Adventures of a Midwest Transplant

Being Addicted, But You Know, In A Good Way

Have you any addictions? Of course you do. If your addiction is cocaine or sex or re-runs of The Jersey Shore, please keep that to yourself. Oh, and seek help.

I’m here to talk about addictions that are less horrifying. Really, they are more like vices. Like Hostess cupcakes (may they rest in peace) or a less horrid TV show (like the Walking Dead). My addictions are: salt and vinegar chips, most primetime TV, painting my nails, and this stupid game called Monster Park.

Let’s talk about the chips first. Since I first had teeth, I’ve been all for crunchy foods. Pickles, apples, raw veggies, potato chips, or whatever else I could get my hands on were my preference to mushy foods. I’m not a fan of salt in high quantities, but I love me some acidity. It’s gotten to the point where I can’t even get a sandwich from Potbelly’s without getting two, that’s right two, bags of chips of the Zappo’s salt and vinegar chips. It’s really the large amount of unhealthy things, i.e., calories, fat, salt, that I’m ingesting that’s the concern. Maybe I’ll switch to baked potato fries with malt vinegar. That’s kind of the same thing, right?

Then there is primetime TV. I had a day off last week and spent the entire daytime catching up on episodes of all my shows on Hulu Plus. The husband, who really wanted to play video games, was judging the large number of shows I watch. I don’t mean to watch so many, but I get hooked. Each fall and summer, I look at the upcoming premiers. I assess if I really want to keep watching renewed shows. I assess which new shows I’ll give a chance, and I assess which old shows I may want to give a second chance. The number adds up. Right now, I’m currently following 32 shows on Sidereel. That’s not including shows like Rachel Maddow, Bill Maher, Stephen Colbert, or The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. So really, it’s more like upwards of 35… Is that a lot…?

The good news is I don’t spend every night glued to the TV because I’m usually just coming home from work during primetime. Also, some of those shows are midseason replacements or their seasons are split between summer and fall. So it’s really on half that at any one time. Still, it’s an addiction that doesn’t seem to be getting any better.

Painting my nails became an addiction while I was engaged. Turns out the husband likes long nails, so I grew them. I don’t like acrylics, and I wanted to have my own longer nails for the wedding. And since then, we’ve discovered a love of all different nail polish colors. That’s right, we. The husband is an enabler in this addiction. He hasn’t gone so far as to buy me nail polish, but he oohs and aahs over new colors, making me want even more. If my polish gets chipped too soon, I have to force myself not to immediately repaint my nails. I know it’s not healthy to do it too often, so I try not to do it more than once a week. I always fail. But that’s why I invested in a slightly costly nail protein base coat that helps strengthen my nails. Ah, the things we do for vanity. And color. And pleasing the husband. And color.

Lastly, there is this stupid game called Monster Park. It’s an app on my Samsung Galazy S3 that I downloaded on a whim, and have been addicted to ever since. You breed these monsters, and collect crystals to feed them, and expand your park to house them, and get silver and make more and buy decorations and all this other crap. It’s one of the most useless games ever, but I love it. I frequently visit the Monster Park Fan website to make sure I’m using the right monter combo in breeding the right baby monster. I literally open and play this game 15-30 times a day. It sucks you in and the next thing you know, you’re on a forum debating whether you’d prefer a Republephant or a Donkeycrat first. It’s just insanity. And it only makes sense if you’ve actually encountered it. See what I mean?

This is just one view of the Monster Park. Looks complicated yet pointless, right?

My addictions are not really so terrible. So maybe I spend too much time watching television. So maybe I spend too much time painting my nails. And maybe I eat to many potato chips. And maybe Monster Park is taking over all my free time. But is that really so bad?

Yeah, I sound like an addict. My only hope is for the next lineup of shows to all suck. And for baked chips to taste amazing. And for someone to create a no chip polish that really works.

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