Musings of a Chicago-Born New Yorker

Television

Finding Myself In Television Shows

Am I the only one who looks at a good deal of my life through a Sex and the City lens? I think if you fall in a certain age range (pretty much anyone born between 1970-2000), there’s a good chance this show occupies a corner of your life. Maybe you were an adult when it came out and watched it as it mirrored your life. Maybe you discovered it because your mother/sister/college roommate was obsessed and insisted you’d love it too. Maybe you stumbled across it like I did, back when Netflix DVDs were still a new and amazing facet of life.

In case you hadn’t heard, last week was the 20th anniversary of the premier of the show. Since I loved it so much in college, I’ve been doing a deep dive. I read old Sex & the City columns for the first time. I read a young Cosmo’s writer take on “living like Carrie.” And I read think pieces arguing about how groundbreaking it was, how it lacked diversity, etc., etc..

I think time has done Samantha well. People appreciate her sex positivity. They love that she didn’t give a damn what anyone thought of her. I think time has been less friendly to Carrie. Look at what came up when I googled “Carrie Bradshaw was trash.”

I didn’t come up with this idea on my own. An article all about it popped up on my google feed not too long ago. You can read it for yourself here.

As much as I wanted to binge-watch the entire series over in celebration of the 20th anniversary, it ain’t gonna happen. I’m not putting myself back in the frame of mind that made me grateful for the diversity crumb that saw Jennifer Hudson cast in the SATC movie. No thank you. I’d rather wait for the next season of Insecure to premier (August 12th!!).

But still there’s this:

It’s a piece of “art” I bought on “the street” years ago. I think it was back during one of my first trips to NYC. I drove here, on a rather impromptu road trip with my girls, for an in-person job interview. My husband wanted to move to NYC, and so I wanted to make his dream a reality. I even have a picture of that evening in Times Square when I bought the picture that still hangs on the wall in my bedroom. Want to see it? Of course you do. I looked like I fell out off of a Forever 21 mannequin display and was proud of it. Perhaps the shades of lipstick I used to choose are the reason I was less confident in a bright red lip back then…

Well, the internet has me convinced I do NOT want to be a Carrie, haha. She was far too vanilla for me anyway. The heteronormativity and the barely hidden homo- and biphobia irritate me to no end. And the way she would have these moments of silence (read: silent judgement) whenever one of her friends’ stories got too extra was the worst. Besides, these four white women aren’t the only friendships shown on TV. There are plenty of others for me to figure out which archetype I am.

There’s Living Single:

There’s Girlfriends:

There’s Insecure:

I’m gonna figure out which one of those I am instead on continuing to fuss over SATC. Too bad there aren’t any handy quizzes out there to help me learn if I’m a Joan or a Maxine or an Issa. But wait! There is! Sort Of! Not for Living Single (does the show pre-date Buzzfeed? That’s prolly why), but there are quizzes for the other two.

This 8-Question Quiz Will Tell You Which “Insecure” Character You Are. This quiz covers all the characters, not just the women, but I’ll take what I can get.

Which “Living Single” Character Are You?. Same. All the characters.

Okay, I’mma go off for one quick second. See this is what the fuck I mean about intersectionality! Y’all so busy lumping us into the women category or the black category, there’s no space for black women. I’m looking for the space for just us, but nope, we gotta get in where we fit in. And Buzzfeed tells me that separating me from my brothers isn’t an option. Surprise, sur-fucking-prise. Whatever. Here’s my quiz results.

Nope, not giving you my quiz results yet. What the fuck is this question?!?!?!?!?!?!

Do I need to talk about how the only two options with white folks are “chic and sophisticated” and “preppy and minimalist”???? Really buzzfeed, y’all couldn’t find no black people on Getty Images to represent those styles?? This, ladies and gentleman, is what is referred to as a microaggression. Ugh, okay, back to my quiz results.

Trying not to be irritated by this intergender quiz because my results are actually quite spot on, lol. Whatever.


All Marvel Cinematic Universe Properties, In Order!

If you aren’t into comic books in general or the Marvel Cinematic Universe specifically, this post isn’t for you.

But if you consider yourself an outsized MCU fan and are interested in every single one of their properties, please, join me.

Have you ever asked yourself, “what order should I watch MCU properties in?” Or, “can I get a list of all the MCU properties in order?”

I did something last night. I spent a few hours organizing, in chronological order of release, every MCU property.

Now I know what you’re thinking. “Why didn’t you just google it?”

Yeah, I tried. And if you want to watch the MCU (all TV and film) in the order the events happened, I’d suggest you head on over to CNET’s post about it. CNET’s post is mostly up to date, as far as I can tell. And that’s because I’m assuming the first half of Season 5 of Agent’s of S.H.I.E.L.D. is taking place right where Season 4 left off, therefore it would be before the events of the Punisher. Oh, and it’s way more pleasing to the eye than what I’m about to post below.

But if you’re like me and for some crazy reason want to consume everything in the order it was released, I can help. I did a deep dive on Wikipedia, and as long as no trolls managed to edit the locked sections, we’re good. My list is better than Wiki though because I meshed the films, short films, TV shows, and comics together for your consumption. For the comics, the release dates I found online don’t always agree; also I focused on the comic’s (not the graphic novel’s) release date.

Why do I even care about seeing things in the release order? Well, Marvel is very meticulous about release dates. So I want to start from the beginning and take everything in the order they intended.

I warn you, this is a long ass list. I’ll name the property, then the release format, then the release date (for comics/tv episodes with multiple dates just the first release date is mentioned), and I’ll also name (when applicable) a link or release association.

Marvel Properties in Chronological Release Date Order

  • Iron Man, Film, May 2, 2008
  • The Incredible Hulk, Film, June 13, 2008
  • Iron Man: I Am Iron Man! (Issue #1-2), Comic, January 27, 2010.
  • Iron Man 2: Public Identity (Issue #1-2), Comic, April 28, 2010
  • Iron Man 2, Film, May 7, 2010
  • Iron Man 2: Public Identity (Issue #3), Comic, May 12, 2010
  • Iron Man 2: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (Single Issue), Comic, September 1, 2010
  • ****The MCU Wikia seems to think the following three comics are their own individual part of the MCU. However, the link for Iron Man 2: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. includes them all of you just keep going forward (and if you have Marvel Unlimited).
  • Captain America: First Vengeance (Issue #1-4), Comic, May 4, 2011
  • Thor, Movie, May 6, 2011
  • Captain America: First Vengeance (Issue #5-8), Comic, June 8, 2011
  • Captain America: The First Avenger, Movie, July 22, 2011
  • The Consultant, One-Shot, July 22, 2011, associated with released of Thor movie
  • A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Thor’s Hammer, One-Shot, October 25, 2011, associated with release of Captain America: The First Avenger Movie
  • The Avenger’s Prelude: Fury’s Big Week (Issue #1-8), Comic, March 7, 2012
  • The Avengers, Movie, May 4, 2012
  • The Avengers: Black Widow Strikes (Issue #1-3), Comic, May 12, 2012
  • Item 47, One-Shot, September 25, 2012, associated with the release of The Avengers
  • Iron Man 2 (Issue #1-2), Comic, November 7, 2012
  • Iron Man 3 Prelude (Issue #1-2), Comic, January 2, 2013
  • Thor (Issue #1-2), Comic, January 16, 2013
  • Iron Man 3, Movie, May 3, 2013
  • Thor: The Dark World Prelude (Issue #1-2), Comic, June 5, 2013
  • Agent Carter, One-Shot, September 3, 2013, associated with the release of Iron Man 3
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 1 Ep 1-6, TV (ABC), September 24, 2013
  • Thor: The Dark World, Movie, November 8, 2013
  • Captain America: The First Avenger (Issue #1), Comic, November 6, 2013
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 1 Ep 7-10, TV (ABC), November 12, 2013
  • Captain America: The First Avenger (Issue #2), Comic, December 11, 2013
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 1 Ep 11-12, TV (ABC), January 7, 2014
  • Captain America: The Winter Soldier infinite Comic (Single Issue), Comic, January 28, 2014
  • All Hail the King, One-Shot, February 4, 2014, associated with the release of Thor: The Dark World
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 1 Ep 13-16, TV (ABC), February 4, 2014
  • Guardians of the Galaxy Infinite Comic – Dangerous Prey (Single Issue), Comic, April 1, 2014
  • Guardians of the Galaxy Prelude (Issue #1), Comic, April 2, 2014
  • Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Movie, April 4, 2014
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 1 Ep 17-22, TV  (ABC), April 8, 2014
  • Guardians of the Galaxy Prelude (Issue #2), Comic, May 28, 2014
  • Guardians of the Galaxy, Movie, August 1, 2014
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 2 Ep 1-10, TV (ABC), September 23, 2014
  • The Avengers (Issue #1), Comic, December 24, 2014
  • Agent Carter Season 1, TV (ABC), January 6, 2015 
  • The Avengers (Issue #2), Comic, January 7, 2015
  • Avengers: Ague of Ultron Prelude: This Scepter’d Isle (Single Issue), Comic, February 3, 2015
  • Ant-Man Prelude (Issue #1), Comic, February 4, 2015
  • Ant-Man – Scott Lang: Small Time (Single Issue), Comic, March 3, 2015
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 2, Ep 11, TV (ABC), March 3, 2015
  • Ant-Man Prelude (Issue #2), Comic, March 4, 2015
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 2, Ep 12-16, TV (ABC), March 10, 2015
  • Daredevil Season 1, TV (Netflix), April 10, 2015
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 2 Ep 17-19, TV (ABC), April 14, 2015
  • Avengers: Age of Ultron, Movie, May 1, 2015
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 2 Ep 20-22, TV (ABC), May 5, 2015
  • WHIH Newsfront Season 1, Digital Series, July 2, 2015 
  • Ant-Man, Movie, July 17, 2015
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 3 Ep 1-2, TV (ABC), September 29, 2015
  • Jessica Jones (Single Issue), Comic, October 7, 2015
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 3 Ep 3-8, TV (ABC), October 13, 2015
  • Jessica Jones Season 1, TV (Netflix), November 20, 2015
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 3, Ep 9-10, TV (ABC), December 1, 2015
  • Captain America: Civil War Prelude (Issue #1-3), Comic, December 16, 2015
  • Agent Carter Season 2, TV (ABC), January 19, 2016
  • Captain America: Civil War Prelude (Issue #1-3), Comic, December 16, 2015
  • Captain America: Civil War Prelude (Issue #4), Comic, January 27, 2016
  • Captain America: Civil War Prelude Infinite Comic (Single Issue), Comic, February 10, 2016
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 3 Ep 11-17, TV (ABC), March 8, 2016
  • WHIH Newsfront Season 2, Digital Series, April 22, 2016
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 3 Ep 18-19, TV (ABC), April 26, 2016
  • Captain America: Civil War, Movie, May 6, 2016 
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 3 Ep 20-22, TV (ABC), May 10, 2016
  • Doctor Strange Prelude (Issue #1-2), Comic, July 6, 2016
  • Doctor Strange Prelude Infinite Comic – The Zealot (Single Issue), Comic, September 7, 2016
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 4 Ep 1-2, TV (ABC), September 20, 2016
  • Luke Cage Season 1, TV (Netflix), September 30, 2016
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 4 Ep 3-6, TV (ABC), October 11, 2016
  • Doctor Strange, Movie, November 4, 2016
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 4 Ep 7-8, TV (ABC), November 29, 2016
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Slingshot, Digital Series, December 13, 2016
  • Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol 2 Prelude (Issue #1-2), Comic, January 4, 2017
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 4 Ep 9-15, TV (ABC), January 10, 2017
  • Spider-Man: Homecoming Prelude (Issue #1), Comic, March 1, 2017
  • Iron Fist Season 1, TV (Netflix), March 17, 2017
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 4 Ep 16, TV (ABC), April 4, 2017
  • Spider-Man: Homecoming Prelude (Issue #2), Comic, April 5, 2017
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 4 Ep 17-20, TV (ABC), April 11, 2017
  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Movie, May 5, 2017
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 4 Ep 21-22, TV (ABC), May 9, 2017
  • Thor: Ragnarok Prelude (Issue #1), Comic, July 5, 2017
  • Spider-Man: Homecoming, Movie, July 7, 2017
  • Thor: Ragnarok Prelude (Issue #2-4), Comic, July 19, 2017
  • The Defenders, TV (Netflix), August 18, 2017
  • Inhumans Season 1 Ep 1-7, TV (ABC) September 29, 2017
  • Black Panther Prelude (Issue #1), Comic, October 18, 2017
  • Thor: Ragnarok, Movie, November 3, 2017
  • Inhumans Season 1 Ep 8, TV (ABC), November 10, 2017
  • Black Panther Prelude (Issue #2), Comic, November 15, 2017
  • The Punisher, TV(Netflix), November 17, 2017
  • Runaways, Season 1 Ep 1-4, TV (Hulu), November 21, 2017
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 5 Ep 1-8, TV (ABC), December 1, 2017
  • Runaways, Season 1 Ep 5-10, TV (Hulu), December 5, 2017
  • Avengers: Infinity War Prelude (Issue #1), Comic, January 24, 2018
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 5 Ep 9-10, TV (ABC), January 26, 2018
  • Black Panther, Movie, February 16, 2018
  • Avengers: Infinity War Prelude (Issue #2), Comic, February 28, 2018
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 5 Ep 11, TV (ABC), March 2, 2018
  • Ant-Man and the Wasp Prelude (Issue #1), Comic, March, 7, 2018
  • Jessica Jones Season 3, TV (Netflix), March 8, 2018
  • Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 5 Ep 12-14, TV (ABC), March 9, 2018
  • Ant-Man and the Wasp Prelude (Issue #2), Comic, April 2, 2018
  • Avengers: Infinity War, Movie, April 27, 2018
  • Ant-Man and the Wasp, Movie, July 6, 2018

I’m stopping here because I don’t have release dates after the first few episodes of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.. But I will continue to update this if 1) I remember and 2) I feel like it.

