I’ve been wanting to try something new with this blog, but it’s easier said than done. I keep thinking about things I want to say, but then it feels like they’ve already been said. Or it feels trivial. Or it feels like how dare I have a moment of happiness when multiple people are killed by the police almost every damn day.
But I started this blog as a bit of an online journal situation. I have so many thoughts about stuff that happens. And life is still fun at some points, so I want to share that too. For instance, my trials and tribulations trying to get someone to go apple picking this weekend. That could be fun to read about maybe…?
Things are just feeling very transitional right now for me. Not the weather though. The weather is stuck on warm. I woke up this morning feeling itchy because of a fucking mosquito bite. At the end of September. Because I sleep with the windows open. Because it’s still so hot outside. Because global warming.
But my point still stands. A few weeks ago when it was in the 50s, I was so cold when I got out of the shower, and I was missing the summer that I was sure was gone. But now, it’s so damn steamy. I don’t appreciate the heat anymore because it’s the end of September! I will miss it when it’s gone though because I love summer time. But I don’t love it like I usually do around June. Fall clothing is my favorite and the window is possible closing.
It could stay warm for so long that fall weather lasts for two days then it’s winter. Or the global warming could continue and fall weather will last from mid-October to January. Who knows?
Can we all just agree that hurricane season can’t end soon enough though?
I think I’m successfully talking myself into remembering why I found blogging fun. And how maybe I can avoid some of the tone deafness. I won’t be all like, “hey, look at this pie I made and only look at this and let’s all pretend Roger Goodell doesn’t have the moral high ground over Trump for some crazy fucking reason!” It’ll definitely be more like, “hey, had another great night at a jazz club where we drunkenly discussed the best way to undermine white patriarchy.”
Eh, I really just woke up in a writing mood, so this may not last. I wrote a whole bit that was inspired when I read that Hugh Heffner died. It’s far too soon for me to say what I want to say, so I’ll post it in a month or so. The casual misogyny will keep. For the record, totally not accusing Hugh of that by any means. I’ve always viewed him as one of the most women-loving capitalists of our time.
In the mean time, I’m going to get back to planning my boss’s going away hang and finding someone to go apple picking with me.
So, if you asked me on pretty much any given day, I’d swear that blogging was important to me. I think about it a lot. I’ve been working on the Grey’s Anatomy post, updating it for years. And I read so many blogs. So. Many. Blogs.
But I think actions speak louder than words. And my actions show I’ve posted nothing new here on my blog in months. So what do my actions say? They say blogging just isn’t a priority for me. I’d like it to be though.
Hell, I wish I could make time to blog every day. And those blog posts would be adorable and funny, but also intimate and deep, making the blogosphere flock to my every word. I’d turn that popularity into a platform for equality of the live-and-let-live vein. Then ABC would call, and of course, I’d happily appear on the next season of Dancing with the Stars.
But, none of that is likely to happen because I can’t manage more than 20 posts a year…
What it really comes down to is that sometimes stuff happens in life that I just don’t want to write about. Sometimes those things are major and take up all my brain, but it just doesn’t feel publicly discussable. So when that happens, instead of posting cat videos or posting about the other, less-super-important things in life, I just kinda disappear.
Never my intent, but what the hell is intent worth when the end result is the same?
I’m sitting next to my husband Chris, and he’s super shocked that I’m blogging. His exact words were, “holy shit! You still blog?!”
I think that says it all.
So after the most rambling introduction I could come up with, what am I to talk about?
I could talk about my grandfather dying. I could allude to work frustrations, avoiding HIPAA violations to tell funny co-worker stories. I could talk about Chris’s career in music and our crazy New York friends. I could talk about my friends who aren’t in New York and all the wonderful drama in their lives. I could talk about my obsession with TV. I could talk about finally having a fully livable, completely unpacked house (for the first time since Chris and I have lived together!).
Eh, I should probably figure out what this blog is going to be about these days. Having a focus is key. How else am I going to end up on Dancing with the Stars?
I could to about being a shopaholic in denial. I could talk about how domestic I am (three course meal, anyone?). I could talk about how painting my nails is totally my therapy, but it’s the one thing in life I never seem to get better at with more practice. I could talk about my hair (dreadlocks) or my tattoos (I’m up to 6 now). I could talk about my cats; they really have way too much personality. I could talk about my family and my fabulously retired parents.
Maybe I’ll talk about all of that. A lot of how I talk to my friends is just telling stories of things I think are interesting or things that matter to me. I don’t if you can tell that I’m just typing all of this as I’m thinking it, but I’ve decided just now that I’m going to treat this blog going forward as a way to tell my stories.
If something happens that I’d tell one of my friends in a story (assuming it doesn’t violate anyone else’s privacy), I’ll tell it here. Hopefully with pictures or memes to illustrate, because who wants just words?
And now for your viewing pleasure, a picture of my latest tattoo:
This is holly & mistletoe, tied together artistically. It’s designed to match the ivy tattoo on my arm.
I love my tattoo guy. His name is BJ Storms and he works at Code of Conduct in Chicago. He can take my crazy clip art ideas and make something wonderful and artistic from it.
Now let’s all cross our fingers that I post literally anything else between now and the end of the year.
I haven’t posted in a very long time. It’s because I’ve been busy. There’s just so much happening in my life right now, most of it fantastic, that it’s hard to find the time to get to a computer, organize my thoughts, make them somewhat readable, and get them posted.
Let’s just take it one post at a time as see if I can manage to turn myself back into something of a blogger.
So here’s what I’ve been up to.
