Musings of a Chicago-Born New Yorker

Why Is Balance So Hard?

My feet are tiny and I sometimes fall over for no reason at all.

I’m such a classic Libra and I inevitably swing from one extreme to the next in my search for balance.

I can’t decide for certain if I hate or love my new job duties.

And don’t even get me started on the trouble I’ve been having with trying to balance the way I spend my time.

It’s just so hard. And everything pulls me in different directions. And no one seems to care that at the end of the day, I feel like an elastic waistband after a pregnant-with-twins-during-Thanksgiving dinner. I know I’m being dramatic. Just give me a moment and I’ll stop with the incessant self-pity.

Give me another moment.

Okay, so here’s what happened. Once I realized I only had to come into work two days this week, I got super excited. I figured I’d spend time with the husband, sleep a whole lot, play the Sims 3 until my eyeballs got tired, and hang with my girls.

That last one, hang with my girls, was important to me. I honestly can’t even remember the last time I’ve seen one of my bridesmaids. I honestly think it was sometime before Thanksgiving. It’s just shameful because we live in the same city (well, most of us do).

I groaned at the husband about how lucky he is because he has it all. I mean, that man has it ALL. He has a career he loves with flexible work hours. His money concerns apply only to disposable income because he makes enough to cover all the bills. He gets to hang out with his friends all the time pretty much whenever he wants. He has the time to dedicate to his family so they never feel neglected. He’s always feeding his video game addiction.

I will admit that I do have some of those things. I’ve got the same bills thankfully paid that the husband does. And I do indulge in my fair share of video games. But after work, time with the husband, and a smidge of time with family, I’ve got nothing left.

I’m jealous in a way that makes me want to steal all the husband’s left gloves. Nothing is more annoying than getting ready to head out into the cold and you only have one glove. I’d hide around a corner and chuckle to myself at my sweet sweet revenge.

I jest, I jest. I don’t begrudge the husband his lovely life. I just wish mine were a bit more lovely. I miss my girls. And this weekend was going to be my time to hang with them. We didn’t have concrete plans, we were tentatively planning something fun.

And then, dunh dunh dunh. Something came up. One of the husband’s sisters is having a birthday. And with her birthday comes a birthday dinner. That’s Friday night. I don’t miss family birthday celebrations, so of course I’ll be there. Also, the husband has the alumni dinner thing on Saturday night being thrown by a college professor of his. I fully support my husband’s musicaleducationalness, so of course I’ll be there.

There goes my weekend. Perhaps I can get my girls together for a fun Saturday brunch. We’ve joked about brunch, but never done it. Seems to be more of a date or double date kind of activity, but perhaps it can work for a group of girlfriends.

Or maybe we can hang out Sunday after church, since we all go to the same church. And by go to the same church, I mean we’re all members, but not enough of us show up regularly so we all ought to be collectively ashamed of ourselves. I can blame work and sleep and all that, but really I’m just a heathen. I need to do better. And I’ll start with church this Sunday. As long as the husband and I aren’t out too late Saturday night.

If you’re following this rambling stream of consciousness, then you can probably see why balance is so difficult for me. If I’m juggling 5 balls, I simply must add 5 more to balance things out. And then I remember 2 more balls that are actually really important to me as well, and the next thing you know I’ve got a dozen balls in my hands, threatening to hit the floor (that’s what she said. Well, that’s what she said if she’s a huge slut. Twelve balls?! Really?!).

Also at some point this weekend, I need to sleep. I need to cook for the husband. I need to workout. I need to do several other things that I simply don’t have time for. How do other busy people do it? You know, those assholes who never look like they got too little sleep or too much caffeine? Those people make me want to turn stalker mode so I can figure out their secret.

And now that I’ve accomlished the balancing task #6 of publishing another blog post, I’ll return to other balls. Tonight, I must workout and I must sleep. I almost said cook, but then I realized that was never gonna happen. It’s already 8:00pm. I’ll be lucky if I manage to eat anything for dinner tonight. Accidental weight loss, here I come!

Any tips of maintaining balance?

No? I figured.

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