Also, let me know in the comments if something looks wonky, it’s hard to accurately edit a list of 90+ items.

 


Everything Is Awful! A Song That Definitely Wouldn’t Make The Oscars

If you have small children or great whimsy in your life, you know about the song Everything is Awesome. It was liked so much, it was used as one of the performances for the 2015 Academy Awards.

I think about this song because it mostly makes me feel happy/amused/smiley, but the song itself is represents a way to fool the masses into falling in line and distracting them so they don’t question authority. I wonder if a song about fighting the power would make it to the Oscars.

For the past several posts, there hasn’t been much happy in my life, and I know I’m not the only one who feels that way. I will say that the title of this post is hyperbole. Everything is not awful. Just a lot of things are.

So what awful thing am I talking about today?

I was walking in to work this morning, checking notifications that came up on my phone when I saw the news that Florence Henderson had died. This made me really sad; I immediately thought of her on Dancing with the Stars, and when she visited this past season for Maureen McCormick.

I will never get tired of seeing celebrities break out of their molds on this show.

I will never get tired of seeing celebrities break out of their molds on this show.

These days, I have very little patience for white-washed TV shows like the Brady Bunch. But this show came out before I was even born, so I was watching reruns on Nick at Nite as a child before I knew better.

I remember a holiday episode where she sang O Come All Ye Faithful, which for years I wrongly remembered as her singing O Holy Night. It’s an absolutely absurd plot, but I loved it. The kids contemplating cancelling Christmas because their mom couldn’t sing is likely a contributing factor to why I don’t want kids, lol.

I wonder about Florence Henderson’s political beliefs. Is that weird? I’m not sure if she’s on record having voiced an opinion about women’s rights or race relations or LGBTQ+ equality or the Dakota pipeline/Flint water crisis or any of today’s pressing issues that I care strongly about.

I’ve been keeping a running tally in my head for a few different lists:

  1. Wholly Against Us
  2. Suspiciously Quiet When It Matters
  3. Too Little Too Late
  4. Oh, Now You Wanna Speak Up When It Affects You and Yours
  5. I See You Making Efforts, But It’s Not Good Enough
  6. Social Media Warrior, Okay, Okay, But What Are Your Actions?
  7. I See You Speaking AND Acting, You’re Down for the Cause
  8. You Should Definitely Be Considered a Leader of the Movement
  9. It’s Like This Isn’t Even Happening In Your World

Florence would definitely go on list #9. Most people seem to speak highly of her, she was an amazing woman by all accounts. My perception of what makes a person amazing, however, is evolving. I don’t know that I can consider someone “amazing” who isn’t helping the fight for equality move forward.

Today is particularly rough at work too. A lot of the deaths we’re getting in are under suspicious circumstances, very sad, and hard for even the doctors and medical examiners to deal with.

I’ve got a lot of conflicted feelings. For instance, there’s this article in the NY Daily News: NY Daily News: Sorry, America, but ‘The Brady Bunch’ was a lousy show. The tweet for this article was even worse:

twitter-brady-bunch

 

It feels a bit disrespectful, no? It’s not so much the sentiment because I was basically just saying above how a show like this would do nothing but piss me off were they making new episodes today.

For me, it’s the language. “No disrespect…but..” I mean, come on. Only dedicated assholes say things like that. And yes, maybe the show does suck, and maybe that’s been this journalists opinion since he was a little kid. But to decide that today is the day he must share his opinion with the world is a bit tone deaf.

Florence Henderson spent a lot of time defending the show from critics with very real and accurate criticism of the bubble in which the show existed. So confronting her stance on the show is… I guess… fair game. Kinda like when you review someone’s legacy after death, it’s usually okay to point out the parts you specifically agree with.

But the article didn’t address anything she’d ever said about the show. It was just an opportunity to crap all over a show he clearly never liked. This was in poor taste.

I was genuinely sad at the news of her passing this morning, but I think focusing on it today is helping me cope with some personal issues, as well as the continued craptastic current events (Jill Stein getting hinky with the recount money, Dakota Access Pipeline injuries and assaults at the hands of police continuing, more black folks dead at the hands of hateful white people, more minorities assaulted by Trump supporters).

Seriously y’all, how fucking long until 2016 is over? I swear something moderately bad could happen 1/1/17 and I will be less bogged down by it that if it happens on New Year’s Eve.


Live Blogging My Way Through Election Day

00:09 EST

I have to work in the morning, I’m done for the night.

23:59 EST

Over at Trump headquarters in NYC, they are ecstatic. All I can think is there there is one black guy and one Hispanic guy in the room. Everyone else is white.

23:57 EST

Clinton headquarters in NYC is a grim place. Their faces look like how I feel. Stunned disbelief.

23:49 EST

That bottle of champagne is gonna be in my fridge for a long time. If she loses, I won’t have much to celebrate. 2016 really is the worst fucking year.

23:38 EST

She can’t lose another vote she was expected to win. Wisconsin, Michigan, New Hampshire, come on y’all.

23:31 EST

Evangelicals man… They don’t think a woman should be in charge. And misogyny, xenophobia, and racism won’t make them not vote for you… Good to know.

23:21 EST

Just took a nap helped by the food. This shit is not looking good. People are saying the polls having been properly polling the Rust Belt and that’s why they got it wrong.

It looks like Clinton is going to lose. This is so depressing.

21:55 EST

Clinton just pulled ahead in Virginia.

Whew!

Current heart rate according to my Gear Fit 2 is 87 bpm.

21:50 EST

Michigan, Ohio, North Carolina, Florida. these four states are KILLING me right now. she’s supposed to win three of the four.

The polling this cycle apparently sucked.

21:47 EST

I’m feeling a certain amount of despair. These vote counts remind me of 2008, when Obama was leading in many vote counts. His opponent never made up the numbers. Now I’ve got my fingers crossed hoping a miracle can be pulled off for Clinton.

Nate Silver, my statistics boo, still shows Clinton winning. I really hope he’s right.

I know people who chose not to vote today. They think no matter the outcome, they won’t do well. They weren’t thinking of the people of different groups who will NOT do well with a Trump presidency.

I can’t even right now.

21:32 EST

There are a lot of votes. CNN says are too early to call. But Trump has the lead in most of these states. This is so nerve-wracking. My two home states, New York and Illinois, did their part. The rest of the country is fucking up.

21:05 EST

Trump ahead in Florida and Ohio and North Carolina. I can’t.

20:45 EST

It didn’t even occur to me to watch these results somewhere other than my own home. Why would I? This is where all the good booze is. Plus, I don’t need pants here.

On CNN, they’re showing New Yorkers watching on a rooftoop. It looks like they’re at 230 Fifth. I don’t love that rooftop, but that gathering looks fun.

Nah, I’m happy to be on my couch, agonizing over Florida in the comfort of my own home.

20:43 EST

Clinton isn’t supposed to win Ohio. She is supposed to win Florida. Those vote totals so far are upside down right now. This is upsetting.

20:30 EST

South Carolina & Alabama to Trump. No surprises there. Tons of states are too close to call. It’s still early, I’m trying to remain calm.

20:28 EST

My husband is so drunk. He’s thinking he’s attracted to Dana Bash now, lol. I get it, she looks great tonight.

Ugh, Trump is still up in Florida. This is no bueno.

He’s also currently winning in the popular vote. Clinton is winning in the electoral college vote so far. I wish they wouldn’t mention states until all the votes are in–no I don’t. I’d be so impatient if they weren’t giving me regular updates.

20:14 EST

Now Trump is up by 700 votes in Florida. Ugh. This shit is too close.

20:11 EST

Most people think they can’t drink alcohol in any order. They would be wrong. You can’t drink excessively in any order. My husband doesn’t have the strongest stomach. But tonight, he started with beer, then he drank rum (and coke), now he’s drinking wine.

You too can drink in whatever order you’d like. As long as you have a chemist on your side guiding your way, lol.

Ugh, these results are coming in now Early voting in Florida is not making me happy. We’ll see what happen though because right now Clinton is in the lead. 86% is in. And Clinton is only ahead by 11,000 votes ahead.

This is some nailbiting shit…

20:07 EST

Clinton on track to win Florida… Lord please…

19:55 EST

Trump wins West Virginia, duh.

I’ve finished the Sancerre and the beer. On to Beaujolais. That is a wonderful wine I know about because of Wine School in the New York Times last year.

19:43 EST

Ohio’s Secretary of State says that they will start reporting results soon. Republicans don’t win the country without Ohio.

Conversely, they have won Ohio without winning the presidency.

I guess we’ll see which way this will go.

19:37 EST

Nate Silver (my statistics boo) thinks that Trump will easily win Vigo County, Indiana. He thinks their bellweather status is no more because of love for Trump.

I take back what I said about understanding angry white people.

19:33 EST

Florida keeps going back and forth between Trump and Clinton.

This is nerve-wracking.

My husband can’t believe this is even a competition.

I know never to underestimate angry white people.

At least dinner was good. Chris ate so fast, he got the hiccups, lol.

I’m really really hoping Clinton wins Florida.

19:14 EST

Trump is ahead currently in Florida. This doesn’t make me happy. But at least she’s ahead in Florida, but the votes are so tiny in number right now. Taking a break to eat.

food

19:06 EST

Goodness. Bellweather county in Indiana is pissing me off. I hope Vigo County is wrong this year. Right now, it’s leaning Trump.

It’s time to eat, so at least there’s that.

19:00 EST

CNN projects Donald Trump will win Kentucky and Indiana. No surprises there. Hillary Clinton will win Vermont. No surprise there.

Virginia, Georgia, North Carolina too early to call.

My husband and I toasted and took a drink our of our glasses about Vermont.

Chris: “I’m drunk!”

Me: “Join the club!”

18:57 EST

Eric Trump violated New York election law by posting a picture of his ballot, lol.

I get it though. I took photos of my ballot when I got to vote for both my mother and Obama in the same election. It was an amazing moment for me. Of course, I knew better than to post it online.

Dummy.

18:48 EST

I’m watching Ana Navarro on CNN. This woman gives me life. This Nicaraguan-born American woman makes me so happy!

18:41 EST

Classic CNN. They’re watching the counts in Indiana. We know Indiana is going for Trump. Do we really care about the last 70,000 votes coming in from there? No we don’t.

My husband and I are going to Paris and London for New Year’s. We’re pretty damn sure that if Trump wins, we’re not coming back. When we first moved to NYC, we said we were gonna be here for three years then move to Europe.

I’ve been looking at job opportunities in London in my same industry. And I’ve been looking at the visa process in the U.K. It’s very possible for us to go over there and not come back.

We each feel better knowing we have an escape route, just in case…

18:31 EST

Every time I turn to MSNBC, they piss me off. I was just trying to check on Rachel Maddow’s eyelashes, but nope. They had an awful commercial on that made me turn back to CNN before I could see her. Fiat is at peak appropriation right now, ugh.

My husband is now drinking a very strong rum & coke I’ve made him. I’m finishing the beer, half of which I’ve poured into the italian sausages.

The first part of the food is almost done: squash, yellow rice, italian sausages. Gonna be so good!

18:24 EST

I’ve been trying to do more situps as a part of my regular workout. I prolly should’ve done those earlier today… before I started drinking. Oh well, I’ll do them tomorrow before I go to work.

18:21 EST

CNN is cracking me up with these “KEY RACE ALERTS”

I’m just glad none of the alerts are surprises thus far.

18:14 EST

My chicken still isn’t completely defrosted, so I’ve got it running under cold water now. But the rice is cooking and so are the italian sausages. So at least we’ll get dinner. The chicken may end up being our lunch for tomorrow. Gonna cook the squash and broccolini soon. I’m about to open a beer for the sausages.

And drink the rest!

This food smells so amazing!

18:08 EST

I can already tell I’m gonna be so annoyed when she wins. People keep referencing how only 100  years aho women didn’ t have the right to vote. I’m just like, “white women!!!”

Yelling at my TV is not useful.

But CNN is happily distracting me. Results from Kentucky are rolling in. Donald Trump currently holds 87% of the vote with 1% of the vote in. No surprises here. Poor white people have a long history of voting for people who don’t do anything for them. Those coal workers who can’t even afford the Trump ties made in China think Trump will get their jobs back.

At least I’m getting the results I expected. As long as I see Nate Silver’s (my statistics boo) map fill in as expected, I’ll be happy.

18:00 EST

I’ve never been an angry drunk, but I’m finding myself yelling at the TV. Every time they say something I disagree with…

But I’m still my normal happy drunk self. I’m giving my husband lots of kisses and hugs. I’m sure he’s amused by my current behavior.

17:48 EST

Drunk confession? I’ve been fussing in my head that half the damn screen is being taken up by CNN having all this info scrolling at the bottom. And I’ve also been fussing that they haven’t been releasing the exit poll results yet.

#drunkfail

The info scrolling at the bottom IS the exit polling results!

Duh…

That’s my bad. So, I’m gleaning no useful information from those results. Things like, 68% of American are ashamed to be American doesn’t capture a proper picture. I’m sure that large number encompasses those who are ashamed that xenophobia, racism, and misogyny is such a driving force for Republicans and large amounts of it aren’t enough to make someone lose the vote of the base. But I’m also sure that a large number encompasses those who feel America has gone too far away from it’s values and we’re doing too much to embrace immigrants and the gays and the Muslims.

For the record, I’m all about embracing all the newness every wave of immigrant brings. In my job, every shift, I struggle to understand the nurses and doctors who call us to report potential donors. I hate that I don’t have a good ear for accents. I know life would be so much easier at work (and when I call customer service for almost any company) if every had an American accent. But so the fuck what? I prefer this melting pot. I love that I live in a city where I can get authentic cuisine from almost any culture made by people who are from there, wherever there is.

