Musings of a Chicago-Born New Yorker

Do You Miss Being Single?

Since the husband reads my blog, I will answer this question before moving on. NO, I DON’T MISS BEING SINGLE.

I just wonder if people do. When people ask how I like being married, I feel so closely watched. It’s like they’re looking to catch me in a lie, or they want to read between the lines. When I respond, “it’s great,” matter-of-factly, that’s never good enough.

It’s even worse when I say, “it’s the same as before we got married.” But it really is. The husband and I decided we were going to get married right around7-8 months from the day we met. It was 3-4 months from when we started exclusively dating. And if I remember correctly, it was either right before or right after we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend.

The way it happened was this: It was Mardi Gras 2011. We were in St. Louis, having an amazing time.

Me: This is so amazing. We have to spend Mardi Gras together next year. I don’t care if it’s in Chicago, St. Louis, or New Orleans. Just promise me we’ll have this much fun together next year.

Him: Of course. I’m mean, hell, we’ll probably be married by then anyway.

Me: Um, that’s like a year away.

Him: I know.

Me: Okay, you’re drunk.

Him: So are you. What’s your point?

Me: You do know that if we are married by Mardi Gras of next year that means we’d need at least 6 months to plan the big ass wedding we’ll unfortunately have to have to accommodate your big ass family. In fact, we may need 9 months. At least. That would mean you’d be proposing by your birthday this year. I don’t think you’re thinking about what you’re saying.

Him: Propose by my birthday. Got it.

Me: You’re drunk.

Him: Yeah, but you know it’s a good idea. This is the plan now. Are we ordering dessert?

That’s basically how it happened. Most of our major relationship decisions have been made while drunk on the holidays. When we met, when we started dating, when we got engaged, etc. And I wouldn’t change anything about it.

So when people ask do I miss being single, hell no I don’t. I haven’t felt like a completely unattached girl for almost five times as long as I’ve been married.

I still do everything I was doing before I got in this relationship. Some things I do more now than before. I think kids will make me miss being single before the husband ever will, ha ha.

I’m just speaking about my experience though. For you people out there who are married, engaged, or heavily attached, do you miss being single?

13 responses

  1. serenityluv1

    I was married for a long time and then divorced. I been living alone for over 4 years now and quite frankly, I miss having a husband. When I was married I went through a spell where I missed being married but only when I was mad at him.! LOL

    July 15, 2012 at 06:19

  2. serenityluv1

    Typo** I meant when I was married I missed being single!

    July 15, 2012 at 06:20

    • Interesting. I recommend you write a post about these feelings. I’d love to read it.

      July 17, 2012 at 23:14

      • serenityluv1

        Good Idea! I think I will.

        July 19, 2012 at 05:01

  3. Surviving the Storm - Walking on a Rainbow

    I love your relationship with your husband. It’s so sweet.

    I don’t miss being single, but in the past I have found myself missing some of the aspects of being single. The older I’ve gotten, the less I miss those as well.
    I used to enjoy flirting with men, being pursued and romanced, and the first kiss stuff. But being lonely far outweighs the need for those things.

    July 17, 2012 at 12:00

    • Used to enjoy? Maybe it’s a newlywed thing, but there’s still flirting going on. The husband is kind of a flirt and so am I. We don’t really do the jealous thing, which helps, ha ha.
      I’ve had 5 amazing first kisses in my life, I think I’m good on even wanting more. Most of them weren’t so hot. I just feel lucky one of my first amazing kisses was with the husband.
      Usually when I’m being pursued, it’s because someone f-ed up. So I could do without the pursuing as well.
      But I’ll never give up romance. As long as candle shops, Victoria’s Secret, and picnic basket makers exist, there will be romance in my life.

      July 17, 2012 at 23:29

      • Surviving the Storm - Walking on a Rainbow

        LOL at being pursued by f-ed up people. I hear you there!
        My hubby’s great-no jealousy, no raising hell with me about anything, in fact he very rarely gets mad at anything. And though he’s not very romantic, he says some pretty swoon worthy stuff ocassionally, so it’s all good. And I have to agree, the best first kiss was with hubby.

        July 18, 2012 at 08:26

        • If the husband makes you swoon, I’d say you’re all good.

          July 19, 2012 at 21:26

  4. As you can tell, I’m playing catch up. I haven’t blogged or read any blogs since the new year! LOL I for one don’t miss being single AT ALL! I have an amazing husband who reminds me so much of the man my father was before he passed away and that’s pretty remarkable! I hear of all the drama out there and since I’ve been out of the game for nearly 20 years, I’m good! We are still honeymooning, dating and courting. We still know how to have fun with each other and that’s enough for me! Marriage is wonderful and what you make it. They can keep the single life. I’ll pass! LOL

    July 20, 2012 at 14:26

    • 20 years! Goodness you look so young in your picture, I thought you were close to my age. I hope I’m saying what you are in 20 years.

      July 23, 2012 at 22:15

      • LOL I’ll be 38 August 20th! I met my husband at 18 and we married when I was 20. He’s six years older than me. Just keep the lines of communication open and be honest with each other and you will. Those are just two little nuggets for ya! LOL

        July 26, 2012 at 18:51

        • 38, wow, still waay older than I would’ve though.
          My husband is all about trust, communication, and honesty. Those are his big three he told me when we first considered dating each other.

          July 28, 2012 at 00:01

        • And those are 3 great foundations for your marriage!!! It’s not always easy but it is possible to have all that!

          July 31, 2012 at 12:44