I know you all have been on the edge of your seats, waiting to hear the tales of my ascent into infamy by way of infecting a stripper with strep. I’m sorry to tell you, my infamy will have to wait.
I didn’t make it onto the party bus with the stripper. And also, I’m pretty sure I didn’t actually have strep.
After the last post was published, another co-worker texted to let me know she wasn’t coming in to work that night. She was at urgent care, getting a diagnosis of the flu. Then I got concerned, wondering if I had strep or flu, convinced I had one or the other.
It is no fun trying to figure out whether you’ll be taken down by bacteria or virus. You’re just hoping and praying for a third option. Come on, harmless fungal infection!
Nevertheless, I went home determined to rally and go out with the husband. I had to wake him up and make him get dressed, but then we were off. We saw a performance by an amazing musician and his band. I honestly don’t even know what genre of music it was. It was the genre of awesome.
After the next band came on and was not our cup of tea, we headed over to catch the show we intended from the beginning. The party-bus-with-strippers friend was playing at one of the most popular jazz clubs in the city. I was looking forward to seeing what he would put together on his own gig, and I wasn’t disappointed. It wasn’t at all a traditional set, but it was very him. Spontaneous and fun, with just a dash of crazy.
I haven’t mentioned yet that at this point, I already knew we were not getting on the party bus. It was full. F-ing full. I wasn’t banned because I was sick. The husband didn’t decide a stripper party bus was no place for a married couple. None of the reasonable things happened. They just got full up and had no room for us. There were four of us by the way. We caught up with two friends at the first awesome show and rolled to the second fun show together.
After the husband’s friend’s gig was over, we headed to the car to go get some food, and the rest of them headed to the party bus. It was a sad moment for the four of us to watch the bus roll out without us.
We quickly realized how hungry we were and went out for breakfast. At this point, I had been awake for almost 24 hours, but I was still in rally mode. I ordered bacon, eggs, pancakes, and a large cup of coffee. At one point, the guys realized I was tipping over in my seat, and took compassion on me.
I think the husband and I got home about 30 minutes before I had been awake literally for 24 hours. I was so proud of myself. I got through the night and had a lot of fun. Even better, I didn’t get the husband sick. I also didn’t infect any of his friends or his friends’ strippers.
It was quite the successful day. I woke up the next morning feeling like complete crap, but that’s a whole new story. Spoiler alert, I ended up with neither strep nor the flu, just a badass common cold.
To swing fully away from my last few work-centric posts, I’d like to completely switch gears. Let’s talk about strippers. Stripper and strep throat.
Okay, one last thing about work. Strep is going around. Sore throats and fevers popping up here and there. I was lucky enough to escape the flu going around. But the strep got me. I blame changing weather and a 60+ hour work week. Stupid lack of overtime pay.
Moving on back to the strippers. One of the husband’s good friends has a show tonight. Two of them do actually. In fact, it’s likely that most of them do because it’s a Saturday night. But there are two shows we’re going to try to see tonight since the husband has no gig.
I’m looking forward to seeing both guys because I’ve never seen them playing their own gigs. I’ve only ever seen them on someone else’s gig. I’d love to see what type of set list and song choices they put together. The music is just totally different when you’re playing to your own preferences.
One of the friends is getting married this September, so the strippers aren’t related to him. Not that being married means strippers go out of your life. I wouldn’t suggest anyone pretend they don’t like strippers just because they said I do. But that’s a conversation for another time.
The friend who is nowhere near getting married is the one involving the strippers into tonight. After his gig, he has a party bus, and there are reports there will be a stripper or strippers there. The husband thought it would be fun for us to go to the shows and then join the party bus.
Of course I said yes, mostly because it’s one of those experiences to cross off a bucket list, should I ever get around to making one. I mean, think about it. A party bus just sounds fun, even more so under these circumstances.
This was all before the strep. Now I feel like crap. All the lights are too bright, the sounds are too loud. My throat hurts and I’m tired as hell. And truly, if I’m contagious with strep (unconfirmed strep), should I really hang around strippers tonight?
What if I sneeze on one of them or something? I would never sneeze on a person if I could help it, but I’m trying to figure out why I would be that close to the stripper in the first place. On a party bus, they’d have my married heterosexual self in the back of the bus so I don’t get in the way of anything.
But in this sneezing scenario, I’ve infected the stripper. Let’s say she doesn’t get sick. What if she just becomes some highly contagious strep carrier? She’d start infecting people and there would be a small strep epidemic.
It wouldn’t take long before some sap visiting her strip club walks in with a weak or weakened immune system. Next thing you know, that guy’s dead. Then people will be tracing all the strep back to the stripper, who will point the finger at me.
Then I’ll have to explain how I could’ve possibly infected a stripper with strep, and only the 13 1/2 people who read this blog will know the truth.
And then the local news will want to talk to the source of the outbreak because it didn’t follow normal disease patterns. I’ll end up on Wikipedia after a few more people die. Let’s face it, if you’re going to find a grouping of people with weakened immune systems, a strip club is a great candidate.
I can’t have that. I can’t become famous or infamous.
I guess that means we’ll have to avoid the party bus with the stripper(s). Not that I wasn’t dying to go, mind you. I’m just trying to save lives here.
I guess we’ll have to figure out something else to do. Maybe we can double date with the husband’s work wife, but without her non-boyfriend.
Did you follow all that? The husband has a friend we both consider his work wife. We’ve been trying to double date for a while, but she’s not really a fan of her current guy, so we’re thinking of double dating without him.