I don’t want the world Donald Trump wants us to go back to. i want to move forward. Even if that means I’ll never clearly understand another doctor or nurse ever again. The American dream doesn’t mean shit for me. The least I can do is welcome the people who it actually exists for.

17:41 EST

My husband is home! He’s amused that I’m tipsy. But I’ve given him a Brooklyn lager, so he can start catching up. He didn’t bring me butternut squash. He brought zucchini and yellow squash. I would’ve preferred the flavor of butternut squash tonight (with brown butter sauce, drool), but at least he brought me the easier squash to prepare. #drunkbenefits #blessed lol, definitely crossing the line from tipsy to drunk

17:25 EST

I finally heard a Trump support talk about real things, like actual reality for Trump. He pointed to a number of counties in Florida where the voting is up, counties that traditionally go for Republicans. He spoke (of course with no details) of plans that Trump has to fix a lot of problems for blue collar workers.

They should’ve had this guy out a lot more speaking for Trump. I mean, his words are falling on deaf ears for me, but there are bound to be people he could’ve resonated with. Maybe some middle America white folks with half of a college degree, a high level of pragmatism, no black friends, and a ton of family members that are factory workers or police officers. Surely those people would love his message.

Of course, those folks are probably already voting for Trump. Plus this guy isn’t very attractive. I dig his facial hair (and eyes, and voice and style), but he isn’t classically handsome, and we all know Trump hates to send out people who aren’t 10s to talk for him.

17:15 EST

I’m definitely tipsy. I keep trying to fast forward through commercials because DVR is how I watch most TV. At least my nails are almost dry. I’ve only messed up one of them. This is the benefit of dark nails, you can’t really see the blemishes.

Unless I’ve missed it, we still don’t have any exit polls results. Still 45 min away from the first polls closing. Soon after that, we’ll start to get results. My anxiety is building, but it’s starting to feel like an anxious excitement.

Watching CNN is helping, believe it or not. To see all of Trump’s supporters choosing to suspend reality as their candidate’s only path to victory is reassuring. I’m not saying it’s impossible for Trump to win. I’m just saying that his own supporters don’t seem to think the reality we all currently share makes it likely.

17:02 EST

Waiting for the results of the first exit polls to be released. First polls on the East Coast close in an hour. Starting to get nervous. My heart rate is up according to my Gear Fit 2.

Hillary Clinton’s camp is reporting that she is working on two versions of her final speech tonight. I’m hoping the victory speech is the one we’ll hear.

I’m still on my first, admittedly large, glass of wine. I’m gonna check to see if the chicken and italian sausage are defrosted.

heart-rate

16:48 EST

CNN is giddy because Clinton’s motorcade is leaving Chappaqua, NY to head for the city to setup camp to hear tonight’s results.

Also, women are gather by Susan B. Anthony’s grave to put their I Voted stickers there. They’re hoping tonight is the culmination of her fight. A white woman will hopefully be president. Don’t mistake my focus on color for a lack of support for Hillary Clinton. I want her to win. I’m just not foolish enough about history to forget that the fight for women to vote didn’t include women that looked like me. My anniversary of voting right’s ain’t the same as Clinton’s.

16:44 EST

Nails are drying currently. and I’m a bit tipsy, lol. Sounds like a good time to start cooking, right? Luckily I cook while drunk often. But I gotta wait until my husband gets here with the veggies for tonight’s dinner.

Meanwhile on CNN, the anchor is mocking Trump for not knowing the difference between country and county. Peak Trump… it’s in his best interest to get facts wrong.

The dark blue nails are so fall, don’t you think?

blue-bails

16:06 EST

They’re talking about how both candidates are having their parties tonight in Midtown Manhattan, which has never happened before. As a New Yorker, I think it’s kinda cool too. I’m just even happier that I’m safe in Brooklyn today.

I feel badly for my co-workers who have to work today though. My office is on 34th & 10th, which is so close to the Javits Center which is on 34th & 11th. Security and traffic over there is gonna be crazy.

Painting my nails now, so I gotta take a break from the keyboard so I don’t fuck up my right hand.

16:00 EST

CNN pissed me off for a second white white people and their dogs. But now we’re back on track. Interviews with people at the polls, and opinionated responses from the panel.

And more ridiculousness and separation from reality from that black guy who’s there for Donald Trump.

Let’s be honest here, there’s a chance Trump can win today, but it’s not happening by secret black and brown voters. His only chance is uneducated white men showing up in large numbers.

And more wine for me.

15:52 EST

Geez, now they’re interviewing Russians on their opinion of the possible outcomes of this election?!?! I know they have a lot of hours to fill today, but geez. Who cares?! I guess we’re back to CNN to see if they’ve finished talking to that Trump woman.

15:40 EST 

As soon as I turned to MSNBC, those fuckers had that video of Jimmy Fallon mussing up Trump’s hair on his show a few months ago. Ugh, this guy. I loved Jimmy Fallon before he decided sticking his head in the sand about politics this year. I get it, it’s not your jam, but it is my jam, so you can go off my TV screen.

Ole making-Trump-look-amusing, focused-on-the-wrong-damn-thing, why-is-he-even-on-your-show-in-that-case, would-rather-be-silly-than-focused self. Ugh, I need wine.

As I’m watching MSNBC, I’m not familiar with these anchors, I’m used to watching later in the evening with Rachel Maddow and them. And now I’m hoping Maddow has a better stylist this year. She always looks great, but she had Snuffleupagus eyelashes going four years ago. Don’t do that to her again tonight guys!

There is good news from my fridge though. I found the rest of my bottle of Sancerre, I thought that was finished when out mothers visited last week. But it wasn’t!

wine-1

15:36 EST

I just checked Twitter and 538.com says their prediction model is locked. No more new information in there. The prediction I have screenshotted below is what the polling model Nate Silver (my statistics boo) setup says about who will win tonight.

At 7pm Eastern, the map will change to begin to reflect the polling results as they come in. I wonder what effect results from earlier states have on the voting of later states, if any. With so much early voting these days, I’d be surprised if it has a huge effect.

Okay… Lara Trump just showed up to CNN to be interviewed. I honestly could care less about her opinions of what life has been like for Trump in these final days. Heading over to MSNBC.

15:23 EST

Of COURSE Trump is trying to say the votes are rigged. And his team have already filed in Nevada about the polling place staying open, which they are required to do by law. Anyone already in line when the polling place closes still get a chance to vote. Gladly, the judge threw out his claim.

But seriously?? Saying that ballots that were filled out for the Republican candidates switching over to Democrats? Um…. that’s a big no. As usual, no actual evidence, no actual specific polling sites mentioned, no actual people this has happened to.

I pity the people who believe him without question. If he were winning, he’d swear the electoral process was perfect.

15:13 EST

My husband just messaged me that he’s jealous because I’m drinking and he’s not. I have no sympathy, lol. I made sure I had today off from work, he didn’t do the same. He had a rehearsal today for a new band he’s gonna be playing with every other Thursday.

While I was chuckling and thinking of which drink my husband will go for first when he returns home, Paris Dennard started speaking on CNN about Trump’s chances for winning Michigan. He’s saying the same bullshit that Ben Carson was.

Why does every Trump supporter say, “let’s throw out the polls”? It’s because they all need to suspend reality to give their candidate a chance to vote.

And why the hell do all the black men supporting Trump sound like Stepford wives who’ve taken 3 Xanax in less than 3 hours?

15:01 EST

CNN is going over whether or not polling places have had glitches. A few have, and they are requesting the ability to stay open later as a result. Mostly at places with electronic voting. When I voted this morning, I used a paper ballot with a pen filling in bubbles, and then it was fed into and counted by a machine. There seemed to be no glitches, so that was nice for my polling place. We’ll see what happens in other polling places.

I’m thinking of painting my nails. It used to be my Monday night therapy while watching Dancing with the Stars before I started doing so much yoga. But I think I could use it today. I’m going for a nice sparkly turquoise shade of blue.

I think before I do that, I’ll pop over to fivethirtyeight.com and see what they think about who will win today. Nate Silver, my statistics boo, was 100% right in 2012. Will he have a repeat performance this year?

538-prediction

14:41 EST

There is a reporter interviewing two people outside of an election place in Orange Country in Florida. A lot of people see that is a decisive county that may decide if Clinton or Trump win that state.

The New York Times says that Trump can’t win without winning Florida. Fingers cross that there is some truth to that.

Back to these two voters. This woman said that she was voting for Trump because she wanted change and no more Clintons. I can understand that sentiment. But I would like it a lot more if those words didn’t come out of the mouths of people who can’t articulate what change they’d like to see.

The reporter asked the woman how she felt about the first woman voter, and she was basically like, “meh.” When asked about friends of hers who might be excited about the first woman president, she said, “yeah, I have women friends.” What does that even mean? I’m guessing it means this woman has zero male feminist friends. Surprise, surprise.

14:35 EST

Watching Ben Carson talk about how black people are called Uncle Tom if they are publicly supporting Donald Trump. Then, he follows it up with repeating all the Republican tropes of black people. Babies out of wedlock?!?! Really?!?!

I’m just glad I was able to stay awake in spite of his zzzquil voice.

14:25 EST

Love that damn near every episode of The Flash ends so emotionally. All the feels. Glad to have this moment of happy heartedness before heading into the trenches of election coverage.

And my tea is done!

tea

13:44 EST

Now I’m getting antsy and I’m wondering what the pundits are saying about early election returns. This is a great episode of The Flash.

I love seeing Draco Malfoy all grown up but still wonderfully British-ly snotty. But… I’m itching to see what’s going on over at CNN.

I’ll probably make myself a hot toddy then head over on to CNN after this episode finishes.

13:38 EST

Why is the scary guy on this show black? Ugh, at least he’s a smart science guy.

13:34 EST

I could scream that they’re let another Wells into their mix on The Flash. These multiple Harrisons are NEVER up to any good. They always turn out okay, or develop enough of a bond with the other characters to not want to kill them completely or whatever. But damn, not on any Earth does Harrison Wells have pure intentions.

And they all keep voice diaries, lol. This may make me start drinking sooner than CNN will.

drink-options

13:06 EST 

Hi everyone! I’m sitting on my couch, having just watched Lin-Manuel Miranda’s monologue on SNL for the thirtieth time–escapism! I told myself that after I voted and stocked up on wine, I’d start watching CNN for election coverage.

after-voting

But… I just cant do it yet. I’m catching up on the DVR, watching The Flash right now. I haven’t started drinking yet, and all I know about the election is who’s been posting on IG that they voted. Oh, and Clinton won Dixville, New Hampshire shortly after midnight.

Let’s see where the day takes me.


Grey’s Anatomy Character Ages

I don’t know why my previous post on this topic, from years ago, is so popular, but I decided to bring that information over into a new post so all the updates and edits read a bit clearer. If you want to struggle through the old post feel free.

I am estimating that in this 12th season, the show has covered just under 9 years of real time. This includes a five year surgical residency for the main core cast (of whom only Meredith and Alex are left), then various career paths that add up to just under 4 years of time. Wikia disagrees with me and thinks it’s been just under 5. You can see my detailed explanation of how Meredith spent her time to see exactly how I’m adding it up.

I wrote the original post in December 2011, during Season 8, right after Derek & Meredith officially adopt Zola. At that time, I estimated Meredith to be around 36 years old.

For this update, I’ll also focus on Meredith Grey. I’m going to say more than I will for the other characters, so you get an idea of how I’m tracking the passing time: Her residency class finished residency and became fellows or attendings in the start of Season 9, where Grey is already 3 weeks pregnant with Derek Bailey Shepherd. She has that baby at the end of Season 9. It seems that she carries her baby to almost-if-not-definitely full term, so Season 10 begins 9 months-ish after Season 9.

We’re to a full year later during season 10 when Matt & April almost get married in the Season 10 mid-winter finale. Derek and Meredith struggle through the rest of Season 10, with her realizing she doesn’t need him, but she wants him. Not too long after that is when Derek comes home for a few weeks/months early in Season 11, then dies a few episodes before the Season 11 finale. In those last few episodes of Season 11, Meredith is gone for the length of a full term pregnancy, let’s just say 9 months because it obviously take a while to find out she’s pregnant, returning to her mother’s house in the season finale.

Season 12 starts approximately 3 months after that.  We lost a few months here and there in single jumps due to Penny showing up, Meredith getting attacked in the ER, suddenly April is 12 weeks pregnant, etc. Total time since Dec 2011:  just shy of 4 years (really like 3 years and ten months), so I estimate Meredith Grey to be 40-ish.

Please see below for the character list, mostly transferred over from my previous blog post about this topic.

