I’ve been wanting to try something new with this blog, but it’s easier said than done. I keep thinking about things I want to say, but then it feels like they’ve already been said. Or it feels trivial. Or it feels like how dare I have a moment of happiness when multiple people are killed by the police almost every damn day.
But I started this blog as a bit of an online journal situation. I have so many thoughts about stuff that happens. And life is still fun at some points, so I want to share that too. For instance, my trials and tribulations trying to get someone to go apple picking this weekend. That could be fun to read about maybe…?
Things are just feeling very transitional right now for me. Not the weather though. The weather is stuck on warm. I woke up this morning feeling itchy because of a fucking mosquito bite. At the end of September. Because I sleep with the windows open. Because it’s still so hot outside. Because global warming.
But my point still stands. A few weeks ago when it was in the 50s, I was so cold when I got out of the shower, and I was missing the summer that I was sure was gone. But now, it’s so damn steamy. I don’t appreciate the heat anymore because it’s the end of September! I will miss it when it’s gone though because I love summer time. But I don’t love it like I usually do around June. Fall clothing is my favorite and the window is possible closing.
It could stay warm for so long that fall weather lasts for two days then it’s winter. Or the global warming could continue and fall weather will last from mid-October to January. Who knows?
Can we all just agree that hurricane season can’t end soon enough though?
I think I’m successfully talking myself into remembering why I found blogging fun. And how maybe I can avoid some of the tone deafness. I won’t be all like, “hey, look at this pie I made and only look at this and let’s all pretend Roger Goodell doesn’t have the moral high ground over Trump for some crazy fucking reason!” It’ll definitely be more like, “hey, had another great night at a jazz club where we drunkenly discussed the best way to undermine white patriarchy.”
Eh, I really just woke up in a writing mood, so this may not last. I wrote a whole bit that was inspired when I read that Hugh Heffner died. It’s far too soon for me to say what I want to say, so I’ll post it in a month or so. The casual misogyny will keep. For the record, totally not accusing Hugh of that by any means. I’ve always viewed him as one of the most women-loving capitalists of our time.
In the mean time, I’m going to get back to planning my boss’s going away hang and finding someone to go apple picking with me.
So, if you asked me on pretty much any given day, I’d swear that blogging was important to me. I think about it a lot. I’ve been working on the Grey’s Anatomy post, updating it for years. And I read so many blogs. So. Many. Blogs.
But I think actions speak louder than words. And my actions show I’ve posted nothing new here on my blog in months. So what do my actions say? They say blogging just isn’t a priority for me. I’d like it to be though.
Hell, I wish I could make time to blog every day. And those blog posts would be adorable and funny, but also intimate and deep, making the blogosphere flock to my every word. I’d turn that popularity into a platform for equality of the live-and-let-live vein. Then ABC would call, and of course, I’d happily appear on the next season of Dancing with the Stars.
But, none of that is likely to happen because I can’t manage more than 20 posts a year…
What it really comes down to is that sometimes stuff happens in life that I just don’t want to write about. Sometimes those things are major and take up all my brain, but it just doesn’t feel publicly discussable. So when that happens, instead of posting cat videos or posting about the other, less-super-important things in life, I just kinda disappear.
Never my intent, but what the hell is intent worth when the end result is the same?
I’m sitting next to my husband Chris, and he’s super shocked that I’m blogging. His exact words were, “holy shit! You still blog?!”
I think that says it all.
So after the most rambling introduction I could come up with, what am I to talk about?
I could talk about my grandfather dying. I could allude to work frustrations, avoiding HIPAA violations to tell funny co-worker stories. I could talk about Chris’s career in music and our crazy New York friends. I could talk about my friends who aren’t in New York and all the wonderful drama in their lives. I could talk about my obsession with TV. I could talk about finally having a fully livable, completely unpacked house (for the first time since Chris and I have lived together!).
Eh, I should probably figure out what this blog is going to be about these days. Having a focus is key. How else am I going to end up on Dancing with the Stars?
I could to about being a shopaholic in denial. I could talk about how domestic I am (three course meal, anyone?). I could talk about how painting my nails is totally my therapy, but it’s the one thing in life I never seem to get better at with more practice. I could talk about my hair (dreadlocks) or my tattoos (I’m up to 6 now). I could talk about my cats; they really have way too much personality. I could talk about my family and my fabulously retired parents.
Maybe I’ll talk about all of that. A lot of how I talk to my friends is just telling stories of things I think are interesting or things that matter to me. I don’t if you can tell that I’m just typing all of this as I’m thinking it, but I’ve decided just now that I’m going to treat this blog going forward as a way to tell my stories.
If something happens that I’d tell one of my friends in a story (assuming it doesn’t violate anyone else’s privacy), I’ll tell it here. Hopefully with pictures or memes to illustrate, because who wants just words?
And now for your viewing pleasure, a picture of my latest tattoo:
This is holly & mistletoe, tied together artistically. It’s designed to match the ivy tattoo on my arm.
I love my tattoo guy. His name is BJ Storms and he works at Code of Conduct in Chicago. He can take my crazy clip art ideas and make something wonderful and artistic from it.
Now let’s all cross our fingers that I post literally anything else between now and the end of the year.
I haven’t posted in a very long time. It’s because I’ve been busy. There’s just so much happening in my life right now, most of it fantastic, that it’s hard to find the time to get to a computer, organize my thoughts, make them somewhat readable, and get them posted.
Let’s just take it one post at a time as see if I can manage to turn myself back into something of a blogger.
So here’s what I’ve been up to.
I work a lot now, like all the time. I basically have every other Sunday off. but it works out because it’s for a good reason. With the work, plus tuition reimbursement at my job, I’m hoping I can pay for grad school outright and now have to take out any additional loans. The loans from med school are killing me.
The other thing that’s taken up a lot of my time is planning. The husband and I have a plan. It’s a three-ish year plan and it goes a little something like this:
2015-I start grad school, he does a live recording for his second album, we start saving like we’re serious. 2016-he finishes grad school, we put out his second album. 2017- not much happens except more saving, some investing, and more school for me. 2018- I finish grad school, hopefully move up in management, we buy a home.
These are big plans that require a lot of things to go right, but it’s a great plan. If we get all of this done, we’ll have pretty much everything we thought we’d want for ourselves by age 35.