Is it even still a double date if it’s just three people? I need a name for it other than having a third wheel because it wouldn’t be like that at all.
The husband’s work wife is a waitress though, so there is epidemic potential there as well. Eh, I won’t worry about it because her job has signs everywhere telling the employees to constantly wash their hands. I doubt the party bus even has a sink.
As a general rule, most of the blogs I read don’t update on the weekend. Unless you’re posting everyday or posting ahead of time, there aren’t a ton of new posts to read. And yet, for some reason, I always get a hunkering to read your blogs on Monday. There is never more than 1 new blog post on about half the blogs, but not much more.
A true sign that I’m feeling bloggy is that I’m commenting on all the posts, adding feedback, even requesting future posts on related topics.
There are moments when I don’t feel like catching up on blogs. I know that when I only read the new posts for about half the blogs. That is, the ones I find most interesting. I think that the personal blogs are my favorites. Those people have things going on in their lives I want updates on, and I get quite excited when there’s a new post.
I don’t think there’s really a point to this post. Yes there is. The point is, write more!
When I’m catching up on blogs at work, I want to have more than 20 posts to read.
You know what I did Monday night when I ran out of blog posts (other than work of course)? I went to ESPN.com and went to the live draft lobby. I joined the first Fantasy league I saw. Yup, I spent time getting a fantasy football team.
I guess that means this season I will have two teams. The draft for the team I picked carefully is later. But I needed something to do on the internet other than shop, so I had a draft. This is my fifth year doing fantasy football. I look forward to it because it makes me feel pretty good. I’m usually the only chick in my league, and I”m usually in 1st, 2nd, or 3rd place all season.
Since I rushed into this draft, I haven’t finished my pre-season research on the players, so who knows how my team will do this season. I’m just glad I don’t personally know anyone else in the league so I don’t suffer from trash talking.
I’m looking forward to my other team’s draft. I’m also looking forward to a season of Thursdays, Sundays, and Mondays. Last season lineup changes, crossing my fingers for just one more touchdown, and reasoning bad choices. And of course October, when almost every sport I care about is playing all at once. My birthday month is truly the best month of the year.
Speaking of October, I’ve got to get on planning my birthday trip. My girls and I have been doing it big for our birthdays all year. One of my friend’s birthday is three days before mine, so we do our birthdays together every other year the last handful of years. This year, the plan is to go out-of-town. Not too far away, just somewhere in the Midwest. A nice grown-up weekend away. Maybe we’ll catch a live show, hit a museum. Just explore another city and drink lots of wine while we do it.
I like when I have things to look forward to. Won’t it be nice that I’ll have things to blog about other than my daily ramblings on my exercise/diet plan?
I’ve got a story. A story about a girl who went too far. At first, she just wanted to replace the ice cream her husband ate. So they went for ice cream.
Instead of replacing the ice cream, they went to Oberweis. She didn’t just get some ice cream though. She got a hot fudge brownie sundae in a waffle cone bowl dipped in chocolate and nuts.
Then it was lunch time. She wanted to go to a fried chicken place by her parents’ house. When she saw the menu, she had to have this one combo meal. It had 2 wings, a pizza puff, and fries.
This girl hadn’t officially fallen off the wagon, she just jumped off and ran along side for a few hours.
Yes, that girl is me. From 1-3 pm Saturday, I lost my damn mind. It didn’t hit me until I was so full I literally had trouble breathing. I had to sit still for 15 min just to keep from throwing up.
I guess after a week of eating more meals, but less food each day had my stomach totally unprepared for the food I threw at it. It will be a long time before I do that shit again.
After I recovered from the catastrophe that was my lunch, things improved. The husband and I got some good work done on his website that we continued last night. My dad helped too.
Then the husband left for his gig and I went with my parents to Ikea. I had apprehension about it because of things I’d heard both good and bad. But it was amazing.
After making a plan not to buy anything, we bought these candle holders that were the very first things we laid eyes on. We then proceeded to drool over kitchens, counter tops, living rooms, closets, lighting fixtures and everything else.
Ikea is a magical land where the perfect setup that would work for your space exists. You may have seen a TV stand similar to what you really need/want, but not quite right before. But at Ikea, you find the perfect stand. And the prices are so low.
I’m in love with our shelving system in our apartment, and I didn’t see anything at Ikea that could top it. I did see something comparable that was a little more permanent and quite ideal for when we have a house. But the shelves we have right now are perfectly portable for all the moving around we’ll be doing the next handful of years.
After we left Ikea, my parents dropped me off at home where I quickly got ready to go out with my co-worker. Her friends house party was a real house party. Juke music all night long, a pan of chicken, rounds of shots, and a robust game of flippy cup.
The things that stood out most to me at this party was that these were grown ass folks. Most were married or engaged. They were professionals. All this I knew before I got there, but it was just right there in front of me. The only other room I’d ever been in with so many wedding bands was at church events.
It’s nice to see married people who know how to have fun. They weren’t dry or boring, they were intelligent, funny, and knew how to have a food time. I could definitely hang out with them again. And I’d bring the husband of course.
I finally got my butt home and in bed a little before 4 am. The day didn’t turn out like I expected at all.
But it was great. I finally saw Ikea for myself. I got to meet some great new people. I spent time with the husband and the family.
And maybe I ate too much bad food. I got back on track on Sunday, didn’t gain any weight, and kept on exercising. I could definitely have more Saturdays like that.