CURRENT CAST MEMBERS

Ellen Pompeo: plays Meredith Gray; actual age is [46]; character’s age is around 40-ish (completed college at 25, did nothing for 3 or so years, 4 years med school, 5 years surgical residency, just under 2 years attending, just under 1 year “sabbatical”, currently in her 1st year as general surgery chief)

Justin Chambers: plays Alex Karev; actual age is [45]; character’s age is around 35 (completed college at 22, 4 years med school, 5 years surgical residency, 2 years fellowship, few months with Dr. Butthole, currently in his 2nd year as a pediatric surgical attending)

Chandra Wilson: plays Miranda Bailey; actual age is [46]; character’s age is around 41 (completed college at age 24, 4 years med school, 5 years surgical residency, 6 years as attending, currently in her 2nd year as chief of surgery)

James Pickens, Jr.: plays Richard Webber; actual age is [61]; character’s age is around 62 (completed college at age 22, 4 years med school, {1 year residency pre-sleeping with Ellis Grey} + Meredith Grey’s age – 5)

Sara Ramirez: plays Callie Torres; actual age is [40]; character’s age is around 41 (completed college at age 22, 4 years med school, 2 years peace corps, 5 year surgical residency, 6 years as attending, currently in her 2nd year as chief of orthopedic surgery)

Kevin McKidd: plays Owen Hunt; actual age is [42] ; character’s age is around 46 (completed college at age 23, 4 years med school, 5 year surgical residency, joined the Army after 9/11/01, discharged in 2008, 4 years as attending, 1-ish year chief of surgery, currently in his 2nd year as chief of trauma surgery)

Jessica Capshaw: plays Arizona Robbins; actual age is [39]; character’s age is around 38 (completed college at age 22, 4 years med school, 5 year surgical residency, 2-3 years that we know of at Seattle Grace as an attending, currently in her 4th year as pediatric surgery chief, including <12 months accelerated fellowship with Dr. Herman )

Sarah Drew: plays April Kepner; actual age is [35]; character’s age is around 35 (completed college at age 22, 4 years med school, 5 years surgical residency, currently in her 4th year as a trauma surgery attending, including sabbaticals to do some Doctors without Borders type situation for at least 12-15 months total that I can calculate)

Jesse Williams: plays Jackson Avery; actual age is [34]; character’s age is around 35 (completed college at age 22, 4 years med school, 5 years surgical residency, 1-2 years plastic surgery attending, currently in his 2nd year as plastic surgery chief )

Caterina Scorsone: plays Amelia Shepherd; actual age is [34]; character’s age has to be at least 38, more likely 40 (completed college at age 22, 4 years medical school, 5 year surgical residency, 2 year neurosurgical residency, 1-3 years teaching fellow, 2-5 years as neurosurgeon on Private Practice, currently in her 2nd year as neurosurgical chief)

Camilla Luddington: plays Jo Wilson; actual age is [32]; character’s age is 30 (completed college at age 22, 4 years medical school, currently in her 4th year as a surgical resident)

Jerrika Hinton; plays Stephanie Edwards; actual age is [34]; character’s age is 30 (completed college at age 22, 4 years medical school,, currently in her 4th year as a surgical resident)

Kelly McCreary: plays Maggie Pierce; actual age is [34]; character’s age is 32 (completed college at age 17-ish, 3 years medical school, 5 year surgical residency, 3 years cardiothoracic surgical fellowship, 2-3 years cardiothoracic surgical head at some other hospital, currently in her 2nd year as cardiothoracic surgical chief… AND we know her actual birthdate)

Giancomo Gianniotti: plays Andrew DeLuca; actual age is [26]; character’s age is at least 28, no more than 31 (completed high school at age 18, 1-4 years as EMT, 4 years college, 4 years medical school, currently is his 1st year as a surgical intern)

Martin Henderson: plays Nathan Riggs; actual age is [41]; character’s age is anywhere between 44-47 based on time spent with Hunt in med school (completed college at age 22-24, 4 years medical school when he met Hunt, 5 years surgical residency, some time with Hunt as an Army trauma surgeon, some time with Kepner while doing her Doctors without Borders thing, currently in his 1st year as a cardiothoracic attending)

Jason George: plays Ben Warren; actual age is [44]; character’s age is around 38-ish (completed college at age 22, 4 years medical school, 4 year anesthesia residency, came to Seattle Grace from Mercy West as an attending, so let’s say he was an attending for 2-ish years, then attending at Seattle Grace for 2 years, 1 year surgical residency at UCLA, currently in his 4th (I think…) year surgical residency after the transfer home)

OLD CAST MEMBERS

Sandra Oh: played Cristina Yang; actual age is [44]; character’s age is around 36-ish (completed college at 22-ish, somehow completed her PhD and MD in 6 years, she was 28 during her intern year, 5 years surgical residency, 1 year attending, 3rd year as director of hospital in Zurich).

T.R. Knight: played George O’Malley; actual age is [43]; character died at age 29, would be 35 had he lived (completed college at 22, 4 years med school, made it to, but not through his 3rd year of residency).

Katherine Heigl: played Izzie Stevens; actual age is [36]; character left the show at age 30, would be around 35 had she stayed (completed college at 23, 4 years med school, fired during her 3rd year of residency, doing who-the-hell-cares-what is the 6 years since)

Isaiah Washington: played Preston Burke; actual age is [52]; character’s age is 50-something (all they ever mentioned about the character was he is 40-something, and that was during casting, so presumably he’s 50-something as we’re now 9-ish years later in time)

Patrick Dempsey: played Derek Shepherd; actual age is [50]; character died at age 45, would be 47 had he lived (completed college at age 22, 4 years medical school, then got married in 1994, 5 year surgical residency, fellowship , etc. Age as of late 2015: deceased at age 45-ish)

Kate Walsh: played Addison Montgomery; actual age is [48]; character’s age is around 48 (completed college at 22, 6 years college + PhD program, 4 years med school, 5 year surgical residency, and some other stuff, but she was 39 in the season 8 finale of Grey’s Anatomy in 2006, which matches her supposed birth year of 1967, and technically another 7 years have passed in time since that season which was basically residency year 2, sooooooo weird timing there, just ignore it) [also, I’m not considering her character as really gone from the show, she could come back for a crazy surgery to assist Arizona at any time, it could happen people!]

Eric Dane: played Mark Sloan; actual age is [43] character died at age 44, would be 48 had he lived (completed college at age 22, 4 years med school, 5 year surgical residency, basically the same age as Derek and Addison, he ad Derek were friends as kids)

Brooke Smith: played Erica Hahn; actual age is [48]; they never quite got around to her age, but I estimate her as 50-something (completed college around age 22, 4 years med school, 5 year surgical residency, and she was in the same year of school as Preston Burke).

Chyler Leigh: played Lexie Grey; actual age is [34]; character died at age 27, would be 31 had she lived (completed college at age 19, 4 years med school, made it to but not through 4th year surgical residency).

Kim Raver: played Teddy Altman; actual age is [47]; they don’t say her age, but her character was at least 40 when she left the show, would be 45 had she stayed (completed college at age 22, 4 years med school, 5 year surgical residency, 2 years fellowship, joined Army after 9/11/01)

Gaius Charles: played Shane Ross; actual age is [32]; character’s age is completely a guess at 30 (completed college at age 22, 4 years medical school 2+ years surgical residency at Seattle Grace before leaving with Yang, currently in his 4th year of surgical residency at the Klausman Institute for Medical Research)

Tess Ferrer: played Leah Murphy; actual age is [30]; character’s age is a guess at 28 (they identified her birth year as 1987, which makes her four years younger than Pierce, so she completed college at age 21-ish, 4 years medical school, fired during her 2nd-ish year of surgical residency, hopefully working in that research Webber sent her to since then)

 


On Forcing Myself to Watch Reality TV

It isn’t honest of me to say that I don’t like reality TV. I like some of it. Pretty much anything on Food Network interests me. I also religiously watch Dancing with the Stars, America’s Next Top Model, and American Idol.

But I tend to stay away from reality TV shows that are just following someone around with a camera all day. I’ve only ever seen half of one episode of Keeping up with the Kardashians. I’ve never seen an episode of Real Housewives of anything, and proud of it. I’ve been out of loop on shows like this since the Real World became a phenomenon on MTV (or was it VH1?)

I noticed that my co-workers are always discussing something related to one of these shows. People act like they know celebrities if they are exposed to personal information about their lives. But for reality TV stars, you really do get personal details about their lives. It’s still framed however the producers want it to go, but it’s a glimpse into these people’s world. It’s the type of glimpse I’ve never really be interested in.

Seriously, my only interest in reality TV is maybe participating in a show one day myself. And the only reason for that is that if the show is successful, it’s pretty much my only shot at ever competing on Dancing with the Stars. Derek Hough would be my partner, and we would totally win that Season. But first, I’d have to be on a reality TV show because I’ll never be famous otherwise.

That being said, I realized I was missing out on a whole cultural phenomenon by not watching these types of TV shows. So when one of my best friends came up with the bucket list idea, I thought reality TV would be the perfect thing to choose for the category titled, “All the Kids Are Doing It”.

I’ve already discussed my efforts to find a soy/tofu dish or food item that I really genuinely like. That’s still an ongoing process. I’m taking Catskill Blogger‘s advice, and I’m going to try chocolate flavored soy milk next.

But since this post is about reality TV, let’s discuss that. I took a poll amongst people I know who watch these types of shows. They seemed to think Love & Hip Hop would be the best, but I just couldn’t do it. I had decided I was going to watch an entire season of whatever show I picked, and I just couldn’t commit to watching an entire season of that show. Nothing about who I am as a person could allow that.

So I went with a second choice: The Bad Girls Club. This show is still awful. It jams 7 women from different backgrounds into a house where the only thing they have in common is a desire to “turn up” and a willingness to “pop off” if the feel offended. I’m putting it in caps only because I feel like they took those two terms to a whole new level. They said the words turn, up, pop, and off at least 100 times each episode.

When I decided to just deal with my hesitancy and watch the damn show already, they were in the middle of Season 12, which was filmed in Chicago. I really didn’t want to watch all that rachetness in my hometown, nor did I want to commit to having to keep up with episodes for an ongoing season. So I just watched all of Season 11, which was filmed in Miami, in about a week.

There were some moments that I loved, like when they did a fake commercial for 1-800-kick-a-ho-out. I still chuckle when I think of that. But these girls were so mean. And they were boring. If they were drinking or plotting to kick another girl out of the house, there was nothing going on with them.

I have to admit that I wasn’t bored while watching the show, I was mostly just nonplussed. Why these women would want to go on national TV to show the most stereotypical versions of themselves, I will never understand. But they made some pretty good friendships, and they had a lot of fun together. I get the appeal, and I get why the reality TV show industry is still growing.

People like to see other people living. I get it. It’s not for me really, but I’m glad I put it on the bucket list. Otherwise I would never have experienced it. And I would never have seen all that rachetness up close and personal. And really, what’s your 20s without a little bit of rachetness?


And We’re Still Together

Does anybody watch the TV show Pysch? I love that show. It’s so hilarious and absolutely ridiculous, but I’ve seen every single episode for all 7 seasons. A very recent episode of Psych made me think more than that show ever intended.

I’ve been following these characters for seasons, so I was feeling very emotionally invested when one of them finally got married to a woman who was perfect for him. No dramedy is complete without a possible breakup at a wedding, so when that happened, I got really introspective.

I began thinking of how much it must hurt for the guy breaking up to watch the people not breaking up. I remembered what it felt like to want to be past dating and just be with the person God intended for me.

I was happy being single because I found things about it I liked, but I have never been the type of person who preferred being single over being in a relationship.

Remembering that feeling made me feel a longing for the safety of a happy relationship. When you are committed, bad things can happen, and it’s okay.

Are there things bad enough to blow up even a very solid relationship? Well, yes, there has to be. Otherwise, the divorce rate wouldn’t be as high as it is.

But in that moment watching a couple ending juxtaposed against one taking a next important relationship step, I was so happy I was couple #2. They were happy and solid. They had quite literally dodged bullets on their way down the aisle to get married.

Luckily, there aren’t any bullets involved with the husband. Just lots of live music. And nothing about his talent is fake, so we’re a step ahead of all the couples on Psych at least.

I’m sure there is something wrong with me to become so thoughtful because of an episode of Psych. James Roday would either be highly offended or complimented.

I’m just thankful I’ve got my solid thing going. I much prefer the comfort of a happy relationship over anything else. For as long as it lasts, this is where I’m staying.

God-willing, it will last forever.


I Hold In My Hand

An Easter Egg

-Easter was fun this year. My brother’s birthday fell on the day, as it does every handful of years. Making a birthday dinner fitting his tastes while also making our typical Easter food was a fun challenge. Before dinner was a great church service. I had a meeting at work in the morning before church, so I was on time to church for the first time in months. Perhaps if I went to church seven days a week, I’d actually leave work at a reasonable hour.

The praise team and the choir were pretty good. The new drummer at the church does not like to let a song end. He isn’t entirely new, but I work a lot of Sundays, so he’s new to me. But imagine any Tyler Perry movie you’ve seen. We don’t have anyone back-flipping down the aisles like Mr. Brown, but there’s definitely some Holy Ghost party stuff happening when the drummer hits that reprise.

After church was crazy because the Sunday School, of which my mother is superintendent, made Easter baskets for all the children. Imagine over 50 kids age 0-18 running around hopped up on sugar. I was standing in a corner with my fingers crossed as if avoiding a jinx. All those children running around scared me. I felt it might be contagious, so I avoided anyone too young for school and definitely all those with parasites pregnant women. Don’t get me wrong, I love babies and I read all the mommy blogs, I just like to watch from afar and avoid joining the ranks for now.

Your Job

-This weekend was full of meetings and evaluations. I’m still getting adjusted to this part of being a supervisor. Almost everyone who knows me will tell you I’m a bossy person. I like to tell folks what to do. But I’m no Donald Trump. Saying you’re fired doesn’t come easily for me. I haven’t had to fire anyone, but I’ve had some get-it-together-so-you-don’t get-fired talks.

I like people to keep their jobs, so I focus on the meetings where I inform someone they’ve earned a raise. I suppose this part of it will get easier with time, but I was happy to get back to work today and escape to my spreadsheets and reports. The numbers never need to hear “get it together.”

A Glass of Champagne

-As I said earlier, Easter was also my brother’s birthday. It was his 30th birthday. It was nice to have a party with close friends and family there. My brother isn’t really big on family, so it was nice when he wanted to have a party that included family. His godfather came with his family. The older daughter of the family was one of my best friends when we were children. She was there with her husband and son. Even though her son is only 3, I made an exception to my earlier rule and uncrossed my fingers to hang out with him. Although I did have to tell little man to stay away from my husband once the husband hugged him and said, “I want one!”

