Adventures of a Midwest Transplant

Always The Best Man, Never The Groom

First I must say, this title is misleading. One of my best friends is often a best man, but I seriously doubt he’s itching to be a groom. I just picked this title because I thought it might catch your attention.

I wrote a post about six months ago about one of my best friend’s and his best man speech at our friend’s wedding. This coming fall, there is another wedding.

He was also my best man at my wedding.

The good news is that after this wedding, he’s out of best friends. I got married in 2012, the second one in 2013, now this last one in 2014. He will probably be the best man for his big brother whenever he marries, but then he’s done.

I have admit, I’m kind of jealous. The last wedding I was in besides my own was when I was a flower girl back in 1992.

I had 10 people standing up with me at my wedding. One of the guy’s has since married, and one of the guys has since divorced. All of the women are still unmarried.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in any rush for my friends to get married, nor am I in any rush to pay hundreds of dollars for someone else’s big day. But still, it would be fun to get all dolled up and bake a penis-shaped cake for one of my girls, not at the same time of course.

Instead, I live vicariously through my friend. I do get a kick out of planning out his best man speeches with him.

Because his two other best friends chose fall dates for their weddings, we get to make the speech planning and all-year thing.

It reminds me of when we worked together on projects in college and I love it.

We have hours-long debates about the correct balance of emotional vs. funny. We pick out which are the best stories to tell. Then we hem and haw about the order of the speech (is chronological always best?).

His speech at my wedding was lovely. People didn’t really pay attention because everyone got notifications on their smart phones that Whitney Houston had just died. But he covered all the main points I’d want: 1) good luck Easy in dealing with her “strong” personality, 2) A crazy story or two from back in the day that is embarrassing for her, but also kind of sweet, and 3) a good joke that feels like an inside joke but makes everyone laugh.

As I already said in my previous post, he did a great job with his other best friend’s wedding last fall.

This time, his job is a bit more difficult. The basis of his friendship with this friend is because they were on the same line of a fraternity.

Sidenote: this fraternity throws the best part ever, but Easy and I aren’t going to the party this year because Florida. We’re black and we’d prefer to stay alive. Florida is feeling a little murder-y right now for folks of color you know?

Anyway, because their friendship started in the secrecy of pledging a fraternity, there’s a whole bunch of stuff he can’t say during the speech. They pledged almost ten years ago though, so there is plenty to say about their friendship since that time.

This one is going to be a bit more difficult than the last two though. Easy and I spent a a good amount of time with my friend when Easy lived down in St. Louis. And he never talked to his other friend on the phone without also talking to wife too.

But my friend doesn’t really know this couple too well as a couple. He was down in Texas visiting them last weekend, so hopefully he stored up some great stories for this speech.

My friend is a best man veteran though, so he’ll make it work. And because none of my girls are headed towards marriage any time soon, I’ll continue to live vicariously through him.

At the wedding last fall, I was hanging with the bride’s friends the day before the wedding. It was fun, but I didn’t know anyone that well, so there was a limit on how much fun I could have.

This fall, things will be better. The groom has decided he wants a co-ed bachelor party. It won’t be like mine, which was combined with all of my friends and Easy’s friends (his idea, not mine, but still so much fun). It will be more like, all his friends, male and female, are going to his party.

It’s a really cool concept, I think. It felt a bit like being sent to the kid’s table when I have to go hang out with the women even though I’m only friends with the men.

This fall, I’ll be at the big kids table (or strip club), then watching the finale of a great trio of best man speeches. Should be fun, don’t you think?

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