You may notice I didn’t mention children. I’ll put it this way, neither of us have said we’re ready or interested in having kids now. If we change our minds, they’ll fit their way into the plan. If not, well… we’re not not trying, so we’ll see.
In the mean time, we’ve been dealing with birthdays, turning 30 and all that. When the husband and I turned 30 last year, things went well and our people did good for us. So we want to make sure we do the same. I’m not saying any more than that for now.
In my free time, I’ve been hanging out in Harlem, which is crazy because I do not love Harlem. But a friend of mine invited me out to this poetry set (which I also do not love), and I’ve been hooked ever since.
I’m all for cultural integration and all of that, but I have to admit, it’s nice to go to Harlem and spend time somewhere where it’s almost nothing but people who look, talk, and act like me. The fact that it’s erotic poetry almost makes it more bearable. Sometimes, I even imagine contributing, but I just can’t do poetry. It’s so not my thing anymore. Maybe a short story? Eh, we’ll see. I’m not the type to seek out spousal approval, but I feel like this might need to go through the proper channels first.
Other than the poetry set, I’ll have dinner or grab a drink or go to see some live music with friends. For a while, I didn’t think I’d make any real friends here in New York. But I’m glad I was wrong. I’ve met some of the most amazing people, who are doing the most amazing things with their lives.
I’ve met musicians, of course, and they are killing. So many talented folks. I just need to have a scene for me in the movie they make about one of these people’s lives one day. Hopefully that scene will be me making dinner for the guys in the Groid Collective or the guys in SkipTone. Or one of our crazy house parties.
My other friends are all interesting too. There’s an actor, a lady who works for a law firm and manages a band at night, a lady who does framing professionally for galleries and museums and is an artist at night, a guy who works exclusively with craft microbrewery beer, a chef, and a couple of entrepreneurs. They’re work stories are just so fascinating. And don’t even get me started on their backgrounds like where their from, what they’re families are like, etc.
I have made it super official that I’m a New Yorker now. I finally went and got my driver’s license switched over. I love the picture, and it was less painless than I thought it would be. Life is a lot easier if you have a passport. The worst part was waiting for them to mail my ID to me. In Illinois, you just sit in a plastic chair for 15 minutes while they make it for you.
But this is not Illinois. Terrible, awful, worst-I’ve-ever-encountered customer service aside, there’s no place better than New York.
Okay, one post down, let’s see if I can manage to write anything else at all this month. Wish me luck!
I fully intend to get back to the topics I’ve been blogging about here and there. These include: 30th birthday bucket list, wine school, what’s hot in…, and my continuing efforts to stay healthy.
I’ve got a lot more to say about those things, but I thought I would start small and see if I can even post more than once a month.
While I wait to prove to myself that I’m not completely full of crap, I’ve been catching up on your blogs. And signing up for ever more stuff.
I already told you I’ve joined Instagram. The drive and desire to post a picture that gets a lot of likes is real. That girl on the new TV show Selfie deserves more sympathy and empathy, y’all. I really like the show anyway, but take away all my meaningful real-life relationships, and I could easily become her. One week on Instagram has taught me that.
Last night, I joined Stitch Fix. It’s a pretty cool website similar to others where they send you monthly stuff. “Stuff” in this case means curated-just-for-you clothes and accessories. I had fun filling out my style profile and I look forward to seeing what they send me.
Leah over at Single Infertile Female posted pictures of her trying on the clothes they sent her. They were cool pieces that fit her style and clothing needs.
Out of the five they sent her, I think she kept two pieces. You buy what you keep, and just mail the rest back to them, in a pre-paid envelope. I’m pretty excited about the possibilities.
On a different note, I’ve done a couple of video tests on my phone to see if I like it enough to post it, but so far I don’t. The videos are nice enough. I like my voice and what I had to say. It took a couple of tries to stop using my “bedroom voice,” but I figured it out.
How does one accidentally use their bedroom voice? I don’t know, but I bet it had something to do with the fact that it was late at night and I was in my bedroom. And maybe I was trying to sound nice for the camera. I’d rather sound like me though.
I did not like the video location or my teeth either. And I kept doing this weird thing with my eyebrows. I probably do it all the time when I’m talking. How do TV people stay still for the camera? It’s so hard.
But I’m going to keep trying. Maybe I won’t focus so much on my teeth, which never benefited from braces, if I change locations. The tests so far were recorded in my bedroom with me just in my bed. The lighting is weird in there, so I had to shoot from below my eye line, instead of my preferred forehead or above height.
My apartment doesn’t have a lot of places to record, so I’m taking to the streets. Maybe with some natural light, I can shoot from a more preferred angle.
I was in the Village, Chelsea, and Harlem yesterday, so that’s three good options.
If it goes well, I will put the video in my next post.
Back again. It’s so hard to post consistently when there is living to do, mood swings to pretend I’m not having, and recaps that feel so cumbersome to put together.
But here I am, back and better than ever.
What makes me better this time?
Well, instead of pressing reset and acting like the time that’s passed didn’t happen, I’m going to pickup where I left off.
I left off talking about helping one of my best friends put together his second-to-last best man speech.
And I was talking about Wine School for the New York Times.
And I was talking about trying to get back in shape, and not really having the motivation to do so. Apparently pre-paying for exercise classes isn’t a great motivator for me.
And I was talking about embracing this wonderful city I now call home. New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of, there’s nothing you can’t do.
I’ve decided I’m going to also start talking more about the reason I’m here. I moved to New York City because of Easy, my jazz musician husband. There’s lot of stuff going on with that to talk about. And when they make a movie about his life and the lives of his contemporaries one day (it’s totally gonna happen), they’ll have some scene where I’m typing away on my blog as I’m cooking the guys dinner. The producers will have to include that scene as a condition of Easy’s participation in the movie. He just doesn’t know it yet, well now that he’s read that sentence, he knows. Hi Easy.
But until the movie gets made, this blog will document the mention-worthy crap that I know about his NYC jazz music world.
The first thing I want to talk about is the effort to get in shape.
I’m coming up on my 30th birthday soon. I have barely started on that bucket list some of my friends and I are doing that I keep promising to talk about. I should’ve put “get back to the size I was at college graduation” on the list.