We had a really enjoyable time, and the drinks were flowing. Mimosa, beers, and champagne gave everyone a happy buzz. Nothing goes with lamb, crab legs, turkey wings, ham, pot roast, and prime rib like champagne. We had a few vegetables as well. But only a very few.

The TV Remote

-I feel like I will never catch up with American Idol. Why they insist on having no way to view episodes after airing other than DVR is beyond me. I have 22 episodes queued up to watch on the DVR at my parents’ house. I only managed to watch one on Sunday after dinner. What crazy person decided they should take up 4-6 hours of television every week. I’ll never catch up. So I’m avoiding all news and media reports of who the Top 10 and Top 8 are and all that. I’ll probably be purchasing the CD of the winner before I even finish watching Hollywood week. There must exist some bootleg website (THAT I WOULD NEVER SUPPORT) that can help me so I can watch this show without taking over my parents’ TV.


Trying To Stop Drooling

As an 80’s baby, I entered my adolescent/teenage years addicted to TGIF. Step by Step, Family Matters, Boy Meets World, I loved it all. I remember Corey and Topanga getting married on Boy Meets World. I remember Alex growing boobs on Step by Step. Most importantly, I remember when Steve Urkel became Stefan Urkel.

As a young girl, I damn near melted. Drooling in front of my TV set was a regular occurrence, and I was flabbergasted when Laura ultimately ended up with Steve while Stefan became a model in Paris. Seriously, to this day, I’m like what the fuck?!

But this is not about my childhood, this is about my adulthood. And as an adult, my lust for the character Stefan Urkel has been transferred to Jaleel White the adult. He’s on Dancing with the Stars this season and I can’t get enough.

Every time he comes on screen, I’m thankful that the husband isn’t nearby so he can’t see my face. I know when he sees this post, he’ll be able to imagine. He’ll just imagine the face I usually reserve only for Will Smith. But I had forgotten how much I love me some Jaleel White.

He’s no conventionally attractive, at least all my friends keep telling me I’m alone in finding him so damn irresistible. But I don’t give a damn. I likes what I likes. And when I finally got around to watching Monday’s episode of DTWS online, I melted again.

He danced with his partners to Babyface’s For The Cool In You. Everything I loved about the 90s was personified on my computer screen. And what’s more, it was all grown up.

It actually reminded me of one of my favorite things about the husband. He was some random boy I had a crush on when we were kids at the same music conservatory. I didn’t know him then and didn’t care too. I just liked watching the cute boy with the big afro play his saxophone. And now he’s all grown and sexy and everything I might’ve imagined he would be all grown up, if I’d cared to imagine such things as a child.

Jaleel White is all grown up. And I will be so sad if/when he leaves DWTS this season. There’s no Olympic athlete, the football player is just so-so, and there’s not a standout dancer that’s got enough fans prior to the start of the season to be ahead with no chance of catchup. That bodes well for his chances. We’ll have to see.

Now, please excuse me while I watch this dance on repeat for the thirtieth time.


Getting Access To Your Records

After watching far too many episodes of Leverage, and through the course of my job, I’ve realized something.

If someone wanted access to your records, it’d be pretty easy to get.

People call in to my job asking about people’s donor status, test results, surgical history, etc. If their call seems to be from one of our partner agencies, they get the information. We don’t confirm identities or anything. We just take people’s word for it.

Everything is recorded and verified. Eventually verified. It’s that “eventually” part that worried me.

It kind of freaks me out to know how easy a person’s information can be accessed. We bypass HIPAA or rather have an exception to HIPAA that allows us access to everyone’s information. By proxy, so do our partner agencies.

All the stuff that we figure is kept safe in our doctor’s files is open for the world to see. Now if you have no crazy stuff going on, you’re fine. Also, most of the time we access someone’s records, they’re dead or about to be dead. And it you’re dead, are you concerned about your records anymore? No, you’re not.

There is the occasional patient who gets called into us because they’re on a ventilator. We get all their information and share it with our partner agencies. But then they don’t die and all they’re stuff is out there.

No one at my office is selling medical histories on the black market, or whereever you’d sell that kind of stuff. We take our jobs very seriously. As far as I know, there’s never been a breach of confidentiality. Considering that we get hundreds of calls every single day (lots o’ people die in Illinois), that’s a very big success rate.

This is mostly because of my too many episodes of Leverage. but let’s say someone wanted to access a recently deceased person’s records for nefarious purposes. I’m not going to say what they’d do to get it ( *cough* fake being an employee of another agency *cough*), but most of our business is conducted by phone and fax. Hardison and Parker would have all our shit in like 10 min flat.

But enough worrying… your records are fine… Probably…

I apologize because I did write this at like 5:00 am, when really sleepy at work. I get like this. And I watch too much TV.


I Think I Watch Too Much TV

As evidenced by the post I wrote on Christmas Eve, I watch a lot of TV. In the days between Christmas and New Year’s, I think I watched even more than usual. With almost all the shows on holiday hiatus, the fiancé took care of my TV fix by buying me two seasons of Leverage as one of my Christmas gifts.

We’ve been holed up in the house watching episodes. You get hooked on each plotline. How each new person adds to the team’s identity and how each case fits in with the season’s arc. And then you start to see similarities between the show and your life.

Oh wait, is that just me? Yeah, I think I’ve officially watched too many episodes of Leverage in a row.

I was a work and a man I’ve never seen before happened to be in one of the kitchenette areas where I go to get water. He’s steeping his tea and looking very into it. He looks pretty unassuming. Nice smile, slightly askew glasses, even has an ID badge prominently displayed proving he works here.

But I do work at night. There’s a finite number of people that come through here during evening hours and this man just didn’t look familiar. He strikes up a conversation asking about some information that’s pretty crucial to the entire company and our bonus payments in the new year.

Without going into too much detail, based on the way I was dressed, anyone in the building would know that I’d be in the know about specific cases. I had the answer to his questions. And before I even knew what I was doing, I answered his questions. In detail.

I felt like calling the fiancé immediately to tell him what happened. With each episode we watched, he was confused as to how the team could gather so much information from and about their marks. Why would people just volunteer the info? Well apparently, all you need is an employee badge and an unassuming smile, and you’re in.

I’m not saying that guy is a con man who gathered intel from me to bring down someone in my company. I’m not saying he was there, ready to pounce on his prey an extract all he needed to make the job go down.

Nah, I’m just saying I watch too much TV.


This Post Is NOT About Christmas

I’ve already written several posts about Christmas. As a huge lover of Christmas, this was a given. But seeing as how Christmas is less than 24 hours away now, I wanted to talk about something else, anything else. It’s because I care about the 3 1/2 people who read this blog and don’t want to inundate you with even more Christmas-y stuff when you’d probably like a short break, if only for a moment.

So… what to talk about? Politics? Nah, that’s far too depressing. Entertainment news? Nah, not enough substance. Cooking or recipes? Nah, you’ll see more food than you’d like today or tomorrow. So what then? It has to be something that doesn’t require a lot of thinking, but may still be slightly enjoyable. Something that is relevant, but not important…

Ah ha! Television!! What is more mindless than primetime television? Nothing, that’s what. I’m going to talk about my favorite shows out right now. I warn you, I watch about 35 different shows. They’re on all year long though. Between summer seasons, fall seasons, mid-season replacements, and two-part seasons, I’m good to go with new episodes of my favorites all year round.

If I focused only on shows that have had a new episode between November-January and are still on the air (as in, will actually finish this season and also have another one), I’d still have over 20 to cover. So I will narrow it down to five. I’ll do my top 5 current faves and a mid-season premier I’m excited about.

#5 Glee: I love this show so much. I love musicals anyway, so the fact that they squeeze it into an hour episode each week just makes my day. I find myself so enthralled in their stories. Will Sam win back Mercedes? How will Finn and Rachel last past graduation? Will Kurt hold onto Blaine? Will Quinn or Santana ever stop being such a bitch? It’s all so intriguing. I love shows where the high school kids don’t act like they’re under 18. Good times. I mean, terrible example, but good times.

#4 How I Met Your Mother: This show is in it’s 7th season. If I were Ted Mosby’s kids, I would be threatening to slit my wrist if he didn’t get to the point of his damn story. But as as TV viewer, I want it to go on and on and on. Right now, I’m currently dying, dying, to know who Barney is marrying. Why are they holding out on me?! It’s been nice growing up with these folks. I mean, they’re six years older than me, but I didn’t start watching until Season 4, so catching up with re-runs felt like I was right on pace, you know?

#3 Once Upon A Time: This new show is my shit! I love all things Disney, and therefore all things fairy tale. Throw in Ginnifer Goodwin (whom I’ve loved since she was GiGi), and I’m really good to go. This show follows fairy tale characters who are cursed by an evil queen to live in the real world with no happily ever afters. Imagine Snow White and Cinderella being friends. Now imagine both of their evil queens being friends. Throw in Jiminy Cricket and a Rumpelstiltskin that’s both amusing and creepy, and you’ve got quite a cast. If you know the fairy tale stories, these complicated and interwoven storylines are easy to follow. Each episode gets more intriguing. When will they discover the secret? When will Snow White’s daughter believe? Does Rumpelstiltskin really know the secret? The suspense is almost unbearable!

#2 Revenge: This show is also in its first season. And I couldn’t be more enthralled. It follows a formula like I like. Each episode, Emily tries to take down someone who’s either responsible for framing her father or responsible for making her life more difficult.  You have to wonder how long her house of cards can hold up. The villains are layered and sometimes sympathetic. It’s a delicious story with an ending revealed in the very first episode. Like every other story you know the ending of, you just sit back and enjoy the journey to that inevitable end.

#1 Leverage: I love a good heist tale. Ocean’s Eleven is my favorite movie after all. But this show really makes me smile. It’s in its 4th season, and each show gets better. The formula is this team of criminals-turned-Robin-Hoods pull a job on someone taking advantage of someone who can’t defend themselves. Each season also has an arc it follows where there’s some major antagonist against the whole team that must be dealt with. This show is interesting because of the heist, the complex characters, and the plot lines. If you decide to watch it, I suggest you start with season 1 episode 1.

Mid-Season Premiere: House of Lies: Two words. Don Cheadle. I’ve loved him since he was in an episode of Fresh Prince back in the day. Funny, talented, serious and he has that certain joie de vivre. Before I even knew what this show was about, I wanted to watch it. I don’t have cable at home, and this comes on HBO, but trust that I’ll be catching it on sidereel. Here’s what Wikipedia has to say about the show:

House of Lies is an upcoming American comedy television series created by Matthew Carnahan.[1] The show, which will premiere on Showtime on January 8, 2012, is based on Martin Kihn‘s book, House of Lies: How Management Consultants Steal Your Watch and Then Tell You the Time.

What are you favorite shows? Do you lean more towards comedy or drama? Isn’t dramedy the best new genre ever?


America’s Next Top Model, C17 E13, Season Finale

If you follow this show at all, you there was some chatter leading up to this last episode. They said someone was going to be disqualified, but they didn’t say who or why. Well, I can settle that right now. Angelea was disqualified by the producers because of something she disclosed. They didn’t say what or why. And then they just moved on with judging. This is after Angelea went through the entire competition, all the way up to the final runway.

I wonder what it was. Was she pregnant? Did she sleep with a cameraman? Did she get paid by some advertising company to do something? Who knows. And at what point was it disclosed? If you find out, let me know. Now on to the episode.

I’m not going to go too in-depth, just the highlights. Like every finale episode, they did a Cover Girl shoot and commercial that would become a national print ad for the winner. This time, they also added in a Vogue Italia shoot that would become the spread in Vogue Italia for the winner. All three girls did good on the Cover Girl shoot and the Vogue Italia shoot. It made sense that they were the top three cause they were all good, really good.

The other thing they do in the finale is a final runway show. They worked with designer Michael Cinco a handful of episodes ago on dresses for the final runway. The girls who made it to the final three (Angelea, Allison, and Lisa) all got to wear the dress they gave him design inspiration for. They also brought back Dominique, Self-Righteous Barbie aka Shannon, and Laura.

The runway show itself had a fantastic premise. The girls would walk up to a stage and down into a pool. Then they swam to the other side and walked out. This represented their transformation into a goddess. They entered a ring of fabric which raised up and when it lowered, they were standing there, dried off and looking fierce. They were lifted through the air to a runway where they walked.

The top three girls walked to their songs that they wrote in an earlier episode. The whole thing was really very spectacular. Lisa messed up on the swimming across the pond thing. She tried to flip around in the water, but she had her eyes closed, so she turned right instead of going straight. It was pretty funny.

Moving on to panel. It was at panel that they gave their announcement about Angelea. They wished her well (not literally her, she wasn’t there), and then they moved on. They compared and contrasted Lisa and Allison, then they debated. I figured since Allison was in the bottom two the week before, there was no way it would be her.

They showed the second half of the motion editorial and the final seconds of it revealed who America’s Next Top Model All-Star would be. It was Lisa. Yay for her or whatever. There are several girls I would have preferred over her, but she is the whole package. She definitely draws attention to herself, but I won’t be tuning in to watch her scream “Whooooo!” loudly into the camera every 5 seconds on E!

Tyra said something about Lisa being the first All Star. That makes me wonder if Cycle 18 will be another All Star Cycle. They should do an all plus size cycle. That’d be something.


America’s Next Top Model, C17 E12

I skipped episode 11 because it was just highlights from the season. I’ve been watching and re-capping the whole season, so I am not even going to cover it.

They started off this episode with Angelea talking about how she was attacked the previous week. Lisa saw her vulnerability and felt that she had a better chance because Angelea couldn’t handle the pressures of this life. I wonder how the judges feel about Angelea’s volatility.

