Musings of a Chicago-Born New Yorker

His And Hers: At The Doctor

The husband and I can make a group activity out of anything it seems. He wanted to me to make an appointment for him to go to the doctor once I added him to my insurance. I decided to go with him because it was a family doctor and the guy would be a doctor for both of us.

I never thought I’d be in one of those relationships where I had to go to the doctor with my husband so he didn’t leave anything out, but whatever, that was where I was. Plus my birth control pill prescription was about to run out and I knew a family medicine doctor could give me an updated prescription without me having to bug my lady parts doctor.

So there we were at the doctor’s office, as a couple. There were lots of hijinks with the front office. My husband’s insurance card hadn’t come yet and my insurance card and ID said something different that the name associated with my SSN. I haven’t got all my documents changed over yet, it’s a process you know?

When we got the paperwork sorted out, we sat to wait for our appointment. The nurse asked if we wanted to see the doctor together or apart. I said together, the husband said apart. He was just joking, but the nurse looked confused.

Then a series of jokes about what we had to hide ensued. Then we started joking about how we’ll turn anything into a double date. The nurse was very nice, but she didn’t seem charmed by us at all. I kind of love how, as a couple, we tend to draw people into our wackiness and jokes. But this nurse wasn’t going.

Finally, when she was taking our medical history, she jumped on the bandwagon. Trying to figure out how much we drank started a bonding session in which we all admitted to wishing we had a drink right at that moment. The husband and I will go through a bottle of wine or half a bottle of vodka in one night, but then that will be all we drink in a two week period. Other times, we’ll have half a glass of wine three days straight.

After quantifying how much we drank, and patting ourselves on the back for having absolutely nothing else wrong with us health-wise, the doctor came in. He dealt with the issue with the husband’s eye. If you remember, he had an eye infection a couple weeks back. There’s still some inflammation that’s there that’s unrelated to the infection that the doctor told us how to deal with.

Then he dealt with me and my prescription. He had the Android tablet thingee that he used to electronically send my prescription to the Walgreens by my house. The husband and I agreed we were both impressed, then our doctor joked that we must be easily impressed and therefore he wasn’t impressed. Ouch.

The whole thing took just over an hour. I may never go to the doctor alone again. They moved quicker because they had two people to work with and we got done together in 1 hr what would’ve taken 2 hrs separately. He gave the husband a recommendation for a nutritionist (which just means more work for me), and both of us instructions to go get a routine blood test to check adult things like diabetes and hypertension.

They kept calling us Mr. & Mrs. [insert last name here]. It was so crazy, since we don’t get called that a lot. I’m still not quite used to it. I use my new last name at work hundreds of times each shift, but never had it been used with him. The last time we were called that was at our wedding. It was nice. We’ll have to do more couples’ stuff with strangers so we get called that again.

I wonder what we’ll turn into a double date next.

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