Musings of a Chicago-Born New Yorker

Grocery Shopping At Walmart

In an effort to make sure I was sleep deprived this past weekend, my father and the husband conspired. I took care of Friday because I was on a day schedule because I was off. So I only had a couple hours of sleep before work. Saturday my father needed to borrow my car to go buy a 10′ ladder, and it turned into a 3 hr trip which meant 3 less hours of sleep for me.

Sunday, the husband requested that I go grocery shopping. I knew if I got on the road after work at 7:00 am, I wasn’t getting off the expressway to go get groceries. So I went to the Wal-Mart right up the street from my job and right next to the expressway.

I was prepared, y’all. I had a fancy looking list template I had made on Microsoft Word. I had planned out a week’s menu based on my work schedule and the husband’s gig/rehearsal schedule. I was feeling all home-maker-ish.

Upon walking into Wal-Mart, I immediately picked the worst cart. Of course, by the time I noticed that it didn’t want to move backward or turn left, I was so far from the cart locations. I decided I had gone too far and would just suffer while only making right turns through the grocery section.

I made a stop-off in the toiletry section to buy the add-ons the husband requested and made my way to the groceries. My list was in perfect order for my menu. But it was not in perfect order for the organization of a grocery section. It took me almost til the end of my trip to realize that I should have just walked up and down the aisle, marking off my list as I came across items. Going on by one meant I visited Aisle 8 three times. So inefficient.

Then the husband called because he was missing me and wondering when I would be home. I reminded him that he sent me shopping and therefore couldn’t complain. He reminded me he’s the only emotional grown-up in our relationship and it was totally okay that he was actually looking forward to seeing me in the near future. All of this conversation happened while I was trying to navigate the store with this ridiculous cart.

My mood improved once I saw my favorite brand of affordable Riesling for the cheapest price I’d ever seen outside of Binny’s Beverage Depot. I grabbed two bottles, and realized I only had one more thing on my list. I got that and headed for the checkout counter.

Then it hit me, it was barely 8:00 am on a Sunday in a Wal-Mart in the suburbs. That meant a special kind of hell known as Only One Checkout Counter Open. So I rolled up with no less than 40 items in my cart, feeling terrible. While the lady was scanning my items, people came up, saw my cart, looked depressed, and walked away. I felt especially bad for the woman with only a big ass box of Huggies who had no experience using the self checkout. I’m sure she hates me.

The checkout lady put my wine to the side and finished everything else. Then she called over the manager. The manager got my ID to scan the wine. The computer gave an ominous beep. Then they informed me that I would not be purchasing wine. It was before 10:00 am on a Sunday and so I would have to wait.

I uttered, “what the hell?!” and just took my other bags and left. I hate alcohol rules. What is the point of reducing the times people can buy alcohol? Do they really think it’s making people drink less? Instead, I’ll just buy my wine elsewhere. I really did love that price though.

So I headed home with groceries enough for four people (we like to eat) for the week but no wine. All in all, not a terrible trip. Not to self: Do not go shopping on a Sunday next time.

8 responses

  1. Sounds like it went pretty well. You could have been the person behind YOU, lol.

    March 21, 2012 at 10:48

    • Lol, yeah, and then I would’ve been the model citizen and exhibited much patience and very little long-suffering.

      March 21, 2012 at 18:16

  2. silverneurotic

    You can’t buy booze anywhere in NJ except the liquor store. When the fiance came, he walked around Walmart completely amazed by this fact. Very comical.

    March 21, 2012 at 17:30

    • That sucks! I would be completely amazed too. Tell me that you all are going to be living in NYC when you’re married.

      March 21, 2012 at 18:18

      • silverneurotic

        Nope, the Catskills Mountains. 2.5 hours from the city. S.D. is a country boy!

        March 21, 2012 at 18:42

        • Do they sell alcohol in the Walmart there? Poor S.D. if they don’t.

          March 21, 2012 at 19:12

        • silverneurotic

          There isn’t a walmart. But S.D. works in a wineshop so the need is moot.

          March 21, 2012 at 19:15

        • Nice! That’s the best way ever to solve a problem.

          March 21, 2012 at 19:34