Their challenge was to write a blog for Vogue Italia. Being a blog writer is one of the prizes, so doing good on this challenge was a great way to show they would do well with winning the competition. They were to pick out an outfit, and go to a location, take photos, and write about being in Crete for a couple weeks. Each girl had an angle that fit who they were and their brand. Nigel came back to collect their blogs and he and Franca Sozzani went over them and chose a winner. They were to reveal the winners the next evening.

Tyra wrote a book. It’s called Modelland. She decided to make a motion editorial for it. It’s like an editorial picture, except on film. She goes through the whole things as if it’s a small movie, and it would take two days to shoot. They will show the finished product over two weeks of judging. This week they’ll show the beginning and choose the top three. Next week, they’ll show the finish and the editorial will show who wins this Cycle.

The shoot itself was pretty interesting to watch, but there’s not much to recap without going into the plot of the book. If you care about that, buy the book. Lisa did really well in the shoot. I feel like they set Laura up not to do well. She had a scene where she had to pour endless amounts of whipped cream into her mouth. How can anyone do that and not appear overtly sexy? Angelea had an emotional moment, but it worked for her scene. Allison was having trouble with her eyes, but she also did well.

After the day’s shooting, Nigel came by to see the girls while they were having dinner. Did I mention I hate the way Lisa chews? Yuck. Allison’s blog was too high-fallutin’. Laura had a good blog, but it didn’t fit her brand. Lisa’s blog was good, but they wanted more fashion talk. Angelea’s blog was good. She talked about fashion, compared the land to where she was from, and exhibited a certain amount of class. They picked Angelea to win. It was her first challenge win and she won a trip back to Greece for 7 days for 2 people. Good for her. I like when she proves to herself and others that she’s got what it takes.

The second day of shooting was cool too. Also, Tyson Beckford is the guy in this editorial. He’s the world’s best known male supermodel. Angelea of course had a fit when he walked in. He ended up being the guest judge that week. Not much else to mention, so I’ll move on.

I loved Tyra’s outfit in the judging panel. I love suspenders and capes, I never thought they could go together. I want that outfit, but not that color. My wedding dress is the only taupe thing I like wearing. I hated what Allison was wearing. Electric green pants? Really? Sigh. The motion editorial was… interesting. I get the concept of how it’s supposed to be, but it’s not… my kind of art. But I found it interesting to be sure… I was tickled because after they showed it, Tyra kept asking the girl, “how was that for you?’

The top two were: Lisa D’Amato and Angelea Preston. The bottom two were Allison Harvard and Laura Kirkpatrick. They were worried that Laura’s bubbly personality wasn’t enough. They were worried that Allison’s introverted personality wasn’t enough. Ultimately, they went with Allison. She is the better model, but she’s also more unique and that’s was prevailed. Tyra told her she really had to shine in terms of personality in the next week. We’ll see who wins.

If I had to pick now, I’d say, Lisa is most likely to win, but I’d prefer Angelea to win.


Everyone on Grey’s Anatomy Is Old As Hell!! Updated 4/19/16

UPDATED 04/19/16: I’m removing the characters I never calculated the ages for, and merging information for characters into a new post.

UPDATED 10/24/15: For some reason, this post is getting a lot of views, so I’m updating it with what I know, and including the newer characters. At this point, I’m writing this a few days after Season 12 episode 5 airs. [Edits are able to be seen by their presence inside these bracket thingees.]

A quick recap of how I’m counting time for this latest update focusing on Meredith Grey: Her residency class finished residency and became fellows or attendings in the start of Season 9, where Grey is already 3 weeks pregnant. It seems that she carries her baby to almost-if-not-definitely full term, so Season 10 begins 9 months-ish later. We’re to a full year later during season 10 when Matt & April almost get married. Her pregnancy carries into Season 11, where they induce labor at what looks to be about 6 months of pregnancy. Not too long after that is when Derek comes home for a weeks/months, then dies, and Meredith is gone for the length of a full term pregnancy, let’s just say 9 months because it obviously take a while to find out she’s pregnant. Total time 3 years and some change, 2-3 months

UPDATED 04/02/15: It’s not clear looking at this post today, but I just want to remind everyone that I wrote this in December of 2011. So if you’re reading this in the spring of 2015, add 3-4 years to everyone’s ages.

 

Sometimes at work, there are lulls. Occasionally, I fill the time by reading Wikipedia. That involves starting somewhere like with a movie or television show that has an ensemble cast and going from link to link reading interesting things. Without playing 53 degrees of separation (which is a real thing when it comes to Wikipedia), I will say that I started with Revenge, the new show on ABC, and ended up looking up Ginnifer Goodwin’s filmography.

I will love you forever if you can make that connection. But by looking at her filmography, I got to the movie Ramona and Beezus, which I didn’t see, but includes Sandra Oh in the cast. I remember her from the movie The Princess Diaries and I remembered I’ve always wondered how old she is. 40! She plays a resident, but she’s 40.

Then I got suspicious. I started looking up all the characters. They’re [almost] all old as hell. Katherine Heigl is still in her thirties, but of course she isn’t still on the show.  It’s not fair to call them old as hell because they’re not, but they’re just… much older than the characters they play.

Age comes into play a lot on this show. Teddy’s husband was being ridiculed for wanting to go to med school, old as he is, but his wife on the show actually has three years on him in real life. Hell, Meredith and Cristina are both older than him in real life. It’s mind boggling. Poor Kate Walsh, who’s only two years older than Ellen Pompeo, but she got sent to a show with the old folks because she actually looks her age.

This is quite the mind-fuck for me. Not very many characters on this show are being played by an actor that’s even close to the right age besides Patrick Dempsey. Even Eric Dane is years younger than his character. I’m going to stop rambling and just lay it out there. [the years in the show pass slower than real life years, at least as far as I can tell from doing the math based on events that happen, so a lot of the actors have less of an age difference with their characters now.]

Ellen Pompeo: plays Meredith Gray; actual age is [45]; character’s age is around 37-ish (completed college at 25, did nothing for 3 or so years, 4 years med school, [5 years surgical resident, 2 years attending, 1 year “sabbatical”, 1st year general surgery chief]). [Age as of late 2015: 40-ish. This is after starting her attending years, has baby #2, then goes through Derek’s whole deal with the White House research, then his death and baby #3. Can I just say how crazy cool it is that this woman with a “hostile uterus” is able to give birth to two children at the age she did.]

Sandra Oh: plays Cristina Yang; actual age is [44]; character’s age is around 35-ish (completed college at 22, Ph.D. for 4 or so years, 4 years med school, [5 years surgical resident, 1 year attending, 2nd year as director of hospital in Zurich]). [Age as of late 2015: 38-ish. Miss her.]

Katherine Heigl: played Izzie Stevens; actual age is [36]; character’s age would be around 32 (completed college at 23, 4 years med school, would have been [5 years surgical resident, 3rd year doing who cares what]). Like I said, the only one who would be the right age is gone. [Age as of late 2015: 35. Don’t miss her.]

Justin Chambers: plays Alex Karev; actual age is [45]; character’s age is around 31 (completed college at 22, 4 years med school, [5 years surgical resident, 2 years fellowship, few months with Dr. Butthole, 1st year attending] ). [Age as of late 2015: 34. It’s crazy that the actor was 35 when the show started and now, 10.5 years later, his character is just catching up. But it’s not the actor’s fault that in 10 years and 12 seasons, they’ve only covered 8 years and some change.]

T.R. Knight: played George O’Malley; actual age is [42]; character’s age would have been around 31 (completed college at 22, 4 years med school, [made it to, but not through his 3rd year of residency]).[Age as of late 2015: Character died at age 29.]

Chandra Wilson: plays Miranda Bailey; actual age is [46]; character’s age is around 37 (completed college at age 24, 4 years med school, 5 years surgical residency, [6 years as attending, 1st year as surgery chief]). [Age as of late 2015: 40]

James Pickens, Jr.: plays Richard Webber; actual age is [60]; character’s age is around 59 (completed college at age 22, 4 years med school, 1 year residency pre-sleeping with Ellis Grey + Meredith Grey’s age – 5). We have a winner for age correctness and still on the show! [Age as of late 2015: around 62, now the age difference between actor and character is even less, whoo!]

Kate Walsh: plays Addison Montgomery; actual age is [48]; character’s age is around 43 (completed college at 22, 6 years college + phD program, 4 years med school, 5 year surgical residency, and some other stuff, but she was 39 in the season 3 finale of Grey’s Anatomy (which covered 4.5 years of time in 8 seasons).[Age as of late 2015: 46-ish. Really miss her, and Private Practice, she ought to come back for another difficult surgery. Or better yet, to learn form Arizona!]

Sara Ramirez: plays Callie Torres; actual age is [40]; character’s age is around 37 (completed college at age 22, 4 years med school, 2 years peace corps, 5 year surgical residency, [5 years as attending, 2nd year as chief of Ortho]). [Age as of late 2015: 40. Her daughter was born heading into Meredith’s last year as resident. which means Sofia is only coming up on her fourth birthday, but that kid looks older than that, right?]

Eric Dane: plays Mark Sloan; actual age is [42] character’s age [would’ve been around 45] (completed college at age 22, 4 years med school, 5 year surgical residency, basically the same age as Derek and Addison, he ad Derek were friends as kids). [Age as of late 2015: deceased at age 43, so damn sad about this one, I would pay to see him being a father to Sofia.]

Chyler Leigh: plays Lexie Grey; actual age is [33]; character’s age [would’ve been 30] (completed college at age 19, 4 years med school, [made it to but not through 5th year surgical residency]). [Age as of late 2015: deceased at age 28. I love Maggie, but at this point I’ve got my fingers crossed that family members of Meredith’s stop showing up; it only ever ends one way.]

Brooke Smith: plays Erica Hahn; actual age is [48]; they never quite get around to her age, but she’s at least 31 (completed college at age 22, 4 years med school, 5 year surgical residency, and she was in the same year of school as Preston Burke). [Age as of late 2015: mid 40s, a much more accurate guess than I had before because we know she’s in the age range of Preston Burke].

Kevin McKidd: plays Owen Hunt; actual age is [42] ; character’s age is around 45 (completed college at age 23, 4 years med school, 5 year surgical residency, joined the Army after 9/11/01, discharged in 2008, 4 years as attending, 1-ish year chief of surgery, 1st year chief of trauma surgery]). [Age as of late 2015: around 48]

Jessica Capshaw: plays Arizona Robbins; actual age is [39]; they never quite get around to her age, but she’s at least 31 (completed college at age 22, 4 years med school, 5 year surgical residency, [2-3 years that we know of at Seattle Grace as an attending, 3rd year as pediatric surgery chief, including <12 months accelerated fellowship with Dr. Herman ). [Age as of late 2015: 42, what voodoo do these doctors have access to where they are casually deciding to have all these babies at their age? 41 isn’t old, but there are so many increased risks and Arizona has a long history of freaking all the way out when stuff gets tough, so I’m surprised it seemed like an easy decision for her to try to carry the baby instead of using a surrogate on the first attempt.]

Kim Raver: plays Teddy Altman; actual age is [46]; they don’t say her age, but her character’s age is at least 43 (completed college at age 22, 4 years med school, 5 year surgical residency, 2 years fellowship, joined Army after 9/11/01). [Age as of late 2015: at least 46, I miss her too, though it was clear. I wonder if she found love again, and I’m hoping she got a kick ass job as cardio chief at another hospital.]

Sarah Drew: plays April Kepner; actual age is [35]; character’s age is around 31 (completed college at age 22, 4 years med school, [5 years surgical resident, 3rd year attending, including sabbaticals to do some Doctors without Borders type situation for months at a time]). [Age as of late 2015: 34]

Jesse Williams: plays Jackson Avery; actual age is [34]; character’s age is around 31 (completed college at age 22, 4 years med school, 5 years surgical resident, 1-2 year attending, 1-2 years into being plastics chief (after Mark died)]). [Age as of late 2015: 34]

Isaiah Washington: plays Preston Burke; actual age is [52]; all they ever mention about the character is he is 40-something. [Age as of late 2015: gotta be mid-40s by now].

Patrick Dempsey: plays Derek Shepherd; actual age is [49]; character’s age [would’ve been around 46] (completed college at age 22, 4 years medical school, then got married in 1994, 5 year surgical residency, fellowship , etc.) [Age as of late 2015: deceased at age 45-ish. Totally unrelated, I didn’t know Dempsey was leaving the show for reals, so I got no emotional payout from his death, I literally believed none of it until after the episode ended and his heartbeat didn’t spontaneously start again on it’s own and then I googled him and found out. #viewerfail]

[NEWER CAST]

Jason George: plays Ben Warren; actual age is 43; character’s age is around 37 (completed college at age 22, 4 years medical school, 4 year anesthesia residency, came to Seattle Grace from Mercy West as an attending, so let’s say he was an attending for 2-ish years, then attending at Seattle Grace for 2 years, 1 year surgical residency at UCLA, now in his 3rd year surgical residency after the transfer home), but likely older depending on how long he was at Mercy West.

I had to take some guesses on some of their ages based on character information available, but [so much of ]this cast is a walking ad for taking care of your skin. And also proof that you shouldn’t look too deep into a show. But two people caught my eye as being way older than I expected (thanks, Sandra Oh and Ellen Pompeo), and it was downhill from there. Downhill from over the hill, that is.

Have you ever been way too obsessed with something? Seriously, I’ve been working on this blog post since November 11th, 2011. I need a new hobby.


America’s Next Top Model, C17 E10

Dominique got best photo last week, and her photo displayed in the house really did look beautiful. Her underwear looked like a bathing suit and it didn’t seem at all weird that she was laying in a bowl of oversized Greek salad. The main joy I got from seeing her picture is knowing that I won’t have to hear Shannon equivocating anymore. “I won’t wear underwear.” Whatevs, good riddance.

