Musings of a Chicago-Born New Yorker

How To Prove You’re An Asshole

Step 1. Say really mean things about someone else.

Step 2. Realize you’ve made others really really upset and devise a plan.

Step 3. Apologize, but only half-heartedly and only for one tiny part of what you said.

Step 4. Accuse others of being too sensitive and defend your actions before your apology has even settled.


If you have been following current events, you know what I’m talking about. One asshole in particular, Rush Limbaugh has been a bad bad man. He’s been worse than usual. After the Republicans wouldn’t let any women testify about the rule that employers have to provide contraceptive coverage in their insurance packages, the Democrats brought in their own people.

One person they brought in was law student Sandra Fluke. She’s a very nice lady who had very sound argument in support of coverage. But Rush, never to debate someone on the issues, began attacking her. For three days straight, he called her a slut and a prostitute.

He lambasted her for the large amount of sex she has to be having, saying there are men lined up around the block. He said he’s her pimp since he’s responsible for getting her so much sex through his taxpayer dollars. He requested that if they’re paying for her to have all this sex, she repay them by posting videos of this sex online.

His apology (after he lost several advertisers) was only for calling her a slut and a prostitute, not for anything else he said over 9 hours of radio show. There are so many things wrong with what he said. Sigh. Where to begin?

Idiot Correction #1: you don’t need a new birth control pill every time you have sex. It’s not like some disposable diaphragm or whatever else you conjure up, ridiculous man. One pill per day, no more. Plus she’s a law student. There’s no way she has time to have that much sex and still be in law school.

Idiot Correction #2: Taxpayers don’t pay for birth control. You’d have to play 6 degrees of separation or more to find a way from insurance company subsidies over to the coverage for contraception. And like John Stewart said, taxpayers don’t get a say for where their money goes. If they did, liberals would’ve been able to opt out of the Iraq War.

Idiot Correction #3: What is up anyway with this assault on sex? Men have had Viagra covered for 15 years under most insurance plans. How is the pill any different? Believe me, Rick Santorum, the men taking these pills aren’t doing it just to procreate. Not when these pills are selling by the millions to mostly white people, who have the lowest birth rate in the country.

Idiot Correction #4: Most women age 15-44 have used contraception at some point. for the sexually active ones, it’s up to 99%. 99%. 99%. It’s an irrefutable fact that this is essential to women’s health. Whether it’s to choose when to procreate or to manage acne or ovarian cysts, it’s important. Married women, sick women, just women who want a predictable cycle (why I started using the pill back in the day) all use the pill. It is not exclusively for sluts.

Idiot Correction #5: If you want to make a point, make it. If your only point to make is a personal attack, that’s no point at all. Keep it to yourself. Your mother never conveyed it to you Rush Limbaugh, or perhaps you didn’t listen when she did. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Stop being such as ass.

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