Musings of a Chicago-Born New Yorker

Digging Deep To Find The Motivation

A few days ago, I was all set to write this post about how my good intentions had come to naught. But as I started, I looked at the clock and took note of the time. Sure, I hadn’t come home from work and changed right into my workout clothes to work out. But I had woken up with about two hours before the husband was coming to pick me up for our night out in the city. With those two hours I could either write a blog post and then get ready. Or I could workout and then get ready.

I honestly don’t know where I got the sudden motivation, but I put on my workout clothes and went to get my iPod, but I couldn’t find it. After 10 minutes, I gave up and decided to just work out without it. I hate working out without my iPod because all I have to listen to is the music on Tracy Anderson’s DVD. I don’t know how it works for some people, but feeling like I’m in the middle of a rave doesn’t make me want to work out, it makes me want to back away slowly and go hide.

Even with the music, I managed to get through the workout. I’m so proud of myself that I got back on the exercise bandwagon. I thought it might not happen. And now for a “this is going to sound f-ed up” warning. I honestly have a new compassion for fat people, which I never had before.

Over the years, I’ve gone from a tiny person to a regular-sized-but-short person to an overweight-but-still-short person. Over that time, I’ve always felt that getting healthy was just a matter of eating right and exercising. This is where my lack of compassion for fat people comes in. I honestly felt like all you had to do was get off the damn couch, and things would improve. I did hold a special exemption for health problems that attack one’s ability to workout/lose weight like myasthenia gravis, polycystic ovaries, etc.

Since working out wasn’t ever hard for me, my lack of compassion continued. I was either younger with more energy or unemployed with plenty of time. But now, I have learned my lesson. I’ve learned my lesson with a vengeance. I have a husband I spend a good amount of time taking care of, a full-time job, family responsibilities, etc., and it’s so hard to find the time. And even when I have the time, it’s hard to find the energy.

I know how extra weight tends to drain your energy, making it even harder to get up and motivated. Motivation is really the only way to keep going. Some days you just aren’t feeling it. Or maybe you start to see results so you think you can let off the gas a little. Whatever the specific reason, I can now name several why staying healthy is not simply a matter of getting off the couch. I know how easy it is to slip out of the exercise habit. I still maintain that being healthy is a real priority in life, but I officially have more compassion for those people who can’t find it in themselves to get started or to keep going.

2 responses

  1. silverneurotic

    Both my parents and now my sister is overweight. My Mom even tried weightloss surgery…worked for a few years but she ended up gaining a lot of it back. I know how hard it can be to find time (and motivation) to move around when you are busy working full time, dealing with a family, etc.

    August 27, 2012 at 11:45

    • And now I know too. Seeing the results of the work and feeling so proud of myself isn’t even enough motivation sometimes. It’s just hard, and it takes more than a notion to just decide you’re going to lose weight. It takes planning, perseverance, support, and a whole bunch of other things most people don’t even have the time to put together, let alone maintain for months and years.

      August 27, 2012 at 19:37