What’s crazy is that around the time I graduated college, I felt like a fat ass. I weighed 125 lbs, which isn’t a lot at all. But when you’re only 5 feet tall and you have a tiny bone structure, it feels like a lot, especially when I floated around 100 pounds from age 13 to age 21.
But now I’m a good 15 pounds heavier than that. Which, again, I know is not a lot in terms of average adult weight. But all of my friends who weigh that much wear a size 2, 4, or 6. Because I am a ton of inches shorter than them, I’m wider and wear a size 8, pushing a 10 in some brands.
That shit is unacceptable.
If I lost 10 pounds, I’d lose an inch or so all around and immediately drop down a few sizes. I don’t ever want to reach a size 0 or 2 again because my fat girl boobs are kind of awesome (34C woot woot!), but I just want to reduce the jigglies.
My girls back in Chicago and I have a plan. We’re going to start keeping up with each other’s diet/exercise efforts. They all joined myfitnesspal and we’re going to keep each other motivated.
I think that having my girls trying to get healthy with me, along with the varied workout plan I’ve already paid for–and just have to start using– and the ease of online grocery shopping makes it pretty foolproof to stay on track.
At least, it certainly sounds foolproof.
I think there’s a saying, “it’s better to be thought of as a fool that to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”
I’m feeling at this moment that my blog is a doubt remover.
But perhaps it’ll be wrong.
Perhaps I’m not a fool…?
I just want to wear a bikini and feel proud of what I see in the mirror.
When I’m home, alone or with my husband, I don’t have a lot of body issues. Even being overweight, I’m pretty happy with how I look naked. I’m shaped well enough, and again, I’ve got my fat girl boobs going. It’s mainly how I look in clothes that is a concern for me
I feel pretty strongly about dressing for my body type. I’m all about structured clothing items and fabrics that float away from the body. But I miss the days when I could literally put on any piece of clothing and it worked as long as it wasn’t intended for someone who was 5’10”. I want that back.
I promise if I get that back, I will still dress age appropriately.
Except for crop tops.
I figure it will take me until my 30th birthday to get a completely flat tummy, and my almost-but-not-quite-old ass will be wearing crop tops and lots of them.
But other than that, completely age appropriate.
I’m just hoping that when I get into bed tonight I can turn my brain off so I can get enough sleep to wake up early Friday and start working out.
Did you miss me?
I’ve been gone quite a while. I didn’t take a break from blogging on purpose, but I did take a break. Settling into New York City living has been… interesting, to say the least.
But I’m pretty much all settled in now. A trip to Chicago last weekend where it was cold as hell (Polar Vortex, anyone?) convinced me that I really am A Chicago-Style Girl in NYC. The husband says I’m a New Yorker, and he feels very proud of himself for getting me home.
I have to admit, I love it here.
Manhattan is lovely, Brooklyn is lovely. And the other boroughs… well I don’t know too much about them. We have family in Staten Island, but we don’t get over there that often.
I have judged New Yorkers for years for never leaving their island(s), but now I totally get it. The idea of traveling anywhere else feels overwhelming. I have some traveling to do for my 30th birthday bucket list, which I’ll happily explain in a later post. But other than that, I won’t do any more travel outside of New York except to two (so far!) weddings I have to attend this year.
So what have I been up to in the four months since my last post? A bunch of the same ole same ole.
I still work in organ and tissue donation, pretty much doing the same thing in New York that I was doing in Chicago.
I’m still doing my volunteer work at the home for new mothers. I also volunteer at a soup kitchen in Greenwich Village on Saturdays.
I finally got my box cutter, and I carry it and my pepper spray everywhere I go. Makes me feel safe, you know?
I still have issues with laundry. I pray for the day that we’ll be able to afford an apartment with laundry in the building.
I still suck at making friends, but I have been hanging out with folks from the soup kitchen, so that’s a start. I’m also pretty friendly with some people from work, but I’m slow-playing that because it’s new for me make friends with co-workers.
As I mentioned before, my trip home was this past weekend. I went home because of one of my girl’s baby shower. Six of my bridesmaids plus myself have this little crew and we take care of each other.
They, along with my mother, threw my bridal shower. And this six of us who are not pregnant planned this baby shower.
I made the centerpieces, which was a fun craft project. Hand-painting zebra print is not for the faint of heart.
Taking 7 solid wood bases through airport security is also not for the faint of heart. But I got through it and now each of my girls has a memento from the baby shower.
I’m glad I’m back blogging and I look forward to catching up on all the blogs I haven’t been reading for the last few months. Can’t wait to see what you people have been up to. Happy New Year! Happy Holidays! and all that.
This past week has been a busy one for me. I’m so glad to be back in the humdrum hustle and bustle of New York City. I got a more restful sleep in the city that never sleeps that I did at a tucked away resort outside of Atlanta. I guess NYC really is becoming home for me.
Since I only went missing for a week this time, I’m not going to do a full catch-up post. I’m just going to do the posts I was planning had I found time to write last week. I was surprised that everyday I thought of something to blog about. None of it was so fantastic that you’ll be blown away, but it was certainly more interesting that a day of I-went-to-work-then-I-came-home-and-cooked-dinner.
The posts you can expect are:
Seriously, I Can Teach Anyone Math
I Don’t Want To Wash My Clothes, And You Can’t Make Me
That Time I Almost Stabbed An Old Man In The Street
I’m Done Paying People To Torture Me
Are You Feeling Jazzy? Are You?!
Anatomy Of A Best Man Speech
Adventures In Flying And Cellphoning
Are those titles intriguing enough? Eh, probably not. But this blog is basically my online journal, so I can say what I want. You can look for the first post a little later today.
Anyone familiar with the Staple Singers? I love music from before and right around the time I was born (this song clearly being almost ten years before). Those people could put together an entire song without ever saying two complete sentences. Good job Curtis Mayfield.
This barely PG song was running through my mind as I was feeling like getting back on top of all the goals I’ve set for myself.
Today is the first day in a while I’ve felt better about work. Things are still up in the air about so many aspects of my department, but at least I’m getting used to it. Having a new boss, having different job duties, and having different employees was really a lot to take in all at once.
I’ve been reading a lot of great blog posts around about how to handle stress. It gave some great tips, but it also just reminded me to acknowledge the stress and not hermit crab myself until it passed. Almost as soon as I looked the stress right in the eye, it dissipated.
I’m still not crazy about things at work, but I have a whole new perspective.