I work a lot now, like all the time. I basically have every other Sunday off. but it works out because it’s for a good reason. With the work, plus tuition reimbursement at my job, I’m hoping I can pay for grad school outright and now have to take out any additional loans. The loans from med school are killing me.
The other thing that’s taken up a lot of my time is planning. The husband and I have a plan. It’s a three-ish year plan and it goes a little something like this:
2015-I start grad school, he does a live recording for his second album, we start saving like we’re serious. 2016-he finishes grad school, we put out his second album. 2017- not much happens except more saving, some investing, and more school for me. 2018- I finish grad school, hopefully move up in management, we buy a home.
These are big plans that require a lot of things to go right, but it’s a great plan. If we get all of this done, we’ll have pretty much everything we thought we’d want for ourselves by age 35.
You may notice I didn’t mention children. I’ll put it this way, neither of us have said we’re ready or interested in having kids now. If we change our minds, they’ll fit their way into the plan. If not, well… we’re not not trying, so we’ll see.
In the mean time, we’ve been dealing with birthdays, turning 30 and all that. When the husband and I turned 30 last year, things went well and our people did good for us. So we want to make sure we do the same. I’m not saying any more than that for now.
In my free time, I’ve been hanging out in Harlem, which is crazy because I do not love Harlem. But a friend of mine invited me out to this poetry set (which I also do not love), and I’ve been hooked ever since.
I’m all for cultural integration and all of that, but I have to admit, it’s nice to go to Harlem and spend time somewhere where it’s almost nothing but people who look, talk, and act like me. The fact that it’s erotic poetry almost makes it more bearable. Sometimes, I even imagine contributing, but I just can’t do poetry. It’s so not my thing anymore. Maybe a short story? Eh, we’ll see. I’m not the type to seek out spousal approval, but I feel like this might need to go through the proper channels first.
Other than the poetry set, I’ll have dinner or grab a drink or go to see some live music with friends. For a while, I didn’t think I’d make any real friends here in New York. But I’m glad I was wrong. I’ve met some of the most amazing people, who are doing the most amazing things with their lives.
I’ve met musicians, of course, and they are killing. So many talented folks. I just need to have a scene for me in the movie they make about one of these people’s lives one day. Hopefully that scene will be me making dinner for the guys in the Groid Collective or the guys in SkipTone. Or one of our crazy house parties.
My other friends are all interesting too. There’s an actor, a lady who works for a law firm and manages a band at night, a lady who does framing professionally for galleries and museums and is an artist at night, a guy who works exclusively with craft microbrewery beer, a chef, and a couple of entrepreneurs. They’re work stories are just so fascinating. And don’t even get me started on their backgrounds like where their from, what they’re families are like, etc.
I have made it super official that I’m a New Yorker now. I finally went and got my driver’s license switched over. I love the picture, and it was less painless than I thought it would be. Life is a lot easier if you have a passport. The worst part was waiting for them to mail my ID to me. In Illinois, you just sit in a plastic chair for 15 minutes while they make it for you.
But this is not Illinois. Terrible, awful, worst-I’ve-ever-encountered customer service aside, there’s no place better than New York.
Okay, one post down, let’s see if I can manage to write anything else at all this month. Wish me luck!
I fully intend to get back to the topics I’ve been blogging about here and there. These include: 30th birthday bucket list, wine school, what’s hot in…, and my continuing efforts to stay healthy.
I’ve got a lot more to say about those things, but I thought I would start small and see if I can even post more than once a month.
While I wait to prove to myself that I’m not completely full of crap, I’ve been catching up on your blogs. And signing up for ever more stuff.
I already told you I’ve joined Instagram. The drive and desire to post a picture that gets a lot of likes is real. That girl on the new TV show Selfie deserves more sympathy and empathy, y’all. I really like the show anyway, but take away all my meaningful real-life relationships, and I could easily become her. One week on Instagram has taught me that.
Last night, I joined Stitch Fix. It’s a pretty cool website similar to others where they send you monthly stuff. “Stuff” in this case means curated-just-for-you clothes and accessories. I had fun filling out my style profile and I look forward to seeing what they send me.
Leah over at Single Infertile Female posted pictures of her trying on the clothes they sent her. They were cool pieces that fit her style and clothing needs.
Out of the five they sent her, I think she kept two pieces. You buy what you keep, and just mail the rest back to them, in a pre-paid envelope. I’m pretty excited about the possibilities.
On a different note, I’ve done a couple of video tests on my phone to see if I like it enough to post it, but so far I don’t. The videos are nice enough. I like my voice and what I had to say. It took a couple of tries to stop using my “bedroom voice,” but I figured it out.
How does one accidentally use their bedroom voice? I don’t know, but I bet it had something to do with the fact that it was late at night and I was in my bedroom. And maybe I was trying to sound nice for the camera. I’d rather sound like me though.
I did not like the video location or my teeth either. And I kept doing this weird thing with my eyebrows. I probably do it all the time when I’m talking. How do TV people stay still for the camera? It’s so hard.
But I’m going to keep trying. Maybe I won’t focus so much on my teeth, which never benefited from braces, if I change locations. The tests so far were recorded in my bedroom with me just in my bed. The lighting is weird in there, so I had to shoot from below my eye line, instead of my preferred forehead or above height.
My apartment doesn’t have a lot of places to record, so I’m taking to the streets. Maybe with some natural light, I can shoot from a more preferred angle.
I was in the Village, Chelsea, and Harlem yesterday, so that’s three good options.
If it goes well, I will put the video in my next post.