They keep showing Angelea giving her opinions about Dominique. She thinks she’s a better model than Dominique and she’s seriously confused as to why the judges think Dominique’s picture was better than hers. I wonder if there is something brewing that they’ve been building up to these last couple episodes or if they’re just trying to find some drama because there isn’t any in the house anymore. But perhaps they just wanted to start a story about Angelea’s insecurities. She does have a lot of those.

For the challenge, the girls had to evaluate each other with constructive criticism, whether positive or negative. It’s as if it was a casting, but for each girl the judge is all the other girls still in the competition. Laura was up first, then Lisa, then Allison, and then the others. Right away, there was a mix of good and bad comments. None of them were really wrong, but they definitely weren’t all constructive.

As part of the challenge, they had each girl say who didn’t deserve to win. Laura, Lisa, and Allison all wouldn’t pick one person. But Dominique, now my girl, she definitely did! She picked Angelea because of her lack of confidence. Wasn’t expecting that one from Ms. Positive, but I liked it. And oooh did she open up a can of worms! Each girl tried to explain to Angelea that she had a wall up and always took things negatively and could use more confidence. She walked out and said the girls could kiss her ass. Way to prove exactly what they were saying. You took it negatively, put your wall up, and walked out and retreated instead of discussing it like an adult. I like Angelea, but damn that girl could use a look in the mirror.

For their photo shoot, they’re shooting on a cliff with a beautiful view. The shoot is for ancient Greece, especially the Olympics. They’re using fashion accessories that re-create some of the ancient Olympic sports. The photographer is Nigel Barker, one of the judges. I love when he’s the photographer. Dominique was up first. Her shoot went well, but Nigel found himself wondering who she was. They interspersed that with shots of Angelea calling Dominique boring. I know from previous cycles that once Nigel determines your personality can’t be sussed out, you’re screwed until you step it up.

Allison was worried about her shoot since she was voted the girl with the least potential during the challenge. She didn’t really get it when Nigel explained how she should be using the discus. She was awkward, but then got better as the shoot went on. Lisa was doing hurdles, and I wonder how it’s going to go. Nigel criticized her for jumping previously, so she was playing it safe. He fussed at her and got her back on track. She did so amazing after that, at least according to Nigel and Mr. Jay. I couldn’t tell the shots because she was jumping.

Laura did archery. She also had a birdcage type veil mask thing over her face. I hope she can push through that veil. It’s been many a girl’s downfall in previous cycles. Nigel and Mr. Jay were loving her shots. Angelea was the shotput. Nigel felt that she didn’t really get the idea and then was very awkward. I can’t imagine how her best shot is going to look.

The girl’s photos in panel looked all pretty good. No one really bombed, but that’s pretty much expected from these girls. The top photos were: Laura Kirkpatrick, Allison Harvard, and Lisa D’Amato. The bottom two were Angelea Preston and Dominique Reighard. Dominique’s problem was that she wasn’t memorable. Angelea is memorable, but her pictures weren’t as good as Dominique’s. Also, the judges worried that she breaks under pressure.

They picked Angelea to stay. Memorable wins the day. Tyra really encouraged her to find her strength because they next stages of the competition are not going to be like previous cycles. Poor Dominique will probably develop a phobia about photographing with Nigel Barker now. On both of her cycles, she’s gone home the week Nigel was the photographer. Anyway, I’m excited to see what will be coming up in these episodes leading up to the final.


America’s Next Top Model, C17 E9

This week they started off with the girls congratulating Angelea for sticking around after she and Alexandria were in the bottom two. I think this is the first season where all the people who were causing drama and contention in the house get gone soon. Bianca is gone and Alexandria is gone. Lisa doesn’t seem to bother anyone else as much as she bothers me, so she’s still around.

And of course, the show had to stir up some drama. There are only 6 girls left, so what could there possibly be? Well, it turns out that Angelea isn’t really a fan of Dominique. She wants to like her, but she just doesn’t. She thinks Dominique isn’t being genuine. I can understand that. She loves her, but she’s not in love with her.

I knew the international trip was coming up, and I was excited to see how it would be introduced. My favorite introductions so far is anytime they go to Asia. This season…. they’re going to Greece! It was introduced by two men walking into the girls’ house behind Andre Leon Talley and ending up smashing stacks of plates on the floor. It wasn’t exactly and Opa! moment, but it got the point across once it was explained. Then a Greece banner unfolded. They danced around a bit, then went and packed for the flight.

When they land in Athens, Greece, they are greeted by Miss J and the host of America’s Next Top Model Greece. She tells them they have a challenge they have to do. They are taking  a short flight to Crete and they will have to do a press conference when they get there, complete with Greek words. It’s a challenge and the winner gets a piece of jewelry from one of Greece’s most exclusive jewelers.

Lisa went first, and she made them laugh and seemed appealing enough until she invited them all, “let’s rock and roll!!!”. Allison said a ton of Greek words and Miss J really liked her. Shannon got up on her soap box and you could hear the crickets. Dominique has terrible pronunciation of Greek words; just God-awful (great dress though). Poor dyslexic Laura got lost as soon as she said, “I’m Laura,” but at least she’s adorable. Angelea continues to impress me with how much class she can exude, that is until she asks for the bathroom.

Angelea would have won the challenge had she not asked for the bathroom. Allison ended up winning and she got a gorgeous piece of bling. The next morning, they brought in Michael Cinco to design a gown for them to wear in the final runway show. Only the top two girls walk in the show, so that’s some intrigue for coming weeks. I’m looking forward to see who’s dress comes to life.

For their photo shoot, the girls are shooting in a Greek salad modelling in underwear. Shannon has decided she doesn’t do underwear years and years ago. Too bad it wasn’t a bikini shoot, because she’d do a damn string bikini, but not boy shorts. Whatever. The photographer is Nikos Papadopoulos, who shoots for Greece’s Vogue.

The stylist for the shoot told Shannon it was easier to change the model than the prototype. I was cracking up because she started her statement with, “no offense.” Shannon decided not to do the shoot. Maybe self-righteous Barbie can finally go home. Dominique did really well on her shoot, and I’m glad for her that she’s managed to bring out her sexy and feminine side. Angelea also did well, at least once she laid down. Not that many people would look that good pouring olive oil on themselves in a huge bowl of Greek salad.

Laura was feeling well, and I was really hoping it wouldn’t affect her shoot. Allison didn’t do so well because the sun was too bright and when she opened her eyes they teared up. Luckily for her, Shannon is probably guaranteeing the safety of all the girls this week. Lisa walks on set and immediately irritated me again. Do you know the difference between good and well? When you should use well, good, better, etc.? Yeah, Lisa doesn’t know the difference. I used gooder in a blog post title on purpose. She used the word well when she should have used the word good. She might as well have said irregardless or mixed up when to use I versus me. That type of ignorance just drives me up a wall. It’s one thing to not know, it’s another to behave as if you’re well learned on the subject and just be dead wrong. Yuck.

But on another note, Lisa’s shoot possibly went well. They didn’t actually show any reaction of the other girls or Mr. Jay or the photographer. Whatever. Laura got in the bowl and it went well for her, but it’s wasn’t amazing. Shannon was hoping that because she stuck true to her brand, she wouldn’t get penalized for not doing the shoot. Here’s hoping she was dead wrong.

They launched right into the photo analysis at panel and the girls photos were all pretty good. The look on Nigel’s face when Shannon walked up was priceless. He was just over it. He mentioned how all the other girls looked like they were wearing bikinis and not underwear. If I were a producer of this show, I would’ve picked that shoot too, if only to try and show Shannon how ridiculous she was being. Moving on. The rest of the photos were good too. There wasn’t one bad photo in the bunch.

The top photos were: Dominique Reighard, Allison Harvard, Angelea Preston, and Lisa D’Amato.

The bottom two were Laura Kirkpatrick and Shannon Stewart. They think Laura isn’t really sticking with her brand of being lovable and adorable from week to week. They think Shannon is sticking to her brand in a way that’s confusing.

The girl who stayed was: Laura Kirkpatrick. Tyra told her she had to embrace her brand a little better. They said bye to Shannon and wished her well on her journey. Good riddance Self-Righteous Barbie.


America’s Next Top Model, C17 E8

The first challenge the girls they had to star in their own music video. The idea is that to be famous in these times is to have a video go viral on the internet. They had this little girl, Madison, who is a YouTube sensation do the Tyra mail. From the video, it looked like the girls had to write their own songs as well. That had to end in disaster because they each have multiple talents, but I doubt any of them are song writers.

The goal is for the video to go viral. I wonder if the girl who wins is the one who gets the most hits online They brought in Tom Polce who is a music producer for CBS Records to co-write the songs and produce the music videos. There are tracks already done for each girl. They have 20 min to write lyrics to it. Allison was worried because she doesn’t sing.

Turns out the winner of the challenge is the one who gets picked by the producer as the best. The prize is that the winner gets a loved one flown in to visit them. Lisa won the song writing challenge, which wasn’t really a surprise since she’d been writing songs for years. Her fiancé is who she expected to fly out to see her. But before that happened, these girls went to the studio, and ooooh, it was rough. They are not all singers. In fact, only a couple of them could sing. Allison seemed to have been worried for no reason. Her song was emotional and she could sing pretty well, relatively speaking. Lisa’s fiancé came to visit. And she was happy. Yay.

The next step was the music video each girl had to do for their song. While they were in hair and makeup, The Game came in. Angelea freaked out. That girl is on top of pop culture, I tell ya. She freaks out every time they bring a man on, but she extra freaked out this time. It was pretty funny. She’s so adorable when she’s star struck. He was actually there to direct their music videos.

The videos weren’t too remarkable. Alexandria’s was remarkably bad. As dramatic as she is, I expected more, but you can’t win them all. Lisa’s was amazing. Laura’s was cute. Shannon finally found something that fits her brand that felt genuine. Of course, it’s not hard to look angelic with sheer hanging sheets floating around you. Angelea also wasn’t so hot. I expected more from her. Allison’s video looks like it was going to turn out really well. Like, really really well.

In panel, they went through each girl’s song. I don’t think any of them sucked. I don’t really get into the whole viral video thing, so I wasn’t a fan of Tyra and small fry in all the vids, but whatever. I have to admit, seeing Lisa’s video, I was really impressed. Hers looked like a real music video and Tyra and small fry even fit into it. I dare say it was the best by far. She reached her goal of being 700% better than everyone else. The only girl who came close was Allison and that was more about her vulnerability and beauty than anything else.

The top girls were: Allison Harvard, Lisa D’Amato (who had a BF that Allison beat her), Dominique Reighard, Laura Kirkpatrick, and Shannon Stewart.

The bottom two were Angelea Preston and Alexandria Everett. Alexandria wasn’t doing so good as being more than a model. Angelea wasn’t being fun to watch. Angelea was picked to stay. Her performance was stronger than Alexandria’s. I will miss Alexandria, I really liked her, but she didn’t really ever perform up to par this competition. Oh well. And then there were six.

They have to be getting ready to leave the country sometime soon. I figure they’ll bring it up in the next episode. I also can’t wait to hear what Lisa had to say about not getting best video in the next episode.


America’s Next Top Model, C17 E7

The episode started with Lisa talking about how now that Bre was gone, Bianca didn’t have a bodyguard anymore. After that whooping Bianca gave her during the flag football game, I’d love to see what Lisa thinks she can do to Bianca with her “bodyguard” gone. Please.

Alexandria talked about how she got knocked off her game when Tyra said her picture looked like a reality TV star. Now that I know the point of this week’s photo shoot, I bet Tyra said that to give her a boost. They’re suppose to pose as reality TV stars at the shoot. Tyra really likes Alexandria, and I think she was trying to give her a heads up for exactly what she could do to get a good picture in this shoot.

Shannon drives me crazy! She said they want her pictures to be edgier, but she refused to go “raunchy” even to win this competition because it’s not part of her brand. That girl drives me crazy!!! How does edgy equate to raunchy? Looking like something other than a Precious Moments angel doesn’t mean you have to look like Lisa with her mouth open and legs spread apart in every shot. There is a middle ground. Sheesh!

Their challenge was to create a signature perfume scent. The girls were pretty excited about this challenge . They brought in Ben Bennett who works behind the scene with a lot of fragrances. They each picked three scents and his team blended them together to make each girl’s signature scent.

Lisa: “Neon” is supposed to be a fun girly scent that like a wild party on the beach.

Laura: “Love” is supposed to be a sassy and sexy scent.

Dominique: “Survivor”

Shannon: “Smitten” represents pure. How does smitten represent pure? I dunno.

Angelea: “Angelea” I love that she named her scent after herself. She’s confident without being a megalomaniac like… ahem…. Bianca. I love Bianca, but that girl’s opinion of herself borders on too high. But Miss Angelea is just right.

Allison: “Honey Blood” If you watched her cycle, you totally get it. It may end up only being sold in Hot Topic and Urban Outfitters, but hey, it fits her brand.

Kayla: “Free” I hear crickets, is anybody surprised or impressed by that? That girl really took her brand name to heart and she is using circular knowledge and definitions to support it. Free doesn’t equate to proud lesbian or a meager upbringing only, honey. If you want more mass appeal, step from behind the vagina and the double wide!

Bianca : “Candid” she also chose to use her brand name. It’s supposed to be for tough bad girls. I don’t know that I buy tough bad girl when she’s afraid of everything, but I guess you can be a tough bad girl without being adventurous.

Alexandria: “Diamondatrix” It’s definitely unique and interesting. They showed the girls being incredibly bored while she was getting her scent together. It was kind of funny. I really like her, but I”m guessing the producers don’t because they seem to try and get her to appear negatively in every way possible.