Ah, who am I kidding. I feel better because I see a way out. When you fix one part of your life, the rest seems to feel less important. Our lease on the apartment I’ve come to hate is up June 30th.
Obviously, I’ll be turning Project UnPack into Project Downsize-and-RePack. Wish me luck. I really have no choice but to get shit done in the next couple months. If I tell myself that a few more times, perhaps I’ll really mean it.
Since I’m getting my projects back on task, I’ll take a look at being healthy again. My blog was judging me as Day 90 came and went for the Tracy Anderson Metamorphosis. I really dropped the ball on that one.
If I start again (for the third time), I’ll start back at the beginning. I’m thinking I should. It was going well when I was making time for it no matter what and when I was utilizing MyFitnessPal.
A new friend I met through UBP13 named Danielle over at Motivating Mommy has invited me to friend her on the app/website. She’s my first friend on that site, so I’m looking forward to using that to get back into it. Can you tell I’m barely effective at utilizing social media?
So with Project RePack, starting over at Day 1 for Tracy Anderson, and finding a balance at work, I’ve got an awful lot on my plate. You know what always smooths things out for me? Shopping!
I don’t really have the expendable income to do a lot of shopping for myself, but I can do shopping for others. There are birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays coming up soon. Today, I just purchased the birthday gift for our twin nieces. We’re getting them these adorable old school style lunch boxes. Want to see a sample of what they look like? Of course you do!
If you click the screenshot, it will take you to the Frecklebox website, and you can have a closer look.I purchased two already and the gifts are shipping soon my way customized for each girl. Even though it’s not for me, a bit of shopping really just rounds out my week and takes the edge off.
For clarity’s sake, this wasn’t sponsored at all. If it were, the picture would be better, the post more streamlined, and praise more effusive.
Aside from the shopping-when-I-have-no-money, who’s getting back on track with me? Being healthy, reducing stress, making your
house apartment a home? Let’s do this!
Don’t let the title fool you! I’m not going through any crisis. I’m not even sure I count as quarter-life anymore. The average life expectancy of an American woman is 80 1/2, so I’m really 35% of the way there already. Damn, over a third dead…
Okay, I’m going to avoid the existentialist crisis I’m hurtling toward for the moment to talk about this blog. This is my 250th post! Yay! Fanfare and all that!
Based on previous blogs I’ve written, this blog is not long for the world. I love it, but I also loved the other ones. Yet they are resigned to the graveyard that all unloved blogs go to languish, hoping someone will Google a random phrase in a post to revive them if only for two paragraphs.
So now, for my 250th post, I will imagine a world where this blog makes it past 1000 posts. I’d like to think this blog isn’t really going through a quarter-life crisis. Perhaps this is more teenage angst, or even puberty.
Ah, whatever. Enough worrying about my blogging whims. On to the celebration of 250 posts.
Should I do a giveaway? Or maybe a series of photos commemorating things I’ve posted?
Nah, at times like this, I like to deflect!
I’m going to talk about my favorite blogs. Blogs that likely haven’t gone through, nor will go through, a quarter-life crisis.
Single Infertile Female – This blog is amazing. I was reading a post the other day when I realized I’d been following this blog for years. She’s been blogging at the same location since December 2009. Her story is amazing: battling endometriosis, trying IVF, and embracing adoption. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. You’ll fall in love with her family and friends (and of course her baby). Join me in rooting for her triumphs. If I have over 100 posts on my blog feed, hers is always the first one I go to.
Fieldwork in Stilettos – This blog is hilarious and I really identify with it, even though the writer and I couldn’t have less in common than the fact that we both have a vagina. She’s an artsy type that started her blog to talk about dating. Now she’s in a serious relationship and has started her own dance company (troupe?). My favorite stories are the ones about her grandmother. I can totally relate to those stories, and I think there’s something in her blog for everyone to relate to.
The Rude Pundit – This blog is rude, crude, and in your face. I would suggest only heading over if you are super liberal and you like the more-than-occasional curse word. He’s even leaning a little more liberal than my particular leanings. But I never tire of the way he rips a new one into the opposition. His posts are always based on logic and intelligence, he just disagrees in the rudest way possible. Imagine if I told you my favorite color was green and if yours was orange, you were unpatriotic. This guy would do a tap dance all over the fallacies in my reasoning and possibly insult my mother, degree, and sexuality along the way. The one thing he always accomplishes is making me double over with laughter.
Baby KERF – If anything could make me want a baby (and to do tons of crunches to strengthen my abdominal muscles), it’s this woman. I’ve followed her blog since she was just starting to show during her pregnancy. I love how well she writes about everything. I feel like I could totally rock motherhood just by following her example. Her posts aren’t all sugarcoated at all, they are honest and they draw you in. I’ve walked away from posts of hers convinced I needed a certain type of stroller based on whatever type of baby I’ll have in a few years. She’s my own personal what-to-expect-when-you’re-expecting book.
My Dating Prescription – This blog is my favorite dating blog! This woman went through one hell of a divorce and is coming out the other side stronger and more aware of herself as a woman. I like going through the 100 dates with her as assigned by her therapist. She’s up to 40 that she’s blogged about so far. It’s been a crazy journey so far. Watching her get to know herself (inside and outside of dating) has taught me things about myself, and I can’t wait to learn more.
When I am not inspired to write, I read the latest posts on these and other blogs, and then inspiration finds me. Perhaps my blog won’t run it’s course before Post #1000 if these people keep making me laugh and teaching me about life.
What blogs do you find inspiring?
Do you know that Stevie Wonder song? It’s a really great song. It came out around the same time as Higher Ground and Don’t You Worry ‘Bout A Thing. My whole life would be better if I could just get someone to follow me around with a boombox playing every song Stevie Wonder ever did.
Not that I need my life get better; it’s pretty great the way it is now. So much has happened since my last post. The short version is that I’ve been super busy with work. I’m kind of workaholic. I’m that girl who’s on a weekend trip to New York City at a fabulous restaurant known for celebrity sightings and amazing Asian food who calls into work to check on things.
I play the Sims 3 and characters with the workaholic trait will just whip out their cellphone or laptop in the middle of another activity to check on work. For years now, I’ve been judging those Sims and the crazy tech guys who created them. I used to think, “how unrealistic. No one would stop in the middle of a pool party to check a work e-mail. What kind of asshole can’t unplug from work? And what kind of insanity must one possess to habitually stay late at work just for the hell of it?”
