    My fiance is really bad at following through on stuff that I ask him to do. I’m really trying hard to keep on top of him and remind him to get that stuff done…without getting totally frustrated with him.

    Its a work in progress.

    March 6, 2012 at 19:53

    • You all have been together way longer than the husband and I have, so I have no insight as to when this behavior will improve. It seems that being married has had a good effect on the husband’s follow through. A noticeable improvement is about as much as I could hope for.

      March 6, 2012 at 23:30

  2. Your husband sounds awesome. 🙂 And I think it’s great that you still tell him things; that’s the way it should be.

    March 7, 2012 at 01:10

    • I will pass on the message. He likes it when people think he’s awesome. 🙂

      March 10, 2012 at 02:08