Musings of a Chicago-Born New Yorker

Double Dating

I used to be against double dating. But now that I’m with the husband, we’re part of this couple that really just thrives in the presence of other couples. So we do a bunch of double dating.

There are a number of our friends who are in relationships that we’ve never been on a double date with, but that has more to do with timing and lack of opportunity than anything else.

But the couples we have been able to spend time with are all unique. There’s the couple who’s wedding we met at. They’re so much fun, but they take extra planning. In an effort to avoid… issues… with tipping at the end of the night, we pick a place where we can gauge what the total cost of the meal will be. Then we tell them about 10% over what their share would be is what they should bring to pay for dinner.

Then we invite them over before dinner for drinks at the house and just happen to have appetizers. Then we go to dinner, they don’t eat or drink as much, and their portion of the bill ends up being less than what they expected. We don’t even let them see the bill, and they don’t ask because they’re forking over less than they thought they would. Voilà, bill paid with at least a 15% tip. If they knew we had tricked them to into being reasonable tippers, they might be upset. But it’s worth the trickery because we love spending time with them.

There’s this other couple who we know because they guy and I are great friends. There’s no big connection between us two couples, but it pretty much seems the only way we’ll hang out is with our significant others. Unfortunately, we have terrible timing. Everytime we go out with them, the husband and I are in a fight. Every time. Makes for less-than-stellar hangs.

But we do add alcohol to the mix. With us, that helps because the husband and I are both happy drunks. So brunch with unlimited mimosas is our sweet spot with this couple.

There’s this other couple with whom we have the most in common. The husband and the guy in that couple are both musicians. Everybody but me teaches. We’re all interested in art. And we definitely have the same adventurous spirit when it comes to food. I just think we might be too wild or loud or something for them. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I think maybe our laughter is too loud…?

We had what was an amazing first (double) date with them, and then we haven’t been able to find time to hang out since. I feel like a chick after a first date wondering why we haven’t been able to hook up since. It’s slightly amusing that dating other couples just feels like dating. But it really does feel that way sometimes.

The husband and I have too many friends to be like a sitcom couple that hangs with the same five people all day every day, but if we did, it’d be so hard to pick our couples. I guess we’re on the search for our perfect couple soul mates.

They’d love trying new restaurants. They’d love live music so we could go to the husband’s gigs. They’d love shopping, yoga, and just hanging at the house playing spades, monopoly, or watching me cook. They’d like road trips and travelling in general. They’d be good looking and likely to have pretty kids so I don’t accidentally end up with odd-looking grandchildren (yeah, I just went there). They’d be smart and witty and full of personality. And they’d have a stable relationship with each other that wasn’t always devolving into some major drama.

Will we ever find the perfect couple? And if we did, would it mean we’d have to stop spending time with all the others? Frankly, I’m just happy I still get to date as a married woman.

4 responses

  1. free penny press

    Good gracious I have not been on a double date in years.. Hmm, might have to change that..
    Love how you solve the dilemma of the “under-tippers”.. smart girl!!!

    March 19, 2012 at 18:03

    • Shhh, don’t spread the word, they may try to reverse it to keep us from tipping too much!

      March 21, 2012 at 18:14

  2. silverneurotic

    I’ve only tried double dating once…and that ended up with me and my friend’s date getting together not too long after (with her supposed blessing). I tried to get her to go out with my date (I still think they’d make a sweet couple) but they wouldn’t fall for my matchmaking attempts. Boo.

    My last one involved the fiance and my brother and his girlfriend (or ex girlfriend, or baby’s mama or whatever the hell she is now). That was fun.

    March 20, 2012 at 10:46

    • Yikes! I wonder what it would be like to double date with my brother and his “fiancee”. That would make for an interesting blog post, I’m sure.

      March 21, 2012 at 18:15