Apparently, I’m that type of asshole. Nice to meet you, my name is Insanity. Insanity B. Asshole. And I’m a workaholic.
I love my job and what I do, but is that really an excuse for all the working? Eh, I don’t know. Maybe it is. I’m just trying to learn everything I can learn so that I’m prepared for whatever comes next.
Usually in the midst of working hard, I’m not doing much else. I haven’t seen most of my friends in weeks. I spend a good amount of time with the husband when he’s not touring, and with our parents, but not much else. The husband misses me when I’m gone, which is so sweet. He’ll cal me while I’m at work just to say hi, only to hear me ask in an exasperated tone why he’s calling. A more recent conversation went like this:
Husband: Hey, I know you’re at work and you’re probably busy–
Me: Yes, I am busy. I’m always busy. I haven’t written a blog post in 137 months because I’m always busy since moving to days. And can I ask you something? Do you remember me doing this to you when you were teaching? I can guarantee you don’t because I never did this. I never called you in the middle of the day. I assumed you were busy with work, teaching, or lesson planning or something. But yet you call me all the time, just to say hi. I’m glad you love me, but you need to let me work time be my work time. Please tell me you have something important to say.
Husband: Yes, I do. I just got the call. They want me to do the Chicago Jazz Festival this summer. Is that a good enough reason to call?
Me: Hell yes it is! I know this is that moment where I should take back what I said, but the point still stands. You’re not calling me just to say hi, and that is amazing! After playing at the fest a couple of years in a row, this time it is your band! Yes!
Husband: I know right. I’m so excited. Okay, I’ll let you go. See you when you get home.
I wish all our conversations went like that when he calls me at work. Just amazing news and brief conversation.
But enough about work and the husband. Well, a little more about the husband. We just got back from Alabama. We went to visit a friend of his (who was a groomsman in our wedding) who teaches at a college in Tuscaloosa. We had a pretty good time, and crossed Alabama off our travel list.
There really isn’t much to the state, but you’d be surprised how fun any location is with good company. I love travelling with the husband, even if it meant running for flights and barely making them both coming and going. We really need to only every go on road trips because planes always have some calamity or near-disaster involved when we fly. I won’t get into the details because it just feels like too much to write in an already lengthy blog post.
So, in other news:
- My best friend just moved back home and I’m really looking forward to a fun summer with her before we will live in different states again.
- There are three weddings this fall, in a five-week period. All three couples were at our wedding and got engaged after our wedding. So exciting!
- Being supervisor is such a mixed bag, but I’m totally cut out for administration, and possibly management too. It’s too soon to tell for certain.
- My younger cat, Jazz, is getting so big now. She’s almost as big as Belle. And she whoops her ass when the play fight. It’s not even a contest, poor Belle.
- I’m so heartbroken Smash got moved to Saturdays, which means it’s on its way out. And Leverage got cancelled. Gossip Girl ended this season and so did Private Practice. What the hell!? At least I have Scandal, Grey’s Anatomy, Glee, and White Collar.
- I’m still catching up on everyone’s blogs. I apologize for the lack of comments. Along with not having time to write my blog posts, I also didn’t have time to read any.
You ever have one of those moments where you feel like you should write a new blog post, but you don’t really feel like writing a blog post? I have recently found a cure for the blog writer’s block. It’s other people’s blogs.
If you are like me, you read a lot of blogs. My current ‘follow’ list has 63 blogs on it. This is a lot considering I purge my blog list every six weeks or so of blogs I find I no longer have an interest in reading. I’ve become quite attached to the blogs I read and people who write them. Most of them are personal blogs, with a few political, photography, and cooking blogs thrown in. Reading about the latest goings on in the lives of my fave blog writers has become a real part of my life.
There are times when I need more though. When that happens, I make my way over to the blog of one of you people who comment a lot on my blog. If you have responses for me, I know you respond to the other
far more interesting things other people have to say. So I’ll go to a blog you read or recommend or comment on a lot. And every now and again, I strike gold.
Last night, my gold mine was a blog called Baby Kerf. I don’t read a ton of mommy/pregnancy blogs, but I love this one. And after reading a couple recent posts, I felt inspired. I felt like I should bring my butt back to my blog and write a post. I figured now was the time to just get on with what I’ve been avoiding talking about.
But before that, I want to talk about the husband. He was totally right about the long ass road trip to Virginia. It was an amazing weekend and we all had so much fun. I love his family so much, and spending time with them is just as high on my list of fun things to do as spending time with my family. I really feel blessed to have married into such a fun, warm, and caring clan. When I write my Fifty by 50 post about Virginia, I’ll explain exactly why I know I belong in this family. Two words: wine tasting.
Okay, I’m getting on with it. I’ve stopped working out. It wasn’t on purpose. First I was busy, then I was sleepy, then I felt stressed, then I was sick, then I was out-of-town. And before I knew it, two weeks had passed. I did so good from July 31st to September 14th, but it just went awry. It became easier to sleep and drink water and sleep and sulk and sleep and blow my nose than to hop around and do ridiculously angled leg exercises for an hour each day.
Even though I feel like a complete failure, I’m not out of it. I have learned a big ass lesson about balancing life’s priorities. Having this big wedding in Virginia to go along with the husband’s CD release party was just too much. I knew things would get this way before this part of September arrived, and I didn’t plan accordingly. The weather changed and I got sick. Things got busy, and I didn’t focus on getting enough sleep. Time got short, and I stopped making home-cooked meals.
One thing piled on the next and I let it happen. It was like a slow-moving car accident, which is never fun to witness or be a part of. So, I definitely won’t let this happen again. There will be many times in life that we will be busy and stressed and sick and sleepy. That doesn’t mean I can let my short-term goals fall apart because then my long-term goals won’t get reached.
There will be a two-week gap on my calendar. Luckily, the Tracy Anderson Method allows you to pick up where you left off without skipping anything. So I’m still on day 31-40, but I will finish it out and keep moving and keep on track. I don’t know if I’ve gained any weight back or not. Based on how my clothes fit, I haven’t gained any size back so far. I attribute that to my vigilance about my diet. I’ve been avoiding processed foods like the plague and not too many processed sugars or fried food.