The second part of the challenge was to sell their fragrances to a crowd– from a bathtub. Bianca didn’t like the idea. She had a very interesting reasoning. She said Tyra would never sell her fragrance from a bathtub. She’s probably right about that. She wants to be taken seriously and not be a gimmick. I can understand that, but I can only imagine how this will go over. And giving up her chance at immunity (which will be given to the challenge winner) ahead of time isn’t the smartest decision.

The crowd gave the girls each a score, the highest scorer according to the crowd wins. It was interesting watching the ladies try and sell their brands. Some of the girls did a good job of representing their scents. Others didn’t. The prize was really amazing. There in an America’s Next Top Model scent coming out and the winner of the challenge will be the face of that scent. It’s a million dollar campaign. They didn’t say how much the girl got paid though. But it’s still a big deal. The winner was: Lisa. I guess it’s easy to say you’re gonna be wild and then go “Whoooo!” for two hours. Whatevs.

Their photoshoot was to portray reality TV stars. The photographer was Mike Rosenthal.  Alexandria didn’t take this shoot as an opportunity to do what she knew was going to work well, she took it as a bigger challenge to look high fashion. Oh well. Shannon didn’t know how to be a reality TV star because she doesn’t watch those shows. Whatever, you see the magazines in the grocery store, or watch Saturday Night Live or something. Come on girl.

Kathy Griffin was the guest judge for this week’s panel. She’s hilarious and I can only imagine the critiques she’ll give. And she was hilarious of course. The girls were right about this being a double elimination. I love that the judges didn’t even mention it until it was time to hand out photos. They should be getting closer to getting a plane to another country soon, so two had to go.

The top photos were: Lisa D’Amato, Angelea Preston, Laura Kirkpatrick, Alexandria Everett, Allison Harvard, Dominique Reighard.

The bottom three were Shannon Stewart, Kayla Ferrel, and Bianca Golden. Shannon is seen as somebody who is too safe to stand out. Kayla also doesn’t stand out, and is too watered down. Bianca’s problem is that the judges fear she isn’t coachable. The girl who got the photo is Shannon.

I was so surprised. Seriously, Shannon? She’s so boring and plain and safe. Tyra wants to give her another chance. I guess we’ll see if her chance was worth it. It’s interesting that at the beginning of the episode, Kayla and Bianca were having a conversation about each other’s strengths and weaknesses. They both thought the other had a fatal flaw, but I had no idea that they were both so right about the other. Ugh, if it were up to me, I would have gotten rid of Shannon over Bianca any day. I guess I just don’t like her boring ass.


America’s Next Top Model, C17 E6

Last week LaToya Jackson saved Lisa and Angelea. I started watching this episode hoping it was Lisa’s last. Just watching her talk and watching her chew and ugh, she irritates me just by standing there. They re-hashed the whole thing with Bianca and her again. Bianca is a bit much, but I like her, so I’m on her side and I’m hoping Lisa gets gone.

Bre started talking about how she’s always there for Bianca, but now it’s time for her to start thinking about herself because she’s always in the bottom three and four. By changing up her focus, she expects to do better this week.

Their first challenge is a charity flag football game. They brought in 4 NFL players (one of whom is Jahvid Best from my Fantasy Football team, woot!) and also the eliminated girls from earlier in the cycle. They split the girls into the blue team and the red team. Bianca took the game as an opportunity to settle some scores. She was on the blue team and Lisa and Shannon were on the red team. She was throwing ‘bows for real!

I have to say I enjoyed the recaps of those whoopings. And even better, the blue team won! The NFL players won $2500 each for their charities. Kayla won the challenge. Part of her prize was jewelry. The other part was a photo shoot that goes up on Tyra’s website Type F. Andre Leon Talley did the styling for the shoot. Her shoot went really well.

Their photo shoot was a “good ole bitch fight”. They had supermodel Coco Rocha posing with them. The girls got split into pairs to pose with her. The photographer was Douglas Friedman. Angelea was immediately intimidated and her shoot sucked at first. Mr. Jay took her to the side and talked her down and she got waaaay better and her shoot actually turned out alright. The look for the shoot was a couture glam modern take on the late 1970s.

Shannon was paired with Bianca. They had a lot of issues last week, but they worked it out for the shoot. They worked really well together. Good for them.

Kayla was paired with Allison. Kayla (and I) expected Allison to kill her, but Allison looked really lost and never really found her footing in the shot. Kayla did pretty well, but Mr. Jay said they both looked really amateur.

Laura was paired with Angelea. Laura kept doing this fall thing like she was getting knocked over. I already said that Angelea’s shoot didn’t start well. I hadn’t yet mentioned the tears. She started crying out of nowhere. Jay talked to her and tried to make her feel better. That was really nice of him. I felt like it was a coin flip on whether he would console her or tell her to get it together. She came back and had it together.

Alexandria was paired with Bre. They seemed to think it was a good idea to be the loudest of the day. I don’t know why Bre thought being loud would make a better picture as opposed to say… posing better. But she screamed so much and threw Coco off her game. Mr. Jay was trying to give her tips, but it didn’t go well. Alexandria also was lackluster. I was underwhelmed and everyone else seemed to be too. Later, Alexandria said, “all we needed to do was be loud.” Then she and Bre high-fived. Uh… no… hell no. I think that was the dumbest thing said this entire episode and Lisa did a lot of talking.

Lisa was paired with Dominique. Dominique looked beautiful. Lisa was over-the-top. Over-the-top could work for this type of shoot. Mr. Jay was really impressed with their shoot. He said they were the perfect trio of the day. They should have a great photo.

At panel, they jumped right into the photos. Not much worth mentioning, except that they all thought Bianca upstaged Shannon in their photo though they both looked good. That makes me happy cause I think that Shannon is a bit full of crap about her whole sensitivit thing. She does some mean ass and wild girl ass shit that the camera keeps catching and I call bullshit.

The top photos were: Dominique Reighard, Lisa D’Amato, Bianca Golden, Angelea Preston, Allison Harvard, Kayla Ferrel, Shannon Stewart, and Laura Kirkpatrick.

The bottom two were Alexandria Everett and Bre Scullark. They were in the bottom two, showing their “all we needed to do was be loud” strategy didn’t work out so well. Bre feels guarded except in this last shoot. Her performance on set didn’t translate to a good photo. Alexandria used to have amazing photos in her previous cycle, but not so much in this cycle. The judges felt like she was losing her competitive edge and getting soft.

Alexandria got picked to stay. Bre didn’t even wait to say good bye. She hugged Alexandria and then walked away. Poor Bianca looked like she was about to cry. I wonder how she will do in the next episode.


America’s Next Top Model, C17 E5

Last week’s episode saw Angelea get the top photo and Camille went home. I was glad to see that because I really like Angelea and can’t stand Camille. Aside from her characterization on the show, what she said about Isis in an earlier episode is still rubbing me the wrong way.

What did she say exactly? They were doing a photo shoot and she stated she wouldn’t be outdone by someone who isn’t a real woman. She needs an ass-whooping and a lesson about sex, gender, and sexuality. Asshole, good riddance.

Bianca is causing drama because of her emerging megalomania. She thinks she’s above the competition and the other girls because she’s “the real model.” This will not end well. Or maybe they’re trying to mix it up and she ends up winning the whole thing. Who knows? She has the skills to win. We’ll see. And after her drama with saintly Shannon, I feel two things. 1: bad for Bianca and 2: irritation toward Lisa. I’m ready for her to go home. That Lisa makes me root for Bianca and her delusions. That should tell you how much that girl bothers me.

Quote of the show: “It wasn’t even her fight. Celebrity rehab 4, 5, and 6 is calling her name. I’m done.” Said by Bianca about Lisa. Hilarious!

Their challenge was a carousel runway challenge. That means they will have to walk onto and off of a carousel during the runway show. I’m interested to see who has the ability to make it work. Models are known for their core strength. NOT. This challenge will be funny and interesting if nothing else. They were wearing clothes from the Kardashians for Sears line. I’ve looked at those clothes. Nobody’s waist is that small. I have a tiny tiny waist and I needed a size Large. I refuse to believe the big sister fits those clothes. And they’re not very affordable ($99 for a blazer?). But those clothes sure are hot!

The winners were Bre and Lisa. They each got take home a outfit from head to toe from the collection. Bianca had even more drama after the show. Bre had her back though, listening to all they were saying behind her back. I’m all for standing up when people are ganging up on you for being you. Lisa kept jumping in stuff that didn’t concern her. If you don’t like someone, leave them alone. I’m with Biance and Bre. We don’t have time for that high and mighty mess. Hopefully this will give Bianca what she needs to push forward and deliver a great photo at the shoot.

Their photo shoot was inspired by Michael Jackson. That makes me so happy because I’m a huge fan. LaToya Jackson was on set as the client. Tim Peterson was the photographer. LaToya actually seemed pretty helpful. I can only hope it gets through to the girls. The first person who’s shot I really wasn’t a fan of was Alexandria’s. I’m hoping she got a good photo though. Angelea was also super awkward. I was kind of hoping she’d get top photo two weeks in a row. All the other girls were great, in particular Biance, Bre, and Allison.

Shannon is officially full of shit. She walked past Bianca during the shoot and said, “rejected.” Then when Bianca got upset, Shannon played the victim. Again. “Why does she hate me so much?” “I meant it as a joke.” Why would one make a mean-spirited joke to someone they’ve been having issues with all week. I call bullshit. I call bullshit. And when Bianca said she’s supposed to be a Christian, so why is she being mean, she played the persecuted Christian card. Again I call bullshit. Yes, Christians are persecuted for their faith. But that persecution doesn’t extend to when you’re called out for doing something mean-spirited. Again I call bullshit.

I don’t really talk much about the panel and today, I’ll only say that Lisa’s outfit put Andre Leon Talley in physical pain and Bianca talked about the week’s drama with Tyra after she brought it up. Also, they let LaToya Jackson decide the entire order of the photos. This made me happy because she likes Bianca, so I figured that would increase her chances of making it through this week.

On to the top photos: Laura Kirkpatrick, Shannon Stewart, Dominique Reighard, Allison Harvard, Alexandria Everett, Kayla Ferrel, Bre Scullark, Bianca Golden.

The bottom two were Lisa D’Amato and Angelea Preston. I couldn’t imagine Angelea would be going home. LaToya didn’t choose to send anyone home. I was like, “Whaaaaaa—?!?!”

Sigh, oh well. There will be two going home next week I’m sure. Crossing my fingers that it’s Lisa.


America’s Next Top Model, C17 E4

I wrote about America’s Next Top Model for the last two seasons on my old blogs. To read the posts I wrote about the first three episodes of this Cycle 17, just look below.

Episode 1 Episode 2 Episode 3

Episode 3 saw Isis leave. I was a fan of her for her strength and her style. But she never did do a good job of showing herself through her photos, so she had to go.

Lisa talked about being on celebrity rehab. I didn’t know that because I never watched that show. But I did notice how weird her lips look. I have hang-ups about the way people chew. I officially hate the way she chews. Her unfortunate choice of lipstick colors don’t help.

The girls got mail delivered to the house. Some got gifts and letter from family. Camille talked about how her mail had work and bills. Oh boo-hoo, you’re old as hell and have responsibilities. I don’t know why this chick drives me up a wall. She’s just got this veneer and I don’t like it.

Kayla had a health scare that had been advertised throughout all the commercials for the show up to this point. She took a ridiculous combination of pills and her heart started racing. She got nauseous, threw up, and was rushed to the emergency room. It turns out she has an arrhythmia. Finding it in a way that won’t kill you can actually end up saving your life later, but it’s still pretty scary because it feels like a mini heart attack. She’ll be on edge about that for as long as she’s in this competition I imagine.

Their challenge is an audition for a role on CSI. These girls want to be models, so they never learn science-y words. They had to say this phrase, “Gas Chromatograph Mass Spectrometer”, and hardly any of them could. I feel some kind of way that they seriously couldn’t even remember it. It’s no harder than when they learn a new language for a CoverGirl commercial overseas. Pssshhh! The nerd in me is hating on these uneducated girls.

Anthony Zuiker is the guest judge as well as the judge for this challenge. He’s the producer for all the CSI shows. All the girls sucked except Bre and Angelea, which made me happy because they are the two “hood” chicks. Good for them for rising to the challenge. Bre ended up winning and she will have the guest spot. I can’t wait to see it, I bet it will be great!

Their photo shoot was with Express. An Express ad campaign is one of the prizes, so this was a big photo shoot. Lisa Gavales was on set, and she’s the chief marketing officer for Express. She reminded the girls to be sexy and sophisticated, and to be the girl who wants to get noticed. 

They had four options for what character they were portraying in their photo shoot: Girlfriend, Flirt, Cool Chick, Socialite. They had three male models with them who were in all the shots they took. The photographer was Alvaro Goveia.

Angelea Preston: socialite; Kayla Ferrel: cool chick; Allison Harvard: girlfriend; Bre Scullark: flirt; Dominique Reighard: cool chick; Bianca Golden: flirt; Shannon Stewart: girlfriend; Laura Kirkpatrick: flirt; Alexandria Everett: socialite; Camille McDonald: socialite; Lisa D’Amato: cool chick.

Mr. J was very opinionated about the girls. I felt kind of bad for some of them. Then it was time for judging. I’m just going to skip to the top photos. They were: Angelea Preston, Dominique Reighard, Allison Harvard, Laura Kirkpatrick, Kayla Ferrel, Shannon Stewart, Bre Scullark, Bianca Golden, Alexandria Everett.

The bottom two are: Lisa D’Amato and Camille McDonald. They both made a ton of excuses and the judges had enough. Lisa was completely unpredictable and Camille is too perfect.  They kept Lisa. I have to say I was glad to see Camille go. That comment she made about Isis in the last episode made me so completely done with her.

They showed a clip from next week when the Kardashian sisters show up. Should be fun, I guess. Am I the only one underwhelmed by the Kardashians?