Now that I’ve outed myself, and I can breathe a little easier. Yes, I faltered, but I’m picking myself back up again. I’ve learned a lot about how much my health means to me. I’ve learned about the best ways for the husband and I to handle stress. And I’ve learned that no matter what happens in the short-term, I can re-focus if I stay committed to my long-term goals.
Every day is a choice.
Every single day I have to remember to smile and exercise and drink water and sleep.
NOTE: The link is all fixed!
Even though I really do have more than enough on my plate already, I’ve decided to add more. I am going to try to do the cooking blog. Am I crazy? I probably am, but I really want to do this, so I am going to do it.
I have decided the blog will go live today at 10:00 CST. You can check it out here. There’s just an intro post. I mean this shit is really bare bones at this point, but I’m working on it. In the meantime, I’m looking at other cooking blogs to get an idea of what types of formats people follow in their posts.
I won’t go too straightforward with just recipes and pictures. I like to do my commentary and to add my opinions a little too much for that. So we’ll see where it goes.
I have already got my first recipe down, and I’m so proud of that fact. When the niece was over to our apartment all last weekend, we made pancakes using a recipe from the cookbook that I love so much and on which this entire blog is based.
Have you ever made pancakes from scratch? I’ve always wanted to as a kid, but never got around to it because using the box mix was just so much easier. But now I take pride in making things myself and not from a mix.
I must admit I’m quite excited about this new blog. This personal blog of mine filled with randomness (like Tracy Anderson trying to kill me) and plans (like the never-ending quest to unpack my apartment) and anecdotes about the husband is still my first love, but it’s nice to find a way to connect two things I really love. Blogging and cooking made a baby and it’s called You Can Find Me Under The Cookbook.
I’m considering adding something to my blog. Or maybe adding a second blog. As I’m typing this, I’m considering all the reasons why this is a terrible idea. I don’t really have the time to work on an additional blog. My days are already pretty packed as it is.
So what’s my motivation for even considering this craziness? My favorite cookbook.
This is my go-to cookbook when I want to make something I don’t already have a recipe memorized for. The recipes are easy follow. What’s even better is they are easy to adapt. I rarely make a recipe exactly as listed in the book, and so far, the food has always turned out tasty.
I started thinking about that movie Julie/Julia and wondered if I could cook my way through this book. It has 700+ pages, so it would take me years to get through it. It certainly wouldn’t consume my life like the chick who the movie was based on. But it would be a fun long-term project that would be just for me.
I love being in the kitchen and I love cooking, so it’s something to consider. Of course, I would start making the recipes as they are actually listed instead of altering them to fit what I want to make in that moment. The only thing I would change is I wouldn’t use canned food. I’ve been trying quite successfully to avoid all canned foods lately. There will have to be some sort of nuclear explosion killing all the farms and ranches before I go back.
The next step is to really think hard about whether this is a project I truly want to undertake. Any suggestions or input?
Everyone has naive moments. Some are more spectacular than others. I thought my blog name would be fun. It would be a play on Chicago-style hot dogs. I never did much to play up that theme, so it never really translated.
What’s more is that I get random ass traffic to my blog for searches like “hot girls in chicago” “hot girl” “come to your house strippers chicago” “hot girls chicago”.
Since I barely post pictures of anything, no one is coming to my website and seeing hot girls. They certainly can’t find information about strippers that come to your house.
I don’t want to let go of the Chicago Girl thing I’ve got going though, so I have made some changes. The title of my blog is now Chicago-Style Girl, if you haven’t noticed the change yet. I’m still me, but maybe avoiding the traffic and disappointing those who want to read a blog about sexcapades in Chicago.
My domain name expires in 2 months. I don’t want to wait that long, so in about a week, I”m going to switch over to a new domain. It will be achicagostylegirl.com. Make sure you put that ‘a’ in front. chicagostylgirl.com just leads to a weird geocities website that will put mad malware on your computer.
Once I change over, the old domain will still work for a few more weeks. I’ll make sure to put a note somewhere on the homepage so you can change your feed if you read this blog via RSS.
Once I’m no longer attracting the attention of random ass Google searches, maybe I can put more pictures of myself up without being heckled by someone expecting hot girls.
This is the moment when I realize I don’t have very many pictures of myself. I guess the overkill of pictures from the wedding did it. Oh well, here is a picture of the husband and me from when we went on the cruise a few months ago.
Would you ever write a blog post that said, “I don’t feel like talking to you right now?”
I’m sure we’ve all read a blog at some point that said how much the blogger didn’t feel like blogging or how they were in the doldrums or something like that. I find myself wondering if they’re still sugar coating.
I’d like to see a leave-me-the-hell-alone for a week blog post. Something that honestly expresses a person’s feelings. You have that moment where you don’t feel like responding to comments, you don’t feel like posting, you don’t feel like reading anyone else’s blog.
Just be real and say you need a break. You’ll be back, we understand.
I started thinking about this because I didn’t feel like blogging today. I didn’t feel like responding to comments. And I didn’t feel like doing anything but asking everyone to give me some space for 48 hrs.
And then I started thinking about what would happen if someone really wrote that type of post. And suddenly, I wanted to blog about it. And once I finish writing this post, I’ll go respond to some comments.
How do you deal when you don’t feel like writing? I don’t mean when you have nothing to say, but when you just don’t feel like it.
And does your apathy extend to the rest of your life? Do you let calls go to voicemail too?
Am I the only who likes being left alone sometimes? So maybe this time it was a fleeting moment because I’m texting and chatting on my cell as I’m writing this post, but I really do feel that way sometimes.
After alluding to not wanting to talk to anyone, I realize it’s not true. I love your comments. You all crack me up. Even better is when my commenters interact with each other. When I’m quite certain you don’t read each other’s blogs, but you talk to each other in my comments section, I feel like I’m bringing people together.
And now I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy and I want a hug instead of a cone of silence. Funny how that works sometimes.
Would you consider the writers of your favorite blogs your friends? How friendly do you feel toward them? Are these feelings based on many conversations had via comments or actual messages?
This is something I’ve been thinking about recently because I’ve been paying more attention to the blogs I read and the people who write them. I’ve shortened the list of blogs I read to only those that I actually read. I will add new blogs that seem interesting, but only if I feel drawn to the writer of the blog.
Is that creepy? Do you all now want to run from the crazy lady who only reads your blog because she feels drawn to you?
I don’t know that I feel like bloggers are my friends though. I don’t know y’all. I just know what you choose to share. I can’t read facial expressions or body language. I wasn’t there when the crazy shit you talk about actually happened. What do I know about how truthful you’re being about how awesome you seem?
Perhaps my love for lack of spelling errors carries too much weight. And I am a sucker for writing that makes me laugh.
I know that blogging communities (20SB, BlogHer, BlogFrog, etc.) don’t really appeal to me. But the little community that develops as a group of bloggers all happen to comment on each other’s blogs feels pretty good to slowly become a part of. Throw in a little twitter
stalking following, and suddenly you’re getting a pretty good picture of who a person is.
If you’ve made it to the end of my rambling musings, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Since I love blogging, and I love the husband, I figured blogging about my wedding would be a rewarding and fulfilling experience for me. I was woefully and regrettably wrong wrong wrong.
I have my reasons, you may not agree with them. I’m prepared for lack of agreement, but just know I feel quite strongly about this. Here goes.
Reason #1: My wedding is being f-ing photocopied! Whoever said the highest form of flattery is imitation is an asshole. There is a wedding happening this summer that is my wedding on rinse and repeat. My flowers: orchids, gardenias, roses. This wedding: ditto. My baker, my florist, my freaking dress consultant are all making appearances at this wedding. Even her bridal shower at the end of the month has the same theme. I’ve been told not to blame the bride because her wedding has been hijacked by people with stronger opinions. I’ve been told I should be flattered. I’ve been told that it could all be a coincidence.
All I know is that I’m not flattered. There have been so many weddings held my members of my church in the last three years, and many have been unique and tasteful. So why is mine being carbon copied? We put a lot of thought into our choices and I don’t appreciate someone just jocking my style. Half our wedding vendors aren’t even easy to find. They aren’t located in the city or aren’t big on the internet, which means that the planners of this wedding bypassed the easier finds to go to my vendors. I’ve been having a WTF moment concerning this wedding for like the last 4 months. Oh, did I mention that the bridesmaid dresses look like mine, just slightly darker plus rhinestones?
Reason #2: I’ve lost my love for blogging about my wedding. I can’t bring myself to blog about my wedding. I have several posts written, but I stopped right at the bachelor/bachelorette party. All I have to do is add in pictures from our photographer. I specifically requested the more expensive package so I could have the rights to all these photos and now I’m not even using them. I just don’t feel like it. I don’t know how normal that is, but I just don’t wanna.
Reason #3: There are still items on my to-do list. I still haven’t submitted the photos for our professional album. I still haven’t mailed thank you cards. I just hate that there are still to-do items. We don’t even have on file the addresses for the last minute invitees. The drive to Staples to buy labels to print out and put on already completed thank you notes just feels like too big of a task. I wish someone else would do it.
Reason #4: Thinking about my wedding makes me feel less married. I was so excited once the wedding was over. The husband and I haven’t been together for long, so I felt like the majority of our relationship was consumed by wedding planning. Now that we’re not wedding planning anymore, we’re just us. We’ve had four blissful non-wedding planning months and even thinking about anything wedding related makes me feel like I’m regressing. I suppose that’s why we didn’t even watch our wedding video until our mothers made us on Mother’s Day.
I’m not at all apathetic about my marriage, just my wedding. It was a beautiful day that was this great big party. Everyone had an amazing time and I’m so grateful for what my parents (both sets) made possible for the husband and me. I just don’t want to think about it right now. Or at all for the next 6 months.
Do I suck completely for feeling this way? I imagine couples who’ve been together for years don’t go through this. I don’t want to be ungrateful, I just want to be married and leave my wedding in the past. I remember the tasty food, the endless dancing, the amazing music, and my gorgeous bouquet. All the rest can go poof. For now.
You know how it is when you get on a roll with your blogging. You blog every day and pat yourself on the back. You begin writing drafts of posts in advance because you’ve got it like that.
Then one day you realize you never published you draft. Then you go out of town for a weekend. On Monday, you’re too tired to post again. Then you realize you never edited your draft, so it’s really more trouble than it’s worth and you could just do it tomorrow.
Then you get a long weekend off from work and admit that last thing you want to do is spend non-working hours tethered to a computer/cell phone putting out another post.
Then you look up and six weeks have passed. You’ve neither blogged nor read any of the blogs you regularly do. You wonder if Single Lesbian Brooklynite has managed to rid herself of extra emotional women who aren’t even remotely ready for a relationship. You wonder how Silver Neurotic’s wedding plans are going. You wonder if Kat Richter’s boyfriend situation is still going strong.
But still, you’re uninspired. It will take so much time to catch up. And really, what excuse do you have to explain where you’ve been? Florida, back to St. Louis, making your friend’s life celebrations super awesome sounds great and all, but who really cares?
Then you remember the majority of your blog reads like a journal so you should suck it up, apologize to the 5 1/2 people who read your blog and get back on the horse.
To preview, I’ll first post all those drafts (there’s only like 3) I started and never published. Then, I’ll move onto the cruise we went to (crossing Bahamas off our country list!). Next, I’ll talk about Project UnPack which finally extended to our living room. Lastly, I’ll discuss how amazing it’s been helping my friends celebrate birthdays, graduations, etc.
I definitely haven’t even missed blogging, but I’m glad to be back!
I like winning awards. Not a participation badge for just showing up, but something that shows my effort has counted. And much like the SAG awards make actors feel special, the blogger peer awards make us feel special.
I haven’t gotten any of the ones directed towards my looks, so that means I must post more photos of myself online I guess. But I do write about enough random crap to get the Versatile Blogger Award. Go me!
A lovely blogger with the pseudonym Aurathena has given me this award. I officially lover her forever. Check out her blog West End Singleton. You will love it and find yourself excited to follow her journey toward her stated goal. And through her blog I found several others that I hadn’t come across before.
All these lovely award come with ridiculous demands. There are four for this one, which isn’t so bad when I think about it.
1. Thank the award-givers and link back to them in your post.
I already did this one above.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
I just got married last month. Dishonesty and injustice are the worst things ever. I only like being surrounded by pretty things. I quite sure that I’m too old to make new friends. When confronted with emotional things, I usually clam up and refuse the conversation. I love my job, but I couldn’t stay here for my career. I can’t wait to start having children, but I would be so upset if it happened anytime in the next two years.
3. Pass this award along to 15 or 20 of your favorite bloggers.
There’s no way I’m passing this to 15 people. I delayed this post for two days because I was trying to decide if I was going to. I’m being a rebel and skipping this step.
4. Contact your chosen bloggers to let them know about the award.
Also no need for this step. But really do check out the bloggers on West End Singleton’s blogroll. They’re great.
1. You must post the rules.
2. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and then create eleven new questions to ask the people you’ve tagged.
3. Tag eleven people and link to them on your post.
4. Let them know you’ve tagged them!
1. What is an interest you have that is not shared by many others? indoor rock climbing.
2. How do you decide what music to put on your iPod? Based on what I like to hear. Also, it has to be music or videos I’ll still feel good about spending money on in six months.
3. Can you describe your personal style in one sentence? Girly, classic, casual, comfortable.
4. What is a quality in people that you can’t stand? Dishonesty.
5. What have you succeeded at despite others telling you that you couldn’t? No one ever tells me I can’t do anything. It’s probably why I have so much confidence.
6. What is a material possession or personal quality that you’ve kept from childhood and won’t be giving up? I have a whole trunk of stuff. I’ll only admit to the American Girl Doll.
7. What was the last book you couldn’t put down? Love in a Nutshell by Janet Evanovich and Dorien Kelly.
8. What would you change about the world if you could? There would be a higher minimum wage.
9. Who is Alan Rickman? Severus Snape!
10. Would you rather in never stopped raining or never stopped snowing in your city? Neither. If there was a city where it never stopped snowing or raining, that would be a city I’d quickly move away from. I’m like a house plant or house cat. I needs me sunshine.
11. What do you want to ask me? How did you stumble across my blog?
I’m going to choose not to tag 11 more people, since I already did that. This meme is getting serious!
Monique at Unscripted Musings has tagged me. I must admit I’ve been watching these tags float around the blogs I read and have been wishing I was included. And now I am. Yay!
You must post 11 random things yourself.
Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post.
Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
My Random 11 Things:
- I hate the way super-religious people start treating the customs of their religions as if they’re more than just customs repeated over the years.
- My favorite color is orange.
- I’m starting to resent my wedding because there are so many elements to it I don’t want.
- I can’t wait until the day after my wedding when I get to just be married and not a bride.
- I really really love my birthday. It was last October and I still haven’t taken down the decorations for my party.
- My favorite movie is Ocean’s Eleven.
- I’ve played the piano since I was 7 years old.
- I spend hours out of each week moisturizing my skin and I pride myself on having some of the softest skin anyone’s ever touched.
- My catch-a-man meal is smothered pork chops, rice, and roasted vegetables. It never fails.
- My catch-a-friend meal is my lasagna, a recipe than can be adjusted based on a person’s dietary preferences/needs.
- I prefer being alone to being around other people.
My Answers to Monique’s Questions:
- What has been your best Christmas gift to date? I got a cell phone when I was 12. If I compare gifts that I was pining for and really appreciated and used, that would be it.
- How did you spend last Valentine’s Day? At Quartino’s downtown having an amazing meal. Then driving around as each successive plan for the night fell through. But I still remember it as a fun and romantic night.
- Who’s your favorite author and why? I’m quite sure I don’t have one. But if I had to pick one… Jane Austen.
- Name your first boyfriend. Richard, but I was five so that doesn’t count. I guess Ronald, who I went on my first date with. Yeah, Ronald.
- What’s your favorite dessert? It revolves. Bread pudding right now. But perhaps peach cobbler overall.
- Name a time you’ve been disappointed. When I realized my brother and I were never going to have a real friendship.
- What did you want to be when you grew up? So many things. Geologist, doctor, actress, etc. Every year on career day, I went as something new.
- What’s your favorite season? Right at the end of winter when the air is still crisp, but when you stand in the sunlight, you feel so warm.
- It’s Friday night, it’s payday. Where are you and what are you doing? Probably out to dinner with the fiancé. Or shopping.
- What’s the last movie you saw? In theaters, Beauty and the Beast in 3D. At home, Tangled.
- Why do you blog? It used to be for a number of reasons, but now it’s to have an avenue to talk out things with myself. And to get a window into other people’s lives.
My 11 Questions:
- What’s your favorite type of music?
- What’s your favorite hobby?
- If you have to spend $10,000 on yourself, what would you buy? Don’t say loan repayments.
- What do you do for exercise?
- Why do you blog?
- What’s the last thing you celebrated?
- The last time you cried, what was the reason?
- What’s the best meal you’ve ever had?
- When you look in the mirror, what do you see?
- What’s your favorite movie?
- Name a wish you made that came true.
The People I’m Tagging (I’m trying not to repeat people I know were already tagged, sorry if I do):
Kat at Fieldwork in Stilettos
Thundercat at Colorful Rants of a Fed Up Sista
Daisy at Just Daisy
Sharon at Sharon’s Makeup Diary
This post is about my ass. I love my ass. The fiancé really loves my ass. As a black woman who loves dating black men, having an ass that is sizeable is a dream come true. But that ass is both a gift and a curse.
When I’m at a certain weight, my ass looks perfect to me. Not only my ass, also my boobs, my hips, and my legs. All my girly bits really. The downside to this is that I’m overweight when my ass looks perfect to me.
About 15 pounds overweight to be clearer.
So in addition to a great ass, I also have a pudgy stomach. If I came from a different family, perhaps my outlook would be different. My family is very anti-skinny. We’re also not very athletic (unless you count bowling and golf). So when I’m my sexy-ass-15-pounds-overweight self, no one really sees the problem.
But I want to be healthier. And since there seems to be no way to keep the ass and the health, I have to choose. Knowing what I do about visceral fat on the abdomen (it’s bad), I feel compelled to choose my health.
One of my favorite bloggers recently wrote a post saying her version of why she wanted to be healthy. I gave her encouragement and told her I’d be doing the same thing. Two of my resolutions are to exercise more and to cut down on fried foods.
But to be honest, it was a harrowing experience with my wedding dress that really gave me the motivation to realize my phat ass was a fat ass and needed to be corrected. That